The lack of a root beer jellybean can still manage to = FUCKING SUCCESS

I am SICK. The spawn are SICK. There are many traumatic elements at play in the hands of the almighty currently. But I'm still here, alive, kickin & a' breathin', SO FUCK IT I SAY.

This week has been a whirlwind of ridiculous bullshit. Today has been the icing on the feces cake.

• Took the kids to urgent care today; they have strep throat.


• Dropped off prescription request for the antibiotics the doctor prescribed.


• Took spawn home.


• Went back out to pick up prescription meds, realized my throat is really fucking sore all o' a sudden.


• "Perhaps just sympathy pains?", I muse to muh' self....


• I trudge on.


• Stop @ the Warlock's Wife's pad to borrow a 20.


• Go to bank to deposit it so Snookms has enough gas in his truck to make it home from work.


• Make it home just in time to chat w/ Let Dawg & tell her thanks again for all the Christmas Goodies before I have to head back out to pick up the Jr. from school.


• Drive once again!


• Come home.


• Feel faint. Sore throat.


• Take nap.


• Snookms awakens me.


• I feel like SHIT.


• My throat hurts when I BREATHE.


• Snookms has to leave to go see his grandpa at the hospital.


• I am here at home now, watching Riley secretly make out with some cute emo boy on Degrassi, wondering what the fuck just hit me.


• *scratches noggin*

So that is that. I'm kind've feverishly delirious right now, wanting to babble about a lot of things that don't make much sense. So bare with me.

Oh snap! Riley just head butted Savv for making a snide gay remark! #degrassihashtag!

Let's see... so um, the spawn (well, 2 of em, anyway) are on antibiotics & I'm thinkin I need to get my ass to the Minute Clinic & see if I can't get in on some of that spore action too.

There is some other pretty bad shit going on right now too, but due to the honoring of privacy I want to hold in regard to the situation, I shall remain silent until further notice.

Tomorrow/tomarrow I'm s'posed to meet up with my kiddoes' school psychologist, the speech therapist & also the school's occupational therapist @ Panera for lunch. They want to take me out to celebrate muh book! I think I might still brave the waters if I'm not feeling too terribly ill. Already I had to cancel once & felt pretty awful about it.

Got to hang with my 'baby' brother yesterday for a few. He's all enrolled in college & shit now, I am envious but I shall join him soon! Seriously considering going for some sort of counseling/mental health courses. I've always wanted to blow shit up with my mind?

After I took him back to his current place of abode I drove home feeling a sweet serenity fall upon me that I hadn't felt since I started taking herbal supplements. It was quite nice & I cried in the moment cause it was like having an old friend back in my life that I hadn't seen in far too long.

Came home to find a package from Leticia. I texted her & said she was a madwoman! What was she thinking! & THANK YOU also & of course. She said to open it now instead of waiting til Christmas so I hopped in the shower right quick & bailed the fuck out. Open the lovely Christmas packaging to find "A Boy & His Blob" for Wii, "Heavenly Guardians" for PS2, Harajuku Lovers G, & many burned copies of various cds!!! "Akon" for my baby bro," Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix "(for moi!), "Kings of Leon" (for me too!) & a Leticia medley special (for all of us fool folk!) I could not believe it!

Snookms was like, "Hey! I was gonna get you "A Boy & His Blob!" for Christmas!" Too late! He even teased & said he should've snagged the game before I got home from taking my bro back to his work release facility & wrapped it up as his own. I thought it was pretty giggle inducing?

But yes! The trouble on Blobolonia... The spawn & I have been taking turns playing off & on ever since last night, & I tell you, it is pure beauty & whim. Everything I had hoped & imagined for it to be. & also?

THIS HAS TO BE THE BEST FUCKING SPOILER I HAVE EVER HAPPENED UPON IN MY LIFETIME.

He's like, fucking Ripley & shit, only in a BLOB SUIT!!!! It is so going to be worth treating the blob like it's my bitch. "Get away from her, YOU BLooooooooooooooooB!"



Other cool & fun junk...



Currently sending chapters out of Lucifer's Scar to Mysty, Leticia, my brother whose pseudonym is Malakai, & Katie. I'm kinda cringing in my husky sized panties here, wondering how lousy they might think it is.



Also, this is my new twitter backround:



It makes me feel all bouncy & polite!

I've been tryna read up on the plethora of 'Poison Elves' Mysty's Werewolf slung me & am really digging it hardcore. I only initially started out with a Poison Elves 'companion'. I mean, wut kind of shit is THAT, right? So yeah, he quickly schooled me on what to start with, dude has an immense collection of what was once deemed "I LUSIPHUR". They don't call muh redhead awesome for nothin!

Also one other last thing! I have to say, whether he chose this as his vocation or naught, fucking Mordicai is a wizard when it comes to writing.

There! I said it!

But yeah, I'm reading his newest NaNo publication in between 'Poison Elves' breaks, & man! There's just this world inside his head that I totally get, but would never be able to put into words anyone but him could describe. I'm not like, crushing on the feller or anything, but seriously. He's pretty bad ass with his prose if you ask me. He's up there with Gaiman & Gene Wolfe in my little ol' book!

Congratulations! You have destroyed the vile Red Falcon. Take this shitty ending as reward for your 15 minute trouble.

Ohhhhh! I feel terrible! & I am not even sick!

I made the mistake of going back to sleep after I dropped Tha Jr. off at school & I am paying for it BIG TIME.

I guess I just have to face the fact that I am a night owl & work around that predisposition. Snookms & I both...

We've been staying up way past our bedtime for the past week or so; resulting in little cat naps here & there as the day wanes into our beautiful night. After we get the kiddoes all tuckered away we team up on Contra (killing about 15 minutes), make popcorn, watch old movies (Johnny Got His Gun was on AMC the other night!) & eventually meld into our own devices... It's fun while it lasts but when it's time to get back on the bandwagon? Oh boy HOWDY does it SUCK.

So I was ridiculously excited to be sitting with Snookms to watch 'Johnny Got His Gun'. It's always been on some secret 'Things I Wanna Do Before I Die' list or another. So there's one to scratch off! I loved the movie, don't get me wrong, but the whole time I am thinking, "Man, they need to do a modernization of this, that would be so awesome!" & then I realize that maybe they already have? I just know that I always say that & that I always wind up hating on the shit, so I always wind up asking myself, "Why?"

I have two of my spawn home with me currently. Tryna look at the bright side of things & see it as, "At least it's not on Christmas and or Christmas Break!" but I was not having it after She-Spawn was hacking her guts out this morn'. Sick is sick for anybody & I fucking hate it.

Currently on ch. 18 of Lucifer's Scar in the way of 'editing' process. & when I say edit I throw the term around quite loosely; more than anything I am just making sure there are no terribly embarrassing mistakes. The rest of it I am just dissassociating myself from, but still though, by the end of the day I am happy with it thus far.

Kind've sweating Christmas this year in the way of shopping for everyone. Things did not turn out as financially prosperous as I'd hoped they would, but still, each year gets subsequentially better than the next, so I am not going to bitch. 3 Christmas's ago my brothers were in the hospital for a car accident, 1 of my brothers we could not even SEE while he was getting pins & surgeries & such because he was in hospital prison/jail, & then there are other Christmases(?) I don't even want to care or think about anymore.

I thought my brother Eric was going to have to end up in the hospital over Christmas again this year too but somehow it didn't happen that way. He had an accident at work with the table saw & cut through 2 of his knuckles. He almost had to lose his index finger because the saw blade consumed so much of his knuckle bone, tendon & muscle, but the surgeon was able to come through & work his fleshy might & magic. He wound up getting 2 pins in each of the fingers that were hacked through & yesterday he had yet another surgery to have the pins removed to install ones that did not protrude from his flesh. So now the adamantium claws are all safe & tucked underneath, no?

When I first got to see him out of surgery his whole right side was slouched; they put a block in his arm! He was completely numb from the neck & down to his waist. (On his right side.) It almost reminded me of a stroke victim. But again, he's been a real fucking champ through it all, he always has when it comes to his vocation in life man. The kiddo just about broke his back when he was in 2nd grade, was told he would probably never walk again, then when he punctured his lung in that Christmas car accident they said he would never be the same. & now this? The dude is a fucking cyborg I'm telling you! I just KNOW it. I think I shall start calling him BISHOP. Not even playing around here!

Let's see... Other stuff.

Oh! 'Brothers' was a good flick. Very emotional. Spiderman made me cry. So did Donnie Darko. Not so much Padme as much as her oldest daughter, but yeah, it was a real tear fest for me. So many issues that were too close to home. But it was a good thing I s'pose? I'd definately recommend it.

I have pretty much put Castle Age & Vamp Wars on the backburner. I mean, WAY the fuck back there, where the rice & the gravy & the Stouffer's Stuffing mix get dried, hardened & forgot all the fuck about? Seriously. Mostly Vamp Wars is pissing me off because there are too many items you need to request from your clan in order to move ahead. I'm okay with that the first few times, but after awhile I just am not digging sounding like a needy vamp bitch? & also, they have this new 'portal' they've opened up where you can saunter around New York (yeah right!) but you need Blood o' the Elders to do the missions there & they make you jump through hoops just to get the shit. Sorry. I'm not that goddamned desperate for my vamp fix that I have to get on my knees & put in elbow grease for the shit. I'll just go back to watching True Blood if it gets that bad. That is about the only Vamp related thing on this earth (aside from Castlevania SOTN) that doesn't dissapoint me or piss me off.

Don't even get me STARTED on Vampire dissapointments!

