Saturday, May 22, 2010

Symphony of the Night!

For those of you that are unfamiliar with the epic win that is Castlevania; Symphony of the Night, here is a rundown of it for you, told from the perspective of my 10 year old She-Spawn, who had to write an essay of choice for school & which she chose this as her vocation:

"It is the year 1792 in my video game Castlevania; Symphony of the Night, when Alucard has the mission of killing his greedy father Dracula to save the human race. Dracula is the king of vampires. The main character's name is Alucard (Dracula spelled backwards.)

When your finally done with the first level Death steals all your weapons from you. But as you go through the game you get a lot more powerful weapons that are better and you get back the ones you start out with. After you beat the final boss Richter Belmont, if you have a special thing you can turn the castle upside down. Then you do a lot of the other stuff.

Next you fight the dark priest Shaft and FINNALLYYY! DRACULA!!!!

Before you fight him, you have to do a lot of stuff. First you start at the Chapel where you kill Medusa like the one from Clash of the Titans. Next you go to Orlox's Lair where you fight a mummy as stinky as a sewer rat. After that you go to the Reverce (<----that is how it's really spelled) Caverns and fight the clone of yourself the Doppelganger. Then after that you go to the Abandon Mine where you fight the Grim Reaper (Death) when he threatens to feast on your soul. Then you go to the Floating Catacombs and fight the toughest boss in the game Galamoth. After that you go to the Alchemy Laboratory where you fight Beelzebub. (Here She-Spawn even takes the liberty of drawing an adorable little fly hovering above the word 'Beelzebub') Beelzebub is the fly you kill. I can't remember the Zombie's name but it's probably as stinky as a stink bomb considering there's a swarm of flies forming around it and maggots falling off it.

Next I went to Castle Keep where I got an ultra rare sword called the Crissaegrim. Dracula is only supposed to raise once every century but if you collect the heart of Dracula after you beat the bosses then you'll get to fight him. Sometimes you'll only get a life max up likeat the Colliseum when you kill the 3 false heroes, the same at the Clock Tower when you fight the evil bat monster. then you fight the dark priest Shaft, then finally DRACULA.

After that he starts saying a bunch of things then it's over and it plays a song that sounds like it would be playing at an old folks home or on an old depressing 1970's Japanese anime.

Oh, yeah, I HATE THE BORING SONG!!! Well that's my summary!

(& then she drew a picture of Alucard)

S'very endearing. MeSoProud!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


My loins hath brewed up a new brand of evil for the morning. It is in no way as delightful as it might sound.

Mother's Day... I'll start with that. Well, the weekend of it anyhow.

My spawn are so hobbit like in the gift giving department, they cannot wait to relinquish their presents, y'know? She-spawn got right on making me an Otep shirt, I told you guys all about that. Then the starshaped bowl that Fezziwig bestowed as gift upon me. That was all Friday. Saturday She-Spawn begged Snookms to take her to Disc Replay & they bought me the limited edition of Akira! Her in I slapped it in right away, watched it all the way through only taking breaks long enough to gather junk food rations. She was really engrossed into the movie, I'd kinda figured she would be; she's just intriguing like that.

The next day Snookms took us for ice cream to Baskin Robbins & bought me a ridiculously large bouquet of sunflowers & daisies, cause he knows I be jockin sunflowers like mad. Also grabbed me an Itunes card in which I flooded with great muzaks.

"Happy Mother's Day To Me!" Is what I titled the cd:

  1. Someone Great -LCD Soundsystem
  2. Nautilus -Depreciation Guild
  3. Fade Into You -Mazzy Star
  4. Astral Projection to Rabid Hell -Urgehal
  5. Cellar Door -Michael Andrews
  6. Reflection of the Television -The Twilight Sad
  7. Unfavorable Meanings -Teenage Panzerkorps
  8. Transmission -Joy Division
  9. Rebellion (Lies) -Arcade Fire
  10. Only Pain -Unsane
  11. Black Bile -Graves at Sea
  12. Boris -Melvins (I really wanted the Isis/Agoraphopic Nosebleed cover but couldn't find it!)
  13. Big Empty -Stone Temple Pilots
  14. 2:45 A.M. -Elliot Smith

So I've been cranking that real loud & driving my spawn crazy with it. & Snookms too. Oh how I love to make him hate things!

