"WHO ARE YOU?!

My loins hath brewed up a new brand of evil for the morning. It is in no way as delightful as it might sound.

Mother's Day... I'll start with that. Well, the weekend of it anyhow.

My spawn are so hobbit like in the gift giving department, they cannot wait to relinquish their presents, y'know? She-spawn got right on making me an Otep shirt, I told you guys all about that. Then the starshaped bowl that Fezziwig bestowed as gift upon me. That was all Friday. Saturday She-Spawn begged Snookms to take her to Disc Replay & they bought me the limited edition of Akira! Her in I slapped it in right away, watched it all the way through only taking breaks long enough to gather junk food rations. She was really engrossed into the movie, I'd kinda figured she would be; she's just intriguing like that.

The next day Snookms took us for ice cream to Baskin Robbins & bought me a ridiculously large bouquet of sunflowers & daisies, cause he knows I be jockin sunflowers like mad. Also grabbed me an Itunes card in which I flooded with great muzaks.

"Happy Mother's Day To Me!" Is what I titled the cd:

1. Someone Great -LCD Soundsystem
2. Nautilus -Depreciation Guild
3. Fade Into You -Mazzy Star
4. Astral Projection to Rabid Hell -Urgehal
5. Cellar Door -Michael Andrews
6. Reflection of the Television -The Twilight Sad
7. Unfavorable Meanings -Teenage Panzerkorps
8. Transmission -Joy Division
9. Rebellion (Lies) -Arcade Fire
10. Only Pain -Unsane
11. Black Bile -Graves at Sea
12. Boris -Melvins (I really wanted the Isis/Agoraphopic Nosebleed cover but couldn't find it!)
13. Big Empty -Stone Temple Pilots
14. 2:45 A.M. -Elliot Smith

So I've been cranking that real loud & driving my spawn crazy with it. & Snookms too. Oh how I love to make him hate things!

So like after all o' that we headed down to Snookms' moms' pad to well wish her a Happy Mother's Day. Snookms step dad made a turkey & we had turkey sandwiches & watched Blind Side. Good movie. I had a huge crush on "Big Mike" the whole movie & kept snickering everytime anyone said his name cause that's what I call Snookms when he refuses to respond to "Snookms".

When we were done there we headed out to my mom's & dad's to drop off the 2 containers of Jamocha Almond Fudge I nabbed her from Baskin Robbins. See, that shit is treasure in our family cause all the Baskin Robbins in our area are pretty much extinct. Have to travel FarAndWide for that shit now...

So she was all squeeing & eeekin over it like I had hoped she would. She is such a great gift receiver. She got me a really cute top from some store in Metropolis that I keep forgetting the name of. She also bought me a 'Bella bracelet" cause I've been tryna nab hers from her wrist for like, an eternity & a day & shit. Mine's brown. Her's is black. & she has a white one too now. Ho-HUM! *Oh! You must have dropped this!*

Didn't get to stay & play for too long, as the hour was growing late. Came home & got the kiddoes all tuckered in bed. Snookms & I did fun stuff but I can't even remember what it was. He's been a real joker lately. Making me giggle with flexing his muscles in the mirrors when he knows I'm watching, starts kissing them & stuff till I explode with laughter. That kind of a thing.

Oh! Also! That night, when I walked to the mailbox to put a check in the mail for our kiddoes' insurance? There was a package in the mail from Let-Dawg! She took the time to send me a card & a most ADORABLE golden owl necklace. It has aqua blue eyes & an amber jeweled tummay. SO PRECIOUS! It was all moist & cold from being in the mailbox all night, which only added to it's irresistable allure.

Monday was back to work; went to do an initial clean on a new house that Kristi agreed to start doing. Wasn't too bad, the woman's got a Maserati (sp?) in her driveway though! Cute little abode, nothing too backbreaking right? She pays us more & more money as we progress though the house, realizing how "good of a job" we are doing. By the time we got outta there our pockets were stuffed with 30 dollar tips! How cool is that, right?