But yes. It was good while it lasted. I had me my fun & that is all that matters in the end of things. I'll still dabble, but it just won't be the same.

Castle Age is a whole 'nother boring story. I still enjoy what it has to offer I guess, but I just know that I am not down for spamming everyone's Facebook page with Monster Requests. Screw that!

Oh well. Christmas is a' comin & there will be many new games to play what with the spawn's gift requests getting filled by grandparents & whatnot.

Also, I'm pretty fucking sure Snookms bought me a trench knife for Christmas. They had this purdy sleek black baby @ the flea market when we went there over the weekend to look for swords for Jr. & it was decently priced. He thought I wasn't caring or paying attention, but that is my FRONT. So we shall see?

We are talking about seeing Sherlock Holmes on Christmas Day, I dunno how it'll pan out though. But it sounds like a smart plan to me? I told Snookms not to worry about me for Christmas & that maybe we could just go see that as a family for my present, but I'm not gonna be a crybaby about things if it doesn't happen.

But FUCK! Did you see Robert Downey Jr.'s abs??? Typically I am not a sucker for the abs, but sheeeeeeeeeezus fucking CHRIST! It totally worked for ol' Julian! Ripped like a SONOFABITCH.



Hot/HOT.

Other stuff I have put on the backburner....

• Teenage Wasteland
• Dying my hair purple
• Laundry
• Reading a lot of stuff in lieu of 'Watchtower Gothic' & 'Poison Elves'
• Dusting
• A whole general slew of things that require my focused attention & effort when it comes to keeping the house in order
• Self induced orgasms
• Eating out every other fucking night
• Writing a review that will spew forth how fond I am of Adam Lowe's Troglodyte Rose

Hopefully soon SOME of these things will come back to the front & center, but what with the cold, the Holidays, the spawn being continuously sick, & my brother having a bionicle hand, I've got to reallocate my stats!

Speaking of which! Katie & I must be on the same dreaming wavelength because I too have been dreaming Snookms & I are back to back in full on RPG action. It was intense, but uh...COOL?

If only dreams came true. Snookms wouldn't be caught dead in chain mail.

All Hail Krampus!

Ugh! I'm feeling pretty damn listless for a Friday night. Typically I am face deep in reading a great book, watching a great flick, or giving a great blow job. Right now all I feel is sleepy, cranky & BORED.

I guess it's just the wheels on the bus slowing the heck down after 2 weeks of nonstop GO-GO-GO.

Also, I was without the net for like, almost 5 days & shit. As per usual, our shit got disconnected like it does every month, but I paid the bill hella quick this time, I promise! Then there was issues with Comcast getting our signal back for the internet, everything else was back though, our phone, On Demand services & whatnot. But no fucking internet, & we had to wait til Thursday before a technician could come out. When he finally did get here it took him a matter of 5 minutes to get our shit going & was kind've halfway bitching about how the phone operators at Comcast TOTALLY could've taken care of the issue over the phone themselves. HMPH?

But whatever, I'm over it. Over & OUT.

Let's talk first about the thing on my mind MOST right now.

I'm pretty dissapointed with my NaNo novel at this moment. Maybe that can explain my blase mood right now... I dunno, I just... Well, I was feeling pretty great about it, right? Didn't even look back, just kept on going. Well, today, I finally get the chance to go back & start reading it from the beginning & I'm starting feel like, "Ew, maybe this isn't as great as I anticipated it to be?" So now I'm all bummed. I mean, I'm only as far as chapter 4, but I keep dosing off while reading it & feel the need to edit every other fucking word. Which is typically fine on any other jolly ol' day, but I guess I just wasn't in the mood? Maybe my perspective just needs to be refreshed after a couple of good night's sleep. I think I've only got like a total of 20 hours in the last week? ACK.

Speaking of last week! Ooh man. What adventures, I tell you! Thanksgiving proves to be the most eventful of holidays since these past few years. I'll start with Wednesday evening, which was great fun because Snookms & I kept pretending it was Friday all night & got excited cause it was almost as though there were still 3 Fridays in a row to celebrate after that (he didn't have to work; HOLLA!) so we were being pretty silly with each other. We took the spawn out late at night & went on a Target shopping spree for turkey & all the trimmings, plus I got the remaining ingredients to make Lumpia, the filipino version of an eggroll (but way better in my opinion) & we stopped at Wendy's so I could try Let-Dawg's Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe recommendation. I was not in the least bit dissapointed.

When we got home I can't even remember what we did but I do know that Snookms & I had lots of teenager-like-sex all weekend. We've been having tons o' that lately; it's been pretty 'fun' as he likes to refer to it.

Thursday was all about preparing for my mom & dad's turkey celebrations, as my youngest brother was able to get out on a pass from work release for 10 whole hours. It was the first time in 3 years since the six of us (me, my mom, dad & 3 brothers) had been together in the same room. We did this really cheesy Team Voltron kind of hug thing & all started getting ready to cry like giant mammoth babies but I broke it up before the waterwerks could be brought down upon us. I'm like, the thankless superhero n shit.

Snookms, Spawn & I stayed there til about 8 in the eve having fun chopping it up with the families. I am pretty much joined at my brothers' hips when we see each other & we have even started considering going to the bathroom together to save on missed time with one another. I know, I know. SHUTUP.

So after we left my mom & dad's pad we headed to Mike's sister's domain, where we elected to just spend the night, we had planned this a week ago actually, seeing that Black Friday started at 5:00 am anyway & I have made it a point to accompany Mike's sister every year now as part of a tradition. To be honest, I don't really go for the sales (even though they are pretty grand) I just think it is great entertainment to see humanity at it's 'finest'. Funny thing here is that Kristi is a fucking PRO at dealing with 'tha noize' that is Black Friday. She knows all the secret mantras, passageways & tombstones to push & scoot aside! I'm tellin ya! Eastmost peninsula has the SECRET!

The spawn were really excited about us all spending the night there, they brought all their game systems & She-Spawn even brought Castlevania SOTN cause I got her hooked on that em-effer. We got their & pretty much everyone in the abode was appropriately intoxicated. I was greeted by a very staggering sister in law at the door; she had been drinking & cooking for 2 days straight & totally had the shit eating smile to prove this insanity. So not only was Mike's sister, husband & spawn there, but Snookms' dad, his step mom & some other Harley Davidson lovin neighbor who I had no idea about; & they were all plastered too. I had to go 'commando' for the remainder of the evening because Mike's dad made me piss my pants with laughter. He took turns calling every member of the household a 'punk -BIIIIIIIIIYATCH' at the top of his lungs & I just lost it when he turned to his wife & called her one too. He was ... immensely hilarious. It was pretty funny seeing him call his own son (Snookms) a 'punk biiiiiiyatch' repeatedly throughout the evening. Many other crazy conversations took place that night & Mike's dad officially knows that I want to take him home with me one night. He is seriously, pretty fucking hot for an old geezer. I am thoroughly pleased with the prospect of how Snookms is going to look in 20-30 years. Cause if it's anything like his pops, IT'S ON.

Stayed up through the evening after all the intoxicated people were vanquished, even brought my pajamas & laptop (so's I could work on Lucifer's Scar, gawud, I'm so delusional sometimes!) & typed the night away till it was time to shimmy up for the Black Friday madness.

It really wasn't bad at all this year; no waiting outside for an hour with hundreds of other irate humans, & they weren't hostile, neither were the employees. We went in, got our shit, waited in line for about maybe 15 minutes tops? & then we were on our way to the next greedy corporation. We got to Target & turned right back around when we realized the lines went all the way to the back of the store. Kristi was still feeling pretty 'electrick' so we didn't spend too much time at Menards. But that is usually our triumverate of haunts that we make a concerted effort to hit up each year; Walmart, Target & then Menards. So we did 2 out of 3. Not too bad. I was able to snag a 7 dollar Joker (yeah! I said Heath Ledger alright, WUT?!) zip up hoodie & The Phantom of the Opera on dvd for 2 dollars for my troubles, & some decent loot for Snookms & Spawn. Got Snookms the new Star Trek on dvd for 7 fat ones, The Dark Knight for 5, or was it 7? & the new Joel Nosteratu Osteen book for 9. Also bought Snookms a down pillow cause he misses the one he used to have when he was a little 10 year old chronic masturbator. There is just something that makes me feel all warm & fruity within when I know I have had something to do with bringing some semblance of that era back for Snookms. I'm like, "Here! Go take this pillow in the bathroom & masturbate like a little kid again!" Sometimes we manage to miss them lonely days, y'know?

Alright! Now, on the way home from Mike's sister's slumber partay, Snookms & I take it upon ourselves to bring (along with our own 3 mind you!) 3 of her spawn home with us. We were pretty beligerent & delirious from lack of sleep, we both had to sleep on couches, apart from one another's embrace; NEVER A GOOD THING. Well, we exchanged some pretty harsh words as a result of our misgivings. Ultimately it boiled down to him telling me that I "need to learn when to shut up" & me threatening to "throw him bodily out of the god damn car myself". I was pretty amazed at how awful we were able to be with each other? I mean, we NEVER talk that bad to each other! But alas, we eventually made up when we got home, he apologized for telling me to shut up & I said sorry for wanting to throw him out of the car. Later that night it made for some pretty dirty, knock down, drag out sex, that is all I am tryna say. I TOTALLY felt like a slut-ho. But in a good way.