So like after all o' that we headed down to Snookms' moms' pad to well wish her a Happy Mother's Day. Snookms step dad made a turkey & we had turkey sandwiches & watched Blind Side. Good movie. I had a huge crush on "Big Mike" the whole movie & kept snickering everytime anyone said his name cause that's what I call Snookms when he refuses to respond to "Snookms".

When we were done there we headed out to my mom's & dad's to drop off the 2 containers of Jamocha Almond Fudge I nabbed her from Baskin Robbins. See, that shit is treasure in our family cause all the Baskin Robbins in our area are pretty much extinct. Have to travel FarAndWide for that shit now...

So she was all squeeing & eeekin over it like I had hoped she would. She is such a great gift receiver. She got me a really cute top from some store in Metropolis that I keep forgetting the name of. She also bought me a 'Bella bracelet" cause I've been tryna nab hers from her wrist for like, an eternity & a day & shit. Mine's brown. Her's is black. & she has a white one too now. Ho-HUM! *Oh! You must have dropped this!*

Didn't get to stay & play for too long, as the hour was growing late. Came home & got the kiddoes all tuckered in bed. Snookms & I did fun stuff but I can't even remember what it was. He's been a real joker lately. Making me giggle with flexing his muscles in the mirrors when he knows I'm watching, starts kissing them & stuff till I explode with laughter. That kind of a thing.

Oh! Also! That night, when I walked to the mailbox to put a check in the mail for our kiddoes' insurance? There was a package in the mail from Let-Dawg! She took the time to send me a card & a most ADORABLE golden owl necklace. It has aqua blue eyes & an amber jeweled tummay. SO PRECIOUS! It was all moist & cold from being in the mailbox all night, which only added to it's irresistable allure.

Monday was back to work; went to do an initial clean on a new house that Kristi agreed to start doing. Wasn't too bad, the woman's got a Maserati (sp?) in her driveway though! Cute little abode, nothing too backbreaking right? She pays us more & more money as we progress though the house, realizing how "good of a job" we are doing. By the time we got outta there our pockets were stuffed with 30 dollar tips! How cool is that, right?

Later that night I looked forward to Big Bang Theory, pretty much the only light at the end of the dreary Monday tunnel aside from seeing Snookms & the spawns when they get home. Big Bang Theory is pretty much the only show I brake for these days. It was Lost for the longest time, but I have given up on the show for now just because I am so motherfucking behind. I refuse to watch the last episode not knowing what the fuck has been going on for the last 3 seasons. At least that is what I am telling myself so that I can resist the temptation for next Wednesday... or is it Tuesday? Or is it THIS week? See!!! I am a MESS!

But Big Bang Theory. This show pleases me to an obscene degree. Sheldon has me swooning & giggling in toe curling delight, & his 3 pals ain't far behind. Sheldon reminds me of 3 parts Jr. (my oldest spawn), & 1 part Erin (my oldest brother, but I am STILL older than him & can beat him up so don't even try). Everybody loves Sheldon. Mordicai kind of reminds me of him too, but Mordicai is definately a far more fashionably aware version of Sheldon. Just with his technicalities & things he gets excited over? It's pretty funny & delightful.

Thursday I got paid & had Friday off so's I took Snookms out on a dinner date to Texas Roadhouse, his choice. I'd never been so I didn't know what to expect. Final verdict? I love the atmosphere, but I'm not to keen on the food. It's too much like domisticated food for my liking. & there is some semblance of sweetness in every food you order there, no matter WHAT it is. I don't like that! But we still had our enjoyment either way, we don't need good food to have fun.

Headed over to SuperTarget across the street to stock up on rations for the weekend; bought the spawn some "Hey, I love you & I see what you've been doing there" kind of items & dilly-dallied home. Kiddoes put to bed & Snookms & I finished up watching '10 Things I Hate About You'; it was Encore or something or another. Snookms secretly adores this movie, I can feel it in my bones. He faithfully giggles when Heath Ledger smacks that cop on the butt during the ever-so-charming singing scene. & the whole, "I have a dick on my face, don't I" thing? Poignant moments in our life, people!

After Snookms nodded off on the couch I slipped away to take care of my hair business. & when I say business, BOY DO I MEAN BUSINESS! Lotta werk to be done there folks. See, I shave the back of my head, like, not half way but maybe a third of the way (though there was a point when I was shaving it even past the halfway mark) & I have a bad habit of not keeping up on it. So when I tie my hair up it looks like I've just hacked all my hair off & you see these questionable roots furling up underneath it all, which just makes it look like my hair is really short. So yeah, I had that to attend to. I used to keep up with it all the time in high school but damn! It's hard to scrape up time for that shit these days? So I did that up real quick & then proceeded to bleach half of my bangs so I could dye them purple for the next day. Feels so good to go to bed with a freshly shaved scalp!

So Friday I awoke with a beastly vigor, ready for the new day ahead. It was movie night @ Robbie's & I am falling in super mad love with Robbie real fukken quick. He was that boy in high school with a trench coat, wearing an Art of Noise tshirt & being snarky to whom deserved it & unscathingly romantic to those who didn't. His words drip so effortlessly from his maw, & I am puddy in his hands I am telling yew! I'm sure he's turned hundreds of tricks this way...

So blue black dye was in the cards for my hairs that day, along with the purple for my bangs. Took a lot less time & effort than I had initially proposed for myself, but I was still tired after it all. By the time darkness descended I was ready to just plop on Robbie's red couch & sleep.

But instead Mysty, Katie, Robbie & I watched Bitchslap, which was descent. Robbie says it's what Tarantino's movies SHOULD be, but I like the Tarantino flicks just fine the way they are. Still some decent moments in the movie though. The girl on girl action was pretty hot & I really liked the nun scene too. We were s'posed to watch Immortal after that but I just wanted to be a chatty Kathy instead. Robbie took it upon himself to pop in The Cure's Disintegration live dvd to play as white noise whilst we sat & learned more about each other. I am so in love with Weekend Evenings @ Robbie's House...

Katie has me cracking up with the way she laughs & what she laughs at. We are one in the same in that manner of thinking.

Other fun moments in the week worth mentioning was going to the park on Sunday with Snookms & the spawn tribe. We haven't been since last summer, so it was a real treat. This park we go to is the king of the woods as far as parks go; it has the most secluded, wooded areas that you could know of. They are at every corner, I am telling you. & a bridge! A creek! Here to make all your RPG fantasies come true. I am a sucker for secluded wood areas; get over me!

The kiddoes had fun veering off the paths to find their own, while Snookms & I messed around with some potsmoking teenagers who thought they were being discreet. Ahhhh! How I miss them days...

We will be going back every weekend prolly, such great adventure there.

Back around to Monday, all about Big Bang Theory of course. Later on that night Snookms & I stayed up too late watching Robocop. This movie was intense for me as a kiddo, but so fucking mesmerizing. Murphy! "Who are YOU? WHO ARE YOU?!" & that melting jerk of rat in the poo sewage? It's always great to know you & the spouse were paying attention to all the same parts of Robocop as a kid. Says a lot about a person...

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Read this book if!...

You must absolutely, positively read Mordicai Knode's book Watchtower Gothic if:

1! You listen to Electric Wizard & enjoy it whether you smoke pot or naught.

2! You play D&D now or ever in your life.

3! You like anything I care about at all.

4! Know what homunculus are...

5! Appreciate the art of this beautifully orchestrated melody...

6! Think that the name Mordicai is cataclysmically awesome.

7! Like to play and/or sympathize with Kender the most. (because of the unintentionably adorable factor of this book!)