Saturday was OUR turkey day, Snookms cooked an awesome 20 pound turkey but he decided to be a total jerkface & not stuff it with any onions or potato(e)s like I commanded him to. It still came out good & so did everything else & it was really nice to have our own leftovers to rummage through at midnight. After we got all of Mike's sister's spawn evacuated we elected to take a family drive downtown, listening to Christmas muzaks & admiring the giant tree that was all lit up at The Circle downtown. It was crowded down there & we were stuck in traffic for a long time next to Borders & I kept peeking in there while we were waiting & wishing we could be in there sauntering the halls & secret passageways. They even have stairs at that Borders! So I ventured to ask if Snookms wanted to park & walk there & he said okay. We had fun people watching on our trek to the two storied Borders downtown & it made me miss my Teenage Wasteland days real bad; me, Let-Dawg, a fat bowl o' the good schtuff & Haight & Ashbury for miles & miles. Those were the days yo! But I have my own days in the here & now & they are equally great.

So this Borders is beautiful. There were even places to sit & drink Seattle's Best Coffee on the stair landing; I kept picturing Mysty & I in there all tucked in one of the nook & crannies giggling away about double dongs & Marduk. It will happen one day. It SHALL happen!

Was able to talk Snookms into purchasing 'Brave Story' for me, I was really aiming for volume 7 of the Sandman series, but that was, of course, THE ONLY ONE THEY DIDN'T HAVE. So I took a gander at what Brave Story had to offer in the graphic novel section & decided to brave the waters. I've only read a couple of pages so far but it seems to me like a very child oriented story. I'm not complaining, just reporting what I've gathered so far....

I finally dug my claws deep enough into the Book of the New Sun novel that Mordicai recommended me a while back. I really can't wait till the kid's winter break starts so that I can't truly sink my teeth in, cause already I am in love with Severian's narrative. I'm at the part where his doggie is near dead & he has gone out to look for it.

Speaking of other books; I am also STILL tryna to trek my way through the rest of 'City of Saints & Madmen' AND 'The Center of the Universe'. I'm also awaiting Mordicai's ' Watchtower Gothic ' to arrive in the mail any day now. He's quickly become one of my favorite authors. (Along with Neil Gaiman, Nicola Griffith, Sexy Betsy, Jess Watsky, Kathulhu, & Miss Erica Orloff) His chronic use of the ampersand has worn off on me terribly! See????

Other good stuff....

• Our Christmas tree is up!
• I got to watch 'High Tension' with Mysty earlier this afternoon (which was off the fucking HOOK)
• She also bought me the most adorable Jesus candle holder, which touched me a whole helluva lot, considering she doesn't share my delusions. She even paired it with a black candle. I wonder if it can summon demony things? But seriously, I love it!
• Let-Dawg recommended this bomb ass poor boy recipe for canned corned beef, cut up cabbage & slivered onions over fresh rice & it was a huge hit up in heeeeyare.
• Even though I didn't make the NaNo grade, Lucifer's Scar is now officially done, done, DONE! & I will be putting it up on Lulu sometime soon for those of you (if any!) are interested in giving it a twirl.
• Jess fookin Watsky managed to find me thee most EPIC of all fucking shirks; can you say KRAMPUS little children?
• I have 45 dollars in cash in my purse that don't need to be directly forwarded to any utility billz, which is a fucking RARITY.
• Sex's new erotica tale is going to be out Jan. 1st, which I'm totally fucking jazzed about cause I been waiting to see what makes that ass tick for almost 2 years now.
• & the She-Spawn & I got our hairz did on Wednesday & my eyebrows waxed. My fluffy caterpillars now look like eccentric centipedes. Also, I look like a 'Desperate Housewife', minus the sexy element.

What can I say, she's in to malakas

I need to get on the ball!!!!

I have therapy today instead of tomorrow/tomarrow... @ 11 instead of ten. So I have a bit o' time to spare. Still though, not nearly enough as I'd like.

Went to see New Moon w/ Carmen yesterday afternoon. It was so cute how excited she was. Mostly I think she was just happy to have a day out with me, but I know seeing Edward & Bella get their pretend mack on had a lot to do with her vigor... She even wore my pretty purple Star Wars t-shirk & wore her hair down. She now considers 99.9% of the population a potential Meat Market. Scarrry.

I have one conclusion to make from the Twilight series; Edward would make an excellent Alucard. If I was a Peter Jackson I would SO be bringing Castlevania to life. Black No. 1 would have to be thrown into the soundtrack as well as LOTS of fucking. Seriously. That is just about all I could think about the whole movie. Also; EPIC WOLF MUFFINZ! Did you see how large those fuckers were? I mean, they were muffinz as big as your HEAD. *makes silly hand gestures just to get the scope*

Had great fun this weekend with Snookms too. Thursday we stayed up late & watched 'Weird Science' one of my favouritests. I was reminded of how badly I wanted Wyatt to saunter out of my kitchen in Kelly LeBrock's underwear. Triple Sigh! Snookms always giggles at the same parts I do during that movie. Like when Gary is plastered at the bar & gets all crazy with his posse just cause they asked if it was "on tha dang telephone". Ev'ry damn NIGHT! In the family jewels???? Heeheeheeeeeeeeee! Snookms is my TWIN.

We also had great fun just hanging out w/ the spawn at Barnes & Noble. Going there is a simple pleasure; we can get away with just sitting around & not spending ample amounts of money, reading, chit-chatting & drinking things that make us addicted. The spawn entertained themselves with gore mags & I finished up reading Trog Rose (which deserves an entirely separate post when I get more time; I highly enjoyed this book! It was everything I anticipated it to be & I want MORE.) whilst Snookms read magazines about Colts & How to Blow Shit Up From the Comfort of Your Own Kitchen. He's such a conservative anarchist.

Saturday evening I tried to get away with frying hamburger meat, making a pot of fresh rice & serving it as 'dinner'. Snookms was not tryna hear that though & gave me a bunch of shit for it. Mostly made fun of me & said things that made me punch him in the shoulder.

He also made me giggle when he took the plastic ring thingy for six packs of cola & told Fezziwig in a very serious tone, "Hey, David, can you place this around a duck's neck please?" instead of just cutting it up & throwing it away. He knows I get all postal on anyone who doesn't do the 'deed'. Jerkface.

I am not NEARLY as far as I wanna be on Lucifer's Scar. May not even make the mark, I don't want to be delusional about it but I don't want to give up hope just yet. The kids only go to school for 3 days this week so I may have some decent hours to crank out a few K. We shall see. I'm going from loving the story to hating it & right back to loving it again. I try not to go back too much & read what I've already wrote cause I know the shit will make me cringe .... Still though; it is what it is!

Finally got to see "House of 1000 Corpses" with Mysty, it's one of her favouritests so of course I had to see what it was all about. It was great fun & the clown makes me giggle, cause like, Pigs is Beautiful. We have our winter schedule all planned out; there will be some High Tension, I Spit on Your Grave, Slither, & lots of other goodies in store for the near future. & all on the comfort of muh redhead's couch.

Also one last thing:

H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S.

"People who bought this book also bought no other books in their entire life".

There's more, WAY MORE, but I have to go!

Encouraging the beast within....

Gah!

It's an odd time for (me!) to be posting a journal entry, but still ... times are out of whack these days.

I think things might finally be back to normal within the next week or so, relatively speaking. At least that is what I am projecting for myself.

Mysty's wedding reception was a hit. Very beautiful & elegant. Snookms even came with me & we brought our spawn. They got restless after a couple of hours & Snookms elected to take them home whilst I stayed, which was very gentleman like of him. My mom & dad were able to take me home just fine, but not before my mom could get hit on at least 20 fucking times in a row. I am just going to have to face the fact that my moms is way the fuck hotter than me. It's rather cute though, cause she is only interested in the ladies now that she has her renegade wizard snagged.

Blacks n reds painted the night, including my hands which I can't seem to scrape the paint off of. I had a blast painting the pretty white pumpkins for Mysty's reception & even carving the ones I did, but I feel like I can't move any of my body parts now. Red and black pumpkins do look adorable however.

I guess I should be working on 'Lucifer's Scar; A Love Story ' but I am just damned tired & brain dead. I've written myself into a corner which I am not going to be easily scrambling out of either, so that doesn't help. The premise is basically Lucifer before he became Fallen Star. Lucifer in all his glory. I've quite fallen for him myself, over the breadth of my words & I am now in the throes of his fell nature. He was god's first creation; god & him become lovers. Adamant lovers. Like at-one-with-the-will-of-the-lord-typed romance things. The colour scheme has become a very inherent part of setting the environment in the heavens; lust, ecstasy, purity. I've woven the concept of evolution into the tale as well. It's classified under the 'erotica fiction' genre of story telling simply because there is a whole lotta lovin goin on with not only god & Lucifer, but with all the angels of heaven. Free love, y'know? It's my preference, anyhow.

I'm starting to really grasp the concept of what I love in a protag. It's got a lot to do with encouraging one's personal best to come out in others, whether it means for the side of darkness or light. & that whole darkness & light thing, very fine line for me. It's not even so much a dynamic as 'line' for me inasmuch as it is one side coming to embrace/accept the other & not wanting to be caught up in the whole evangelistic murk of things. Whatever floats your boat man! Find that, nurture it, forge it the motherfucking flame & hit the 'slay' button. That is just my way, not the way I think I need to project upon others. But whatever! The thing here is that I love watching these small diminuitive characters be given the power over such creatures of the deep & instead they utilize that power to beef up the beast, the guardian, the protector,...Oh, you know what I mean, right?

Midna's a great example. Sebastian from Neverending Story. The Chunk & Sloth dynamic, from that Goonies flick? John Connor & the Terminator. I seriously think Gandalf & the Balrog could've had some great moments of beauty but Gandalf had to go & fight instead of converge. Boo! But still. I think mayhaps the whole Ed & Al bit from Full Metal Alchemist could be another example of what I'm possibly tryna convey here?

Here's a good one fer all you old timers.

Bodyguard, protector, call it what you may. I like it. The combined effort of brain, brawn & compassion, for whatever principle you're rooting for... if I was going to do it, that's how I would go about it anyhoo.

I still try to figure out whom is which in my personal relationships. Like Snookms vs. Me? I'm pretty sure he is vessel & I am diminiutive commander. Mysty & I, not too sure still. Just when I think I've got her to a 'T' she goes & surprises the shit outta me. Let-Dawg & I; here I am vessel & she is commander. It's been steady rock n rollin all life long....

But yes, I am rambling. I still need to recover from how busy last week was on top of my brain being fried from spewing 12k words forth from my noggin in a week's time. I really hope I can get the ol' ball rollin again; my dreams are getting plagued with too much symbolic imagery.

Speaking of which! Antichrist: watch it if you dig symbolic imagery, for that flick is chock full o' the shit. I dig it, highly. I know a handful of others that will too. I was able to order it 'On Demand' & though it was a tad pricy, it was worth it. Mysty came over & we covered up with leafy quilts & sipped on Peppermint white mochas all the while. It was very much temptation at it's finest, but I feel like Galadriel in my effort to resist, for I did not yield to the desire of my loins. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Well I must concoct creative reasonings as to why I can't nor shan't cook dinner & watch the uncut version of 'Drag Me to Hell'. I should want to fuse the two together somehow, no?

Ask Me Why & I'll Spit in Your Eye...

So I guess Specially Prepared Assorted Meats are back on the menu!

This does wonders for my life!

& don't even bother to ask me why....

The Joker's Smile.

Chaos.

Innocence.

It's all there, mingling.

& she loves ME.

& I love HER.

I am happy.

All the pieces fit.

Everything is where it needs to go.

& if we squabble again, it shan't be the end of the fucking world.

We'll ... deal.

Cause she doesn't want to give up on me

& I don't want to give up on her...

True story!

& now that that's all said & done!

Mysty is married! Hitched! Tied the knot; OFFICIALLY! I've missed her a bunch, a whole terrible lot, but, that is okay! I'm due to have coffee with her this Thursday wherein she will relay all the gorey details of her marital endeavors. I seriously cannot wait to see her. I will be demanding that she meet me donning her wedding dress. She'd better succumb!

Halloween. Hal-lo-ween! It was relaxing. Fun AND relaxing. Hardly ever do the two go together, but for me, it did. Nothing major, no goblin parties thrown until unmentionable hours of the night or witched/warlock menage a trois....

Just simple fun.

We headed out to the northo-netho region, an invitation to a beheading sent by Snookms' sister. It was her anniversary however, but her & her own were game for trick or treating with the Spawn, which I thought was way cool on their behalf. I mean, they COULD HAVE been all, "Fuck this, it's our ANNIVERSARY" right? But no, they're not all about being whiny bitches when it comes to that kind of a thing. I scat n catted about, engulfing the Fall horizon, admiring little bride zombies & Werewolves as they passed by. Adorable I tell you! They are all just so adorable!

Snookms' sister took it upon herself to make sausage chili, which was bomb ass good, nothing like I had expected it to be. I typically hate on the sausage, but Kristi really came through!

Also, she dug out her year old frozen wedding cake & it was still as darling as the day it was made. Just as delicious too.

See!

So there was that! It was definately a Fall Festivity of sorts.

This song has me all a'flutter. I just ... don't know what to do with it! Dance? Laugh? Cry? Oh hell, I'll do it all...

Other stuff.

*scratches head*

Okay, so it seems like there is more, I know there is more!

Oh! So I am going to take a minute to bitch about Castle Age. I mean, I've just summoned this Hydra, (which was a double edged sword from the start, I just KNEW it!) & straightaway I was excited but sad, kinda like when you have to eat those really cute chocolate bunnies on Easter? I was like "Yes!" but then "No!" at the same time, for I heart the Hydra. But it's also fun to have encounters with one, yes? Even if it means slaying it's five heads until they drown in a puddle of their own stinkin misery. But see, I was initially pissed when I first performed alchemy to summon it. Cause why, you ask? Everybody (and I mean E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y) and their fucking grandma-maw was summoning shit at the same time. I was like, fuck, how are we gonna slay all these beasts? Everyone is gonna want to utilize their stamina to smack their own monsters around, it's only natural... right?

So I was whining about that for a while.

Katie, unawares was all,

"Shut your pie hole & go attack the damn hydra."

& I was all like,

"Not til I have dragonbane in my pants!"

& next thing you know, on the chat log for battle engagement, she's all

"crap! I didn't know you had one too!"

But you see? Do you now see my plight? Now you know. NOW you KNOW! (& knowing is half the battle!)

So there's been alot of that going around, & also, I made the huge mistake of becoming a 'fan' of Castle Age on Facebook! No harm in that right?

Wrong!

Next thing you know I'm getting a buttload of crappy friend requests with the magic 'speak friend & enter' words of "Castle Age". Uhm, sorry? But FUCK Castle Age! It is not so important that I need a thousand strangers flooding my gates with all their "Please help me battle Cronus!" status hogwash. Y'know?

I'll readily admit I accepted enough requests to beef up my clan so that I could complete the remainder of quests left. But after that man? No way!

The Outsiders was on the other night, on Encore I think? Snookms & I stayed up to watch that. I have it on VHS, but it's such a pain to dig it out & then wrestle with the VCR. I love that movie, through & through. It's so old, but it's timeless. Few movies have the ability to capture that sort of juvenile essence so truly. I remember after watching that movie for the first time, I was like around 8 or 9 I think, maybe a few years older. I wanted to BE Dallas. Fuck crushing on the son of a gun. Everytime I slid on a jean jacket, I did it in homage to ol' Dally. That movie was so full of character. They need to make an RPG outta that bitch. I'd be Dally everytime. The other two flicks that kind've capture this same essence (for me anyway) are 'A Bronx Tale' & 'Gangs of New York'. Timeless pieces for me...

I'm jazzed about 'V' tonight. I used to watch it faithfully back in the Seattle Days. It aired on Fridays back then, & that is the day my mom & pops would usually argue to the point of my mom storming out, so we'd head over to one of her relatives house, bust out the Jiffy Pop & be on our merry way. Fucking V man! I used to pretend to tear my skin off & be an awesome lizard underneath. & Marc Singer always reminded me of Mark Hamill.

Which reminds me; I MISS BEASTMASTER! & theiving kender like ferrets!

I like, need my mama's robe so's I can pretend to be a cloak monster. OMNOMNOMNOMNOMZ.

Why Snookms is a Fell Beast & Other Tales

*sigh*

I'm tryna keep my head above the water, avoid drowning in this bullshit storm that is passing, but it's been real hard, y'know? When one thing happens, okay! Fine! I can deal, but when repeated things happen over and over and over, you sometimes just want to throw your weapon down & allow that volley of arrows to pierce your flesh & put you outta your goddamn misery already. Sheesh!

Whatever though.

Well, soon Mysty is off to Vegas to get hitched. On freaking Hallow's Eve. She is going to all the explicit haunts down there too. I'm not jealous or anything, I'll just miss her. I think she will have a blast with Werewolf. & they deserve a blast if anyone does.

I was looking at Snookms all passed out on the couch late last night (I had insomnia!) & realizing how much a fell beast he truly is. He's like, a balrog in human form, from the darkest descent. I can't help but taking pride in knowing I had SOMETHING to do with his slaying, & that he is now a trophy on my couch to gaze upon whilst he slumber. I mean, there was so much darkness in this kiddo that he can now no longer bear to look darkness in the eye. He was full to the brim with it. His whole life was covered in shadow. I love that shadow, that darkness. He teases me & claims Mysty and I are 'goth', but I tell you, he is the 'gothest' of them all folks! Just because he hides underneath a Colts hat & a pair of comfy fitting jeans, that don't mean shit. There is darkness galore beneath all that Footlocker apparel. You can see it brooding in the midnight hour. And he is mine; for me! Mine all mine...

We've been arguing like mad lately though, like, like fucking brother & sister. It's been ridiculous. None of that detrimental bullshit though, where we question our sanity & such, it's just over stupid little shit, like, "Put your fucking socks away!" Or, "I already told David he could have a soda!" or, "There isn't enough money in the bank for that!" It's been amusing but annoying. I was telling him last night about NaNoWrimo & how I was considering entering; & he said the funniest things. Like, "You should just find a book that nobody has heard of & type that in." & then I was like, "Naw, cause if they announce you as a winner that shit is known all around the world man, someone is bound to find out!" & then he was like, "Yeah, but then you'd be INFAMOUS." & I was like, "Yes, but for all the WRONG reasons" & then he came back with, "But still though, you'd have everyone's attention. And THAT'S when you come back with writing a book titled, "NaNoWrimo; Why I Cheated & Who I Cheated From"! I couldn't help but giggle about that, because that is how things seem to pan out for the infamous. He's a funny little fell beast, he is.

Our weekend was okay; didn't get to do much of anything, our fucking check is locked up at 5/3rd! I mean, I couldn't even really do groceries? Much less anything else. I'm okay with not doing things, that just fine; but when I can't even get groceries just because the bank hasn't had a chance to update their system, knowing full well the money's in there, that just makes my britches do a dance o' anger. Like, weeping & gnashing of teeth kind of shit! It was pretty annoying.