8! Find insanely macabre things adorably endearing.

You must ESPECIALLY read this book if:

You play or claim to live along the alignment of a Lawful Evil.

So. With that being said, I really adored this book. This is the second book of Mordicai's I have read, his first being Wil O' Wisps & Other Illuminated Manuscripts, (as if that wasn't enough to get my crusty undies in a bunch what with his terribly clever & innovative use of face icons from them oldskool Word Perfect programs as a means for Wil O' Wisp communications) which was a winning NaNoWriMo participant from the year before Watchtower Gothic.

If anybody knows anything about Mordicai (of which I know very little, but the little that I have gathered from faithfully reading his most excellent blog) they would know that he has a knickety knack for making the Darkness adorable. Delectable. Irrrrresistable. There is only one other kat in this world that I know of has that ability over me & that is Neil Gaiman. & honestly? Mordicai kind of tops him in my book. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am all up on The Sandman's tip. & all the fuck over Silas from The Graveyard Book. But dear sweet Gillick Bootblack! I can't decide if I'm going to love you more as the preteen Alpha you once were, or the most notorious Blackhearted war criminal of all the Known Worlds & beyond!

So there is that!

Now that I've gotten that outta the way, let me just say that these two visual/audio companions stuck with me all throughout. & if anyone begs to differ please don't hesitate to steer me in the more clarifying direction?


& then ...


Yeah. There is this Alizarin Red character, most charming & in a wheel chair. You know ol' Mordicai has got something in his pocketses, BUT WHAT IS IT?! Wait & see, WAIT & SEE. She is beautiful in a most terrible & beautiful way. & this is one of Gillick Bootblack's (the main man of the story) companions in this adventure.

Then you have Blondie. I switch back & forth all throughout the story on who is my favourite, but I do believe my heart belongs to her. As I've mentioned before! SHE USES CURSE WORDS SO APPROPRIATELY! But that is not the point.

I have a hard time pinpointing this. Not only in Master M's book, but in all books. I miss the point cause I get caught up in the adventure. But here is what I am guessing at?

Gillick, my main man, is like, an Alpha? Which is a language I'm not too keen on due to my parents sheltering me & my kin from too much exposure to the land of magicks, but I'm guessing is one bad ass creation of race.

He is in this Watchtower of sorts, in a realm where the Unity works strictly together to better this realm, use the bones of what the inhabitants of the past have been forced to reckon with & make the most of it's leftovers. Gillick is in the aftermath, the Unity's attempt to make the world a better place? He grows up in a sort of alchemist's foster home, learning the lore & this first book discusses the charming childhood of Gillick, before he became known as "A Most Notorious War Criminal of all the Known Worlds & beyond".

He ventures out on his birthday to meet up with his two newly acquainted pals Alizarin & Blondie, with nothing but his good natured but carefully calculated intentions on his shirtsleeve.

An Aleister Crowley-ish kind of dude in charge of the haunted house takes them the way for the rest of their ride, as they decide to celebrate at The Carnivale of all the lovely places in the Urth!

There is sort of an "alluding to" of what might have happened in those last few moments they shared in the haunted house the 3 companions agreed to walk through together, but it isn't til the very end that you get any idea of what truly takes place. To bridge that most questionable of gaps is letters...

...Letters from Gillick to Blondie to Alizarin & back. As they part ways the particular Carnivale events seems to me the tie that bonds them, all along they speak of it very vaguely, only teasing the very itchy spot you want so badly to scratch in wondering just what the heck happened in that creepy haunted house to the 3 of them.

The letters exchanged at first seem daunting when you see that they go on til damn near the end of the book, until you realize how adorably important they are in further mapping out the "true" nature of Gillick in all his intentions.

Revolution is his name friends! Docents? Citizens...? Yeah. So Gillick applies his previous knowledge attained from his schooling as a potential alchemist & combines it with the worldly experiences that he, Alizarin & Blondie share to attempt a global upheaval of the functioning society as we know it, linguistics being (as far as what I took of it as least!) a top fucking priority.