Friday the 13th was on Spike Friday night, so Jr. & I stayed up late watching it. I have to admit that it was STILL spooky to watch, even after all these years. The bad part is that I kept dosing off though, & I was worried that there would be a part that might be too intense for Jr., & I didn't want to miss it on account of my lazy ass, so I kept bolting awake all freaked the heck out. But alas, it was edited.

Jr. had to get his immunizations updated on Friday as well, which I didn't realize even needed updating; I mean he's 13 now, so I thought most of that shit was over with? But the doctors wanted to stick him full of H1N1 vaccine, DTP (tetanus & booster), MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) & some chicken pox vaccine. I was like shit! That's WAY too much? So they only gave him the first 2, but I tell you, I was regretting that decision from here on out man. It took 3 grown adults to hold him down; & not only that but boy did he scream! I was not anticipating this outcome at all! He never freaked out before, it was strange to see Tha Jr. reacting this way. He's older now, y'know? But he totally fought us, tooth & nail, & screamed like a banshee. When the doctors left the room he even cried. Boy did I feel like shit. He later accused me of being one of 'them'; of the ones that held him down. He asked me, "Why'd you do that? I couldn't escape!" I tried explaining to him that it would've only hurt more, but he was not tryna hear that.

Ah well. You live & you learn I s'pose.

Amongst all this are some good things.

One good thing is that my brother is due to be released from prison. None of our family quite know yet where he is to go from there, which is driving me up the fucking wall because I just want to be able to embrace him fully; without time constraints or rules & regulations on just how long I get to hold my brother in my arms. I've been able to visit him lots, but it just isn't the same as having his presence minus the law breathing down your neck, y'know? I even had a dream that he showed up at my front doorstep with my mom, & he was all handsome & shiny in his new clothes & new haircut. We just sat on my frumpy couch and chatted the afternoon away. I awoke from the dream wanting to cry in realizing that it hadn't come true. Soon enough I s'pose.

Other good things to report are all the awesome things that were said about our spawn when we took them to their conferences last week. Fezziwig's was first & I was nervous initially, it is our 1st in dealings with a male teacher. But he just couldn't stop talking about how good of a kid David was, & that he was a very smart boy; all that kind of a thing. At one point the teacher even looked both Snookms & I in the eyes & said, "Good kids don't happen on accident. You guys are doing SOMETHING right." That made us feel great!

Next was She-Spawn's conference, & right away the teacher handed Carmen the "A" honor roll award & said that her & her best friend scored the highest in all of the 4th grade for their NWEA testing. So She-spawn was all a flutter & didn't know how to act about it. Teacher said she was a pleasure to have in class, & get this, she says, "And oh! We have a WRITER on our hands!" I was tickled through and through....

After that was Tha Jr's @ his Jr. High. I can't get over how all the students damn near look like adults. It freaks me the hell out because it only seems like just yesterday we were changing Jr's diaper & tucking him in bed all tight & cozy like a little burrito. & now here he is rolling with the big wigs. He IS a big wig! All his teachers said so too. It was so adorable to see Mike interact with his teachers & share inside jokes & talk about things I had no clue about. It tells me he is flourishing, & all independently. I was very proud. & that teacher! The one that kept giving me shit about looking like a student; she is Jr.'s language arts teacher! Can you believe it? So right away she spotted me & was like, "Hey, it's YOU!" We started cracking up, & I'm realizing I know her. I've seen her around. Then I'm like, "You used to take your kids to the free lunch at school during the summer didn't you?" & she's all, "That's where I know you from!" We started cracking up some more & I was like, "Yeah, you were the only other mom besides me that looked like she had just woke up at noon & dragged all her kids to get lunch before it was over". She totally got me & we had our laughs. She looked at Mike & was like, Did you tell him about me? About harrassing you in the halls? & we were like, "yep, yer the one!" She's pretty sexy too, she's got this surfer chick build, very masculine, but not at all afraid to display her femininity. She's got ink on her neck in some other language & she wears mini skirts without batting an eye. I love it. She was totally supportive of Jr. & saying how great of a kid he was, just like all the other teachers said.

So all in all it was a victorious night. In a way, conference night is like a 'paycheck' for me. It tells me all Snookms & my hard work has paid off. It means a lot.

Well, I've yammered on long enough here, it's just been a long while since I last journaled. With the kids on Fall break all last week, it's no wonder all I wanted to do was lay around & watch them play Twilight Princess. They have all the mirror shards now though, so it was worth it you see?

All Around Fun!

Paranormal Activity has me a tad scared to be home alone. & the spawn have been taking it upon themselves to freak the shit outta me. Little bastards. I shall get them yet!

So yeah, Paranormal Activity was great fun all around. I enjoyed myself very much so. It also didn't help that MystyMayhem was belting out screams that would've made Phil Enselmo proud though. Her feet were in the fucking AIR I tell you!! The goddamn AIR. It was ... hilarious ...

Friday night was so much fun. It was originally going to be dinner @ El Rodeo for Mysty's bacherolette partay, but wound up cancelling due to unforeseen circumstances, but again, got booted back up & we wound up going to Q'doba for din din w/ Mysty's adorable sister & other awesome best buddy Machell.

After dinner we headed up to Metropolis to see th 7:55 showing of Paranormal Activity, you already heard all about that. But I tell you, I was fully satisfied with this film. It was spooky in all the right ways & in the end I was totally fabricating the demon to look like a naked Akem from Vampire Wars.....



Quite adorable. I was utterly reduced to fangrrl status when the demon straight DRAGGED Katie outta her bed. That was an UNFORGETTABLE moment, one I replay in my head over & over. & then the stalker/sleepwalking shit. FUCKING A!!! I heart evil Katie.

Okay, so after that, Mysty's sista' took us to Mysty's Metal Mansion so her sister could head home (she had a hot date!) & then we all stood around for a few chit-chatting w/ some of Mysty & Werewolf's pals about tripping on shrooms while watching signs & being in love with Mel Gibson & Joan Rivers banging Mel to piss Gilbert Godfrey off. It was great fun.

Finally we were off, our clan o' 3 (again! except minus Brandi candy) & headed south for Greenwood. Asylum House is one of them haunts where the actors/actresses are allowed to touch you. I'd never been, but Mysty had, so Machell & I were in for a real treat!

We found the place without too much trouble, deep deep into some woods & shit; only added to the enchantment of the night? The line was trailing out the door so it gave us ample time to smoke n chat; (a few of my favourite things?) & share spooky stories. We were pleasantly surprised by the time the line entered the actual building, & rightly so; they were playing Creepshow on a projector that cast a lovely shadow behind us! We paid @ the counter where one could purchase Depends if one felt so inclined; I thought it was pretty fucking funny at least?

So we chit-chatted away the midnight dreary until it was finally our turn to 'go'. We were given the rundown of what the Asylum had to offer & then we were on our merry way.

Right away I was screaming pansy style; they made me be in front! There was this point where you had to wear 3-D glasses passed out by an adorable Chuckie (he/she was like, only 10 or so prolly?) & had to walk this 'Through the Looking Glass' kind of bridge & I was stumbling around like a drunkard because of the awesomeness of the effects. It was great.

All in all, I say it was worth the 17 dollars admission, it got to a point where I was like, "Damn, this thing STILL ain't over?" but I didn't really want it to be anyway.

I think one of the more poignant moments of the evening is when we were being chased by a 7ft tall Jason character & suddenly Mysty is asked "Are you Mysty?" You hear this beautiful feminine voice eminating from 7ft of terror & Mysty just stops in her tracks & is like, "Um, yeah?" So this character unveils herself & says something like, " I know you. That is all".

I dunno. It was a turn on, cause like, even the demons speak of her name, Mysty is that legendary. I always pick the awesome ones?

Such a beautiful night. I also owe Mysty a pack of Newports, she supersurprised me @ the gas station when I was wrestling with the ATM machine (stupid machina!) & had my hard pack purchased all along. Such sweet destruction.....

I made my way home through the night & came home to a boat investigation Snookms & one awake Spawn. They were all giggles & pranks so it made the night even sweeter. The other 2 spawn were fast asleep (the Jr. had an 8:30 chess tournament in the morn' which went awesome btw!) so Snookms & I had our fun & giggles terrorizing the Awake One whilst it tried to slumber. He finally got fed up & started batting emptily at the air around him, which in turn induced a MASSIVE amount of laughter on Snookms' & I's behalves. (Is behalves even a WORD?)

But yes, a great way to end the night.

The next morning Snookms woke up early to take tha Jr. to his chess tournament, so the other 2 spawn & I lounged around in the living room all morning & well into the afternoon under leafy quilts; they let me speak of Paranormal Activity & I told them EVERYTHING about the movie while they listened intently & were appropriately frightened. Then we elected to play Twilight Princess while eating leftover junk food from my movie ventures the night before. Twilight Princess is heartbrakingly beautiful on HD, which we only have in our living room, but I am telling you, it is a sight for sore eyes people! The spawn wanted to show me all the latest gadgetry they had accumilated since the night before while I was gone & it was awesome. They were able to get the Master Sword & they can now transform into Wolf Mode whenever they like.

Fezziwig had a b-day party to attend @ 1:30 so we started ungluing our tushies from the couches & headed to Walmart to get his pal a gift. We're skulking about in the electronics section when lo & behold; what do I see??? 'A Boy & His Blob' for Wii!!! I about crapped my pants in amazement, I was so dumbfounded. That was one of my all time fav NES games to play, it had such an enigmatic appeal to it, the questing, the discovery, definately a 10 or 11 on that sort of scale in my personal opinion, & then here they have a stunningly beautiful remake of what you had originally been picturing in your mind all along. It's a game where you have this faithful & loyal blob following you around everywhere & all you have are various flavoured jellybeans to help aid you in your quest. Depending on which jellybean you feed this cute little thing, it will change into different items, like ladders, or holes in the ground, or trampolines, or even, (my personal favourite!) a ROCKET! So like, that was in the old version, right? But yeah, I'm hoping in the new version they won't forget the Root Beer Jellybean, cause dammit all ta hell, I wanna see some rocket action Wii graphics style!

I currently don't have 40 fat ones to blow on a game, but let me tell you, I will be saving every penny for this little bitty. It is my new PRECIOUS. We wantssssss it.

So after all that cajoling about at Walmart, we dropped Fezziwig off at Jump n Play & my She-Spawn was hella jealous of all the fun that Fezziwig was to be having. So I placated her with El Rodeo for lunch & then afterwardz promises of pummeling through the Halloween section of Walmart. So we did & it was fun.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing (mostly on my behalf) & boat building (yes, Snookms really DID build a motherfucking BOAT!) I took a 2 or 3 hour nap & woke up to a boat in my front yard. I was ... beyond shocked. It looked freaking amazing, but of course, that is the Way of the Snookms, everything that is produced from his effort is; but I was totally taken aback at how fast he works his might & magic. He was kinda pissed though I guess, cause when he tried to remove the boards he'd screwed in the middle of the boat (to bow the wood?) it cracked the front of the boat, so he had to make a quick run to Menards to find fix for it. So while he was gone the spawn & I scampered about the boat & took pictures:





& then here is Snookms with the 'final' product:



Pretty great, ya?

I say 'final' cause he still actually has alot to do with it; like seal it with stuff I have no idea about & other little details that I don't get, but he does, so it's all good. I am so in awe of Snookms' skill. *pets pretty Snookms' head*

Later that evening I made pumpkin sugar cookies & we "tried" *tried, TRIED, TRIED* I tell you! to rent 'Phantasm' off On Demand, but apparently we suck, cause On Demand wouldn't let us. So I puttered around miserably & we just sorta sat around & boat admired & stuff.

The next day we all went to the punkin patch with my bro Eric & his little spawn & Snookms mama wound up showing up at the last minute with 2 of Snookms' sister's spawn, so it was a lot of family fun. Snookms found the biggest punkin, like EVAR? & then manage to drop it due to *ahem* 'gorilla glue on his hands that he had to use on the boat last night & that managed to get stuck on his hands & make them slippery' but the punkin didn't bust! It did, however, bust the other little punkin it landed on, so boo on that. But it was pretty hilarious.

So we now have our purdy little family o' 5 regarding the punkin biz, & I am wholeheartedly contemplating a Dream carving for mine. It's kinda hard to find Dream in his masked apparatus, but that is the Dream that I am dreaming a little Dream of, so we shall see. I brake for a masked Dream, y'know????



*credit goes to: ~Soulshriek

Writers that I actually give a fuck about what they're saying

This post has long been formulating in this little noggin o' mine.

I guess I'll start with Sex.



Yep. Sex Scenes at Starbucks.

I started stalking her keen writing style a year or so ago. Seems like it's been way more than that. I would read her blogs, in awe of her honed skill, imagining what it would one day be like to actually be brave enough to leave a comment. I was in awe of her ability. Taken aback by her honesty, her ability to wield her words with such might.

I even ventured to imagine what it would be like to be one of the lucky ones on her blogroll. My fantasies run deep y'know?

I'm ridiculous when it comes to my hero worship. Broken you say? Hell yeah I'm broken enough to worship people. Profiles that are not easily profiled intrigue the SHIT outta me. Sex is one of those cats.

Today, a year and some odd months later, I'm at the top of this kitty's blogroll, labeled as her 'stalker'.

Cause, yeah. That's what I am. I stalk what I like. I look up details, find useless information & collect it for my personal amusement; use it to further my knowledge in the area of their happenings. What makes them tick; what makes em don't, if you catch my drift?

I s'pose the deciding factor here of whether or not I choose to pursue my little obsessive ways with these small handfuls of 'writersthatIactuallygiveafuckaboutwhatthey'resaying' is whether or not, given the new set of information I have in my grubby little paws, indeed CAN be fit into a profile, or rather, a 'demographic'.

The winners are usually the ones that don't. Can't. Won't.

I like that. I like my enigmas to stay enigmas. I enjoy having something to figure out. I may not like every single thing about you, but if I can't fit you into a neat little category so easily, I definately have my fun trying to analyze & figure you the hell out til I can.

If I can't, well all the better for you if you like being on my covetous 'list'.

So yeah. Sex is a writer that I actually give a fuck about what they're saying. Mad props to you lady.

She is working on an SF novel titled SILVER SCAR. I am anticipating the FUCK out of the completion of this. The premise, the characters, her ability to make these characters come alive, the wrestling of affairs. I see this as something on the verge of BIG. Like big BIG.

If it falls into the right hands.

It needs to find the right master. To put it out there just like she wants it to. I foresee action figures being erected in the future of this. Castile & Trinidad in battle mode, Castile & Trinidad taking bed with one another (what? a girl can dare to dream, can she not?) & like, cute little weapons to don said characters & such.

I'm anticipating such greatness here, & this is why:

"SILVER SCAR is Science Fiction. I'm striving for some other features, like gender-bending, a thriller format, and religious themes that're sure to piss folks off, but at its heart, it's SF. I doubt I'd market it another way. "

& that's straight from the horse's mouth yo.

There is so much more, but if you wanna know more, you'll have to do the diggin on yer own. I've got a few others I wanna shine the light on here. :)

Adam Lowe.



I met him via Ozymandias, a google group formed awhile back with Kelley Eskridge & Nicola Griffith being the creators of said group. We had our 'fun' throwing ideas around & getting to know one another somewhat; the group itself is at somewhat of a presumptious 'end', hasn't had any thread action for quite some time now.

But what I came back with was another handful of entities that intrigued me with their passion, their creativity, their ability to redefine what most like to classify and put into groups and categories.

Adam is of that handful that refuses (whether he elects to do this or not) to fit into the 'mold' everyone seems to want to encourage others to surrender to & I continued to follow him around like a lost little puppy, excited to see where his projects would land.

Troglodyte Rose is one of them.

Here is a juicy little rundown of why I have chosen to silently stalk him as well...

This is an excerpt from the book:

We are inside Hell. How can I describe it any other way?

I can feel the fires of the glass works. I can smell the sulphurous breath of our chthonic gods.

I live in squalid darkness and breathe filthy air.

My name is Rose and I’ve never seen the sky.

& then, if you aren't intrigued enough by that, here's some mo':

WHO IS TROGLODYTE ROSE?

Troglodyte Rose is the new dark fantasy novel from Leeds author Adam Lowe. Set in an undetermined far future where mankind lives underground, enslaved by their own, more evolved descendents, the psychic Limbids, who live in a vertical city in the world above. Rose is the anarchic heroine, who blusters into the narrative with a gun and a bad attitude, accompanied by her hermaphrodite lover, Flid. Tiring of running from winged troops of genetically engineered monster-police, and sick of an economy that relies on slavery and cannibalism, she and Flid spend their days wallowing in computer games left over from a previous, lost civilisation and taking every high they can get their fingers on.

At rock bottom they try the most dangerous, illegal drug of all: the legendary Haze. They soon discover the real reason why it is illegal: the Limbids themselves rely on its mind- and reality-altering powers to fuel their own psychic abilities. And with the Haze in their grasp, they can journey to myriad alternate universes, meeting talking dragons, swimming amongst the sunken ruins of New York and rescuing alien princesses from eternal slumber.

But soon even that's not enough. Rose wants to see the sun. She wants to make a difference. So assembling a ragtag band of fugitives and liberals, she resurrects an old plot to overthrow the oppressive government and escape to the world above. Can she defeat the Hegemon and escape the Justicar beasts chasing her? Read and find out.

& now that he's got your attention, go get you a copy!!!!!

Troglodyte Rose is due out in limited edition hardback (100 numbered copies) 30th October, priced £13.99, and is available from all good bookshops, or direct at troglodyterose.com. It also features six pages of full-colour artwork from award-winning TOR/DC Comics duo Kurt Huggins and Zelda Devon, which can also be viewed at the fully-interactive website . Paperback version available Spring 2010.

I've already reserved a hardback, autographed edition, & I humbly await it's pages to be turned, nestled in my lap along with a Peppermint White Mocha & Electric Wizard playing as white noise in the backround.

So like, THAT'S the kind of shit that I dig. That's the kind of shit that makes me world go 'round.

One last little rant. Promise.

My Redhead.



My Blue Eyed, pale faced Mane of destruction.

She has me wringing my hands in anticipation. All the fucking time.

She is not a boaster. She doesn't come aloud with wizardrous might to brag of her steadfast virtues & ability to make you devoid of all you once were, even though she can.

The Protector in Her burrows deep. It reigns in a plane of existence not well known to this realm. It is a Deity in it's own right & makes Chaos it's left hand of Destruction. It is slow to anger, yet quick to praise. But I will tell you right now, do not anger this Protector. It's portent is of the Unknown, & still waters run tragically deep.

You get a sense of legendary status here, in knowing this part of Mysty. Her quiet observance can sometimes be mistaken for nonchalance; perhaps even lack of interest in some cases?

Little do you know, she has taken care to collect every facet, every fragment of your essence, & concocted along with it her own recipe in a vial that will always be the poison, the bane of your existence if you dare to make a false move against Her.