& you can totally see where Gillick is coming from in all of this. You hear him question Blondie's motive in her eagerness to swear like a truck driver, & he is so goddamn careful to choose his own words. Something I kind of see emulate itself in Mordicai as well.

Either way, he is a decent fellow, that Mordicai dude, & I'd recommend this book to anyone who digs the aforementioned, because it is just THAT FUN OF A READ.

Also! Stayed tuned for a possible Book 2 in the Watchtower series next NaNo!

Out of sorts!

(Apologizing beforehand for any weird timeframe mistakes, I wrote this particular entry before I did Mordicai's book review but wanted to make sure I put that up ASAP.)


Anniversary week! Last week? It was fun! OH so FUN. Snookms & I didn't even have much money to play around with either, but it was prolly the best anniversary we've had yet.

I think it has to do with how close we've become over the years, 14 years... We were able to get over that hump that makes us feel like we were robots instead of lovers, & after that everything has been TITS for us. We can joke with each other like we used to, feel free to share our opinions with one another & not have to be afraid of judging. I love how we can have a casual conversation about masturbation one minute & work the next. It is great.

All day long I had been craving the salad/potato(e) soup combo from Panera so that is where we set out to go once Snookms got home & showered. They didn't even have potato(e) soup that day! FAIL! I guess I should've been more keen to the whole soup o' the day thing, but whatever! I was so dissapointed. But I settled for some cream of chicken thing. & then they even forgot to put the cheese crumbles in our cobb salads so I had to ask for it, it is what gives the salad the kick that makes it worth even buying in the first place. Otherwise it is just a ... bacon salad?

After that we headed to the Sprint shop; Snookms had a fancy Blackberry his brother gave him, he had mentioned getting his service switched from his dinosaur phone to that one, so I was like, Heck ya! Go for it! Since I already broke my Palm. So we get there & he has it turned on in MY name! Whoa? No way, Snookms you spoil me with phones! So that was part of the anniversary present I guess? & it was a present to him too because he didn't have to pay anything for it. & if you are going to find a Snookms Weak Spot, the wallet is where it will be EVERY TIME.

So after that fun was over (I have unlimited texts now...w0000000000t) we headed back out to Metropolis. Drove past the barber shop Snookms goes to & he mentioned needing his hairz did so I told him to go for it. So he did. HE NEVER LETS THEM PUT GEL IN WHEN THEY'RE DONE. Why?

Headed to Rue 21 when he was done there & I bought a Juno-esque looking plaid summer dress on clearance for 15 bucks, some comfy purple work pants for 6 fat ones & a really adorable giant pewter butterfly ring. SQUEEAK. I was totally looking forward to wearing my safety pin laced boots with the dress, & some black fishnets & the butterfly ring along with the new black octopus necklace that Let-Dawg acquired for me @ Hot Topic.

Let's see...when that was done we went to the Starbux haunt that Mysty & I usually hang at & went inside this time. (We are usually outdoors & smoking?) So we sat & chatted about a buttload of stuff, mostly about him tryna get his own insurance so that he can run his own framing crew. He's been doing it for years really, just under someone else's foot. So like, hell yeah I'm gonna be supportive of that shit. Snookms was basically born with a woodchip under his ear. It was really nice to have all that Snookms to myself. Don't get me wrong, it's great to have all the kiddoes, but it's so hard to get a meaningful conversation in edge-wise with spawn interrupting you every 10 seconds.

We had to grab some cereal for the next morning so we stopped by Meijer, the nearest supermarket, to get that & some other snacks for the kiddoes. Found some adorable baby orchids & Snookms bought me one! Eeeeeeeeeeeek! So pretty. I love how they make faces at me.

Came home, put the precious spawnies to bed & elected to watch The Men Who Stare at Goats. I told Snookms he'd prolly love it, cause I had watched 3/4's of it earlier that day, so I was all jazzed about him watching it too. But he didn't like it as much as I did. That's okay though. His mancrush for George Clooney still remains.