That is her way. & I love Her way. Her astute observation.

I awaited her permission to repost this.

She obliged most willingly & I was more than delighted to be able to share with the world how amazing she is.

She sent me this in an email the other night & it struck to the core of my heart & made me rethink life in a way that I thought I would never've thunk it.

I love people that can do that to me.

it is raining steadily when we rush out of the movie theatre.
it's close to midnight, the witching hour they say. we're giggling
with abandon as we scurry down the concrete ramp toward her car.
fog clings to the lights planted in the ground along the path.
it hangs suspended in the air, heavy and thick ~ like my lust for her.
we are all soaked, she the only one without a jacket. the thin
grey top she's wearing offers no protection; but offers my greedy
eyes a veritable feast.
despite the wet and the chill, she runs to the passenger door and unlocks
it so i can seek refuge from the rain first. such chivalry, always
the gentleman.
i lean over and unlock her side. she jumps in, shivering with the cold.
she busies herself lighting a cigarette, and i stare. absorbing all
of her that i can. tight black curls seeping with rain. droplets snaking down
dark golden arms. her face dewey and soft, as i imagine it might be when
she is sexually satisfied.
i'm dying to touch her. to reach out and feel the soft slant of
her purple rimmed eye. to trace a finger down the soft flesh of her arm, following
the rain as it drips down to her thighs. to wrap my hands full of those
curls. to feel her.
i shake from my daze and try to fight off the hypnosis she unknowingly wields
over me. i look out the window into the darkness and think only of the starshine
in the car with me.
and live to love another day.

A Narrative Means to a Sober End?

So I've elected to volunteer for this new 'training' method that my therapist wants to try out.

It has to do with flashback moments, for the sufferers of PTSD. I guess like, when a traumatic image surfaces itself in one's mind? Well, my therapist is working on this EMDR method, where there is a sort of 'healing' that takes place in that visual moment of relapse, using a bilateral approach as a distraction from the negative thoughts that have a tendency to automatically occur when hit with a wave of pictured trauma.

In whatever session we elect to do this 'training', I will choose an image which causes trauma, & from there we work together to speak aloud of this trauma, identifying all the negative labels I have put upon myself in correlation to this image, & while I am doing this she will be using whatever manipulatives to visually distract me while I am experiencing all of this. Then we will seek to redefine what positive things I could say about myself in that traumatic moment, kind of retraining my mental & emotional response to see the image as something positive vs. negative.

I guess in a way it smacks a tad of hypnotism? I asked what exactly is the theoretical purpose of the bilateral technique in all of this & she came back with the hypothesis being that if one can distract the sufferer visually, that the sufferer can then not only learn to focus on more than one thing when experiencing the trauma, but that they can also enable the part of the brain & emotional response that involuntarily acts in these moments of distress to behave in a more voluntary manner.

She explained that sufferers of PTSD have a tendency to automatically react the same way over & over when struck with a traumatic memory, disabling one's ability to benefit from the sitiuation most optimally.

To me it makes perfect sense.

It reminds me a of a post that Nicola had done quite some time ago in regard to PTSD & the playing of Tetris & how studies had shown that sufferer's symptoms seemed to have improved with the use of playing this game. Why, I asked then? Well my conclusion is that it goes with that whole visual distraction bit, & that your brain is retraining itself to react differently in moments of trauma & stress.

We shall see.....

Today is a rather strange Today. I feel unstable, nervous, shaky. Too much caffeine perhaps? It seems more than that though....

Snookms was a sweetheart & came home with a surprise gift last night after work; The Breakfast Club (Flashback Edition) on dvd. All this time I've been watching it via VHS, like when I cook a meal that requires lots of preparation (I have a tiny tv/vcr combo in my kitchen) so it was quite a pleasure to receive this gift from Snookms. We stayed up late together watching the commentaries for each character & this pleased me on various levels because this is typically something Snookms pretends not to care about. I seriously think he harbours a secret crush for Bender, for he is the Protector I see inhabiting Snookms every now & again?

But yes, Snookms & I giggled & snickered & I even think he was pleasantly surprised to see how hot Ally Sheedy still is. He kept asking "Who's THAT?", like he didn't already know or something? It was pretty cute!

Bender got pretty fucking ugly. Oh well.

Been receiving the most beautiful art courtesy of Jason, the artist for my Teenage Wasteland project. He pumps out about a drawing every 2 weeks. He'll first send me the pencilled version & then the inked version. I am telling you, it makes my heart go 'thumpthumpTHUMP!' The Echelar is so fucking goregeous with it's curls & furls of tentacle, & he makes Gyn SO FUCKING DARLING to look at. It is everything I had wished for this project to be visually. I wish I could share each drawing as they come, but I don't really know how wise that would be? We will see....

So 'Marley & Me' is playing as white noise right now on H.B.O. & I just heard the most amazing cover of Nirvana's 'Lithium'.




This could turn my whole day around?

Werewolf/Wizard Libraries & Other Such Fun....

Hmmmmm!

It's been an interesting few days.

Right away I will have to admit, my heart was far more crushed than I had realized with this whole 'ordeal' I've been trying to surf my way out of.

2 nights ago I began to unfold all the detailed events of what took place in the last week to Snookms. The whole time my voice was wavering on that thin line of resolve & breakdown. I hadn't realized how much I had truly been hurting until I heard the catch in my own voice. I began to speak out loud about how my voice was doing that kind of a thing, and in that I broke. I began sobbing pretty uncontrollably, telling Snookms how much I cared about this woman, she had been in my life for so long. I kept remembering all the adorable pictures she would send me on my phone, her donning an venti Iced White Mocha, with that gesture of invite, whispering, "Come, let us dine together". Other pictures were beautiful too, ones I can't bring myself to look at, for it crushes the resolve I have created in this little chest of mine, to keep the hamster wheel rolling. T'uh! I even TOLD Snookms about these pictures while sobbing and how I kept thinking of them and wanting to scratch my eyeballs out because I just feel like I am never worth anyone's trouble.

The previous post is nearly 18 years worth of hurt spilled out in a matter of 6 or 7 small paragraphs. There was so much pain I just couldn't hold in anymore. It was eating away at my insides, like some sort of Tom Green testicular cancer. So I had to let it go.

It's like a true breakup, I can't even look at S.P.A.M. or glazed donuts without wanting to break into a steadfast run, hide in the bathroom, curl up on the floor next to someone's ill aimed piss & sob like a fucking toddler.

It's the little moments that get me.

On the surface, I am A-OK!!! I eat, sleep, drink & shave without a second thought to any of it. But again, catch me in a momentary lapse of reason, & you will see the cracks and small fissures.

I will be okay. More than okay. I just hope this is not something indefinate. I don't know any other way it could possibly be though, she has one fiery temper, and I, I hold grudges for fucking EVER & never say so. So what dreams may come? Who knows....

On the lighter side of things, the past 24 hours have been pretty amazing.

Yesterday I picked Mysty & Brandi up @ the metal mansion & off we headed to the northo-netho region to hear Mysty's pal Wuki drum for his new band. InaDaze??? I think that is what it was called? Well, I was pretty surprised at how well the music sounded, Mysty kept forewarning, "This is a ROCK band guys." So we were expecting less? They were 8 out of 10 on a rock band scale. Typical rock, stuff you'd hear from a band that was backing up say.....I dunno, Nickelback? Mysty says typically her pal Wuki drums for a more core sounding kind of rock & that he is one tight fucking drummer. I had no disagreements there!

But yeah, after their band played this one man band came up. At first our clan o' 3 were taken aback by this guys standoffishness. His voice was brave and bold in the way that you at first think shouldn't be, very off key and whiny. He was telling stories in his songs though, and I am always a sucker for the story. I eventually chocked him up to a "Ghetto version of John Mayer" except maybe even better. Brandi even ventured to call him "John Mayer from the Hood!" It was right! He sang of smoking people, & it was beautiful & off key in all the right ways. I never DID catch his gimmick though, I was too busy pissing every 5 minutes. Marm!!!

After he was done we headed back out to the Wessssstsiiiiide! & saw 'Whip It' @ Metropolis. It was a 10:10 pm showing, so there were only our clan o' 3 & 2 other Ellen Page fanboys/men. Cause they were old? Like not OLD old, but like, probably the kind of fellers that you'd see hosting 'Rotten Tomatoes' or 'InfoMania' on Current T.V.

The movie in a nutshell? Cute. Very cute. Juliette Lewis was top fucking notch; I don't care how flat she is. She is still fucking GOREGOUS. The lack of bosom for this woman only further adds to the allure for me. She is drill sergeant goregeous. Drew Barrymore wasn't as hardcore as I was hoping to be, nor was Ellen Page, but we DID get to chester the HELL outta the giant Ellen Page props outside the theatre. I tell you, I am bringing the SEXY back into mongoloid, because that is what 99.9 percent of my photogenics are equivalent to.

Mysty was being naughty with her camera phone & taking pictures she shouldn't have and we both died of laughter for it. I am still paying for it today with a cough from hell. Too bad she deleted the photo, it would've been outstanding in a bribe.

Today I awoke to the most pleasant of tweets, so I was one happy camper all morning long, looking forward to this Repo! madness. It was more amazing than I had contemplated so, & I usually contemplate such greatness & always pay for my high expectations. This was not one of those cases. I am kind of angry that I did not know about this rock opera sooner? A faceless Paris Hilton is kind of a dream come true?

After that was over I skimmed Werewolf's (Mysty's Other Half) library collection & was coveting the fuck out of it. Dune series, Conan series, 3rd Reich kind of shit & Stairway to Heaven kinds of things. It was a Wizard's Library, & I told him so. I wanted to remove his shelf fully & run away with it to far off lands. To be married to this shelf! For real!

Tonight is new ep. of Degrassi the Next Generation, so I must prep accordingly. Hopefully more 'Pushing Daisies' on Hulu later on, possibly some 'Glee'?

The Dull Flame of Desire

Definately what's in the cards for today. For yesterday. The day before. & even the day before that.

Getting your heart broken by a woman when you too are a woman, there is a tantamount of difference in this versus getting your heart broken by the opposite sex. You feel, I dunno, betrayed by your own kind? Like you are of the Fallen or some shit. And hey, I have no qualms with being Of the Fallen, okay? Let's get that straight right here and now, but the sting of that rejection, you just can't walk away from it without feeling like you've lost one of your more important playing cards.

I mean I coveted this bitch, like, for what seems like, an Eternity? I wooed her, allowed her to transcend my imaginings nightly, daily, for very many years. I secretly sweated her namesake into the fabrics of my sleeping quarters. She fucking had me by the balls for so many years.

Put plain & simply, I was her Bitch. Her real live Bitch. & I wanted to be her Bitch. I took pride in that. Boldly. Beautifully. Elegantly. I was the Right Hand to this Throne of Nonsense. But after so many years of being away from that elemental, like 15 years to be exact?

Well, I had time away to think about a lot of shit. I was safe from the bewitching of Green Eyes & the Joker's Sneer. Innocence mingled with Chaos was no longer a friend of mine. I let her go, for other things. Better things. Red Manes of Destruction with the cold hard steele of Blue Eyes & Virtue to take precedence over the things I once sought out to be grand entrance. Minotaurs that look like Iguanas when they slumber, with chocolate brown eyes & a desire not to fuck me on a first date had shown me; not just told me,

THAT IT WAS OKAY TO NOT BE A MARTYR.

After years of washing myself completely of this s'posed Bitch Mentality, I thought I was strong enough. Brave enough to wield the power that she once had over me. I thought things could be 'different'.

Somehow...better.

Maybe one day, but today ain't that fukkin day Jests & Squires.

I feel the Dull Flame of Desire; for things no longer plausible.

There should be more pain, but there is not. I want it, knowing I can no longer possess it, that she can no longer possess me, but it is like that of a passion long burning, the flame catching it's death, it's wear and tear of shining brightly for so goddamn long.

The Blanket of this Nebula has long misguided me.

It has been replaced with the Harmony of Flesh-Fashioned Passion that walks in the Name of the Fey; & Blue Eyed Virtue that spits Fire from Her Mane.

I need not the sting of her pain to realize that...

that I am...

~Alive~

She says she "has done nothing but open her heart to me...All her life thats all she has shown me was her love and some how I manage to break her heart time and time again!!"

I tell you what audience.

I will be going as "The Girl Who Could Never Do Wrong" for Hallow's Eve.

Warning:This is a Boring Journal Entry!

Apparently there is an increase in our discovery of the Super Human Race Life Form:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091005/ap_on_he_me/us_med_autism_how_many

Not news to me, but still, it is exciting to see that more and more cases are being diagnosed. It means more help, more of a desire to understand, all that good stuff. I am glad.

It's been a ridiculously exciting past two weeks. I think the 'start' of all the fun was seeing 'Jennifer's Body' 2 Thursdays ago with Mysty. I mean, I was anticipating greatness, but it was more than I had hoped for.

I have no Diablo Cody complaints here; there was girl on girl action with Evil Dead shirts involved, epic lake swimming demon scenes with 'The Sword' playing as it's environmental factor (although in my head it was 'Electric Wizard' all along) & Adam Brody playing a role he should totally stick to. I was delighted from head to toe the whole time.

The following weekend of that Thursday I can't even remember, for the amazingness of this particular weekend far outweighed the amazingness of any other. It was like a great Black Sun of Wonder, blotting out all the lightness other events, making the greatness of them pale in comparison to others.

I am so easily pleased!

It started with our usual Hour of Mayhem on Friday; man it was Windy! With a capital "W"! It was so Windy that everyone @ Starbux accused us of being crazy for setting out to smoke&drink outside. But that is what we are! Don't they know us by now? The Wind forced Mysty to conceal her flaming red mane of destruction in the cover of her black "I Spit on Your Grave" hooded sweatshirt, & mingled with that HotPinkEyeShadow, I tell you, it made for a delightful view in the conversation.

We went our separate ways; hers leading to a path of ultimately seeing Zombieland, mine towards a Chose Your Own Adventure Medley of Haunted Hayrides with Snookms & Spawn.

Everything went as I had hoped & dreamed & played out in my own imaginings throughout the previous weekend; Snookms was engulfed in that charismatic grin I fell in love with 13 years ago; the Spawn were appropriately spooked but not too much! Snookms even dared to venture with Tha Jr. to the Phantazmagoria Haunt & got chased with chainsaws. You could see the 2 of them, hand in hand, clotheslining lovers embracing just for the fun of getting away! It was pretty great?

There was a bonfire & music, but it was music I didn't care about; it always is, according to the cashier of the refreshment stand. He looked equally displeased about the choice of music as well. I mean, it's fine if there are gonna be genres, that is A-o.k. with me, but like, mix it up a bit at least? Pretty please? I don't want to hear Flo-Rida ALL night long, whether my Spawn like it or not!

The night ended well, we made our way home referring fondly to some of our more favorite parts of the night.

I came home & found more artwork in progress from Jason in regard to Teenage Wasteland awaiting me in my Inbox; played catch up on Vamp Wars, read some of 'Lucifer The Divine Comedy' (finally!) & fell asleep snuggling to the scent of Snookmses' back flesh.

I am in this school of firm believin' that Snookms' flesh has healing components embedded into it. I mean, like EVERYTIME? Every, single, freaking TIME I am sick, all I have to do is inhale deeply of his Snookms' flesh smell & I am good for like, a week? Dead serious here! My theory is that maybe this is his compensation for all his Lawful Good Troubles or something? He is a fucking Cleric, of that I have no doubt, whether he cares to acknowledge this or not! & here I am, syphoning all his powers & using it to be like maybe a Lawful Chaotic. (as if there were ever such a thing! Sheeze, I even don't know?)

The next Day of Wonder began Saturday.

Toy Story 1&2 have been re-released into the theatres, 3-D style. I took special care in making sure Snookms was made aware of this on a ridiculous level; badgering him for weeks ahead o' time about it's limited 2 week release.

But you know what? He caved!

There is reason for all this rhyme though I tell you!

Toy Story! I mean c'mon! If you see them, if you watch them, I mean WATCH them watch them, like Snookms & I had to for the first 7 years of our marriage, then you will know what I mean Vern.

(oh, & I thought this was pretty amazing.....)

There were points in life where that is all we DID was Toy Story, like ate, slept & drank it man. It wasn't of our own doing, it became a babysitter of sorts so Snookms & I could snooze a quick nap, or like, get some laundry done & get dinner on the table.

But in that we formed a likeness for the movies. It became such an inherent part of our lives that we began randomly quoting movie lines to insert into our everyday life, like as ironic humour to the situation.

& then of course Tha Jr., with his autistic need to quote movie lines, well SHIT! That didn't help either.

So there are like, a whole colony's worth of inside jokes we have stacked up against these movies. There's History embedded in these em-effers.

You can imagine the joy & delight my little chest could barely contain in having the opportune to relive some of this, & all in 3-D. & sure; there are bad times linked up with the good in this package, but hell, that is every package, you just gotta roll with the punches.

The music from Toy Story 2 PARTICULARLY reminds me of Christmas. Christmas of '01 to be exact. That movie was on endless replay VHS style in those days. It was a whole different school of knowledge back in those days.I was like, really doing some soul-searching for myself then?

So like, when I watched this movie in 3-D on Saturday evening, I was pretty fucking thankful for the glasses. They hid my tears. The tears were not so much for sadness as they were for rememberance. Days gone by & the "look at where we are now" kind of a thing. Everytime there was a movie line quoted that Snookms & I had adapted into our inside joking I'd grin shit-eating style, nudge Snookms all elbowy like, & he'd giggle like a school girl with his gregarious crocodile smile. It was great to the greatest degree!

& then Sunday. Dear sweet Sunday.

Snookms has been on this new schedule of watching football games that involve the Colts playing & I have been trying to be mindful of that considering all that he is mindful of with me, so I indentured myself as servant to make enchiladas for him to enjoy while watching the game. I rewarded myself with visions of me later laying around reading more about Lucifer & surfing intarwebz.

These enchiladas that were made though, they were no ordinary enchiladas! They were technicolour dreamcoat enchiladas I'm telling you! Rainbow Enchiladas! I couldn't decide whether to make them with green sauce or red, so I said, "Hell, why not both?" I added a shitload of extra sauce so they wouldn't be so goddamned dry like the last time I made them & it worked! My attempts to compensate usually never work, so I was pathetically pleased with this one attempt.

The rest of the day was spent like I said, reading about Lucifer Morningstar & his Will, & such.

I have no idea what this week holds; it is chaos to the maximum degree what with Chess Club Meets, therapist appts to keep, Student Leadership Team afterschool meetings to drive the she spawn to, Individual Speech Therapy @ Riley for the Jr.....

The one shining star in this medley of broken chaos is the possibility of Date Night with Mysty on Thursday to see 'Whip It'. It's no wonder all I wanna do today is lay around catching up on season 2 of True Blood & play Mega Man 2 til I beat Dr. Wily Alien Form.

FUDGE!