Had some great anniversary sex & fell asleep curled up in Snookms' arms for the night.

The next day was pretty fun too, went to see The Runaways with Mysty at the Keystone Art Cinema in Castleton. I had my silent reservations with this film beforehand, just because well, you know how they hype shit up these days & it all goes south from there for me... but oh man. I fucking LOVED this movie. The opening scene shows a fucking blood clot falling from Dakota Fanning's pussy! & it only gets better from there. Seeing Kristin Stewart make out with Dakota Fanning was the icing on the Runaways cake. & Michael Shannon playing as Kim Fowley had me sighing & swooning with his, "You gotta think with your cocks!" attitude. I'd recommend this movie to anyone.

Had fun just smoking & chatting it up with Mysty afterwards. We shared a peanut butter & chocolate chip cookie from Mrs. Field's cookie shop, hadn't had one o' those in YEARS. Verrrry tasty. Then it was home sweet home.

Fast forward to Saturday, spent it @ my mom & dad's hanging out with 2 of my brothers & their spawn... Had fun playing catch up with my mom, she is a marvelous person to have for a mother? She kept threatening to take us up the the carnivale down the street in the old Target parking lot. I told her, "Wait til darkness falls! It'll be funner!" So we did! Even got Snookms & my dad to go (he starred as Keifer Sutherland from The Lost Boys). It was a total blast. I went on that rotational ride that sways yer ass back & forth til you hang all the way upside down, suspended in the motherfucking air & shit. I wasn't able to sit in the same booth as Jr. & Snookms so I had to sit with some 12 year old girl who was really cute but really scared. She had no idea what she was in store for! The whole time she is crying & yelling out, "I want my mooooooommy!" So I had to play coach & get her through the ordeal. I am getting OLDE. & mortal! Those things fuck with me now! I felt sick afterwards!

We let the spawn play some of the rip off games & they won stuff. She-Spawn aimed her shit like a champ & got a tiger in return...

Then it was home... I can't even remember what we did then? Watched something? I'll remember later.

& then yesterday! Mysty took off early from working the Big Kahuna desk @ her current place of employment to watch The Human Centipede with me On Demand. OH SNAP! So disgusting but I was hoping & expecting more? I am a sick little puppy. Sue me. But yeah, I'm already ready for the next "sequence". BFF CENTIPEDE FOR LIFE.

I also forgot to talk about Robbie's Birthday fun from like 2 Saturdays ago, but Katie has it all documented & even put the photos in a Flickr account for all ya'lls viewing pleasure. It was OH SO MUCH FUN. Robbie sent me the most ADORABLE fucking picture of himself yesterday on muh phone, & made my fucking morning with dedicating Darkness's Proposal to meeeeee. SO IN LUFF AM I.

Today it is hopefully going to be all about seeing Iron Man 2, tried to go see it last night after eating a late dinner @ El Rodeo (or 'Gooseo' as Let-Dawg & I have coined it, another funny story to share for next time!) but they were all sold out for the time we wanted to see it. The next showing wasn't till 10 o'clock p.m. & we weren't about to see a 2 hour flick that fucking late. We are olde! I nod off in theatres if it is past my bedtime, no lie!

Tomorrow/tomarrow is Mother's Day. All I asked for was an Itunes card & a banana split from the highly scarcity of awesomeness that is Baskin Robbins. I got online last night to make sure they weren't extinct & sure enough there was 3 in our area. Gotta get my Jamocha fix on! But yeah, that's what I asked for... & today, which isn't even Mother's Day! my spawn showered me in gifts! She-spawn hand painted me a shirk with the Otep logo "Art Saves" on it & Fezziwig GAVE ME his treasured clay project that had been chosen to put on display in the hallways of his school. It is a bowl, in the shape of an amber star, with green trimmings. So beautiful & original! It is my new jewelry catcher.

I'd share pictures with the group but I am still tryna figure out the whole picture thing in regard to uploading stuff online, but when I do, prepared to be spammed with muh shit fools.