Later that night I looked forward to Big Bang Theory, pretty much the only light at the end of the dreary Monday tunnel aside from seeing Snookms & the spawns when they get home. Big Bang Theory is pretty much the only show I brake for these days. It was Lost for the longest time, but I have given up on the show for now just because I am so motherfucking behind. I refuse to watch the last episode not knowing what the fuck has been going on for the last 3 seasons. At least that is what I am telling myself so that I can resist the temptation for next Wednesday... or is it Tuesday? Or is it THIS week? See!!! I am a MESS!

But Big Bang Theory. This show pleases me to an obscene degree. Sheldon has me swooning & giggling in toe curling delight, & his 3 pals ain't far behind. Sheldon reminds me of 3 parts Jr. (my oldest spawn), & 1 part Erin (my oldest brother, but I am STILL older than him & can beat him up so don't even try). Everybody loves Sheldon. Mordicai kind of reminds me of him too, but Mordicai is definately a far more fashionably aware version of Sheldon. Just with his technicalities & things he gets excited over? It's pretty funny & delightful.

Thursday I got paid & had Friday off so's I took Snookms out on a dinner date to Texas Roadhouse, his choice. I'd never been so I didn't know what to expect. Final verdict? I love the atmosphere, but I'm not to keen on the food. It's too much like domisticated food for my liking. & there is some semblance of sweetness in every food you order there, no matter WHAT it is. I don't like that! But we still had our enjoyment either way, we don't need good food to have fun.

Headed over to SuperTarget across the street to stock up on rations for the weekend; bought the spawn some "Hey, I love you & I see what you've been doing there" kind of items & dilly-dallied home. Kiddoes put to bed & Snookms & I finished up watching '10 Things I Hate About You'; it was Encore or something or another. Snookms secretly adores this movie, I can feel it in my bones. He faithfully giggles when Heath Ledger smacks that cop on the butt during the ever-so-charming singing scene. & the whole, "I have a dick on my face, don't I" thing? Poignant moments in our life, people!

After Snookms nodded off on the couch I slipped away to take care of my hair business. & when I say business, BOY DO I MEAN BUSINESS! Lotta werk to be done there folks. See, I shave the back of my head, like, not half way but maybe a third of the way (though there was a point when I was shaving it even past the halfway mark) & I have a bad habit of not keeping up on it. So when I tie my hair up it looks like I've just hacked all my hair off & you see these questionable roots furling up underneath it all, which just makes it look like my hair is really short. So yeah, I had that to attend to. I used to keep up with it all the time in high school but damn! It's hard to scrape up time for that shit these days? So I did that up real quick & then proceeded to bleach half of my bangs so I could dye them purple for the next day. Feels so good to go to bed with a freshly shaved scalp!

So Friday I awoke with a beastly vigor, ready for the new day ahead. It was movie night @ Robbie's & I am falling in super mad love with Robbie real fukken quick. He was that boy in high school with a trench coat, wearing an Art of Noise tshirt & being snarky to whom deserved it & unscathingly romantic to those who didn't. His words drip so effortlessly from his maw, & I am puddy in his hands I am telling yew! I'm sure he's turned hundreds of tricks this way...

So blue black dye was in the cards for my hairs that day, along with the purple for my bangs. Took a lot less time & effort than I had initially proposed for myself, but I was still tired after it all. By the time darkness descended I was ready to just plop on Robbie's red couch & sleep.

But instead Mysty, Katie, Robbie & I watched Bitchslap, which was descent. Robbie says it's what Tarantino's movies SHOULD be, but I like the Tarantino flicks just fine the way they are. Still some decent moments in the movie though. The girl on girl action was pretty hot & I really liked the nun scene too. We were s'posed to watch Immortal after that but I just wanted to be a chatty Kathy instead. Robbie took it upon himself to pop in The Cure's Disintegration live dvd to play as white noise whilst we sat & learned more about each other. I am so in love with Weekend Evenings @ Robbie's House...

Katie has me cracking up with the way she laughs & what she laughs at. We are one in the same in that manner of thinking.

Other fun moments in the week worth mentioning was going to the park on Sunday with Snookms & the spawn tribe. We haven't been since last summer, so it was a real treat. This park we go to is the king of the woods as far as parks go; it has the most secluded, wooded areas that you could know of. They are at every corner, I am telling you. & a bridge! A creek! Here to make all your RPG fantasies come true. I am a sucker for secluded wood areas; get over me!

The kiddoes had fun veering off the paths to find their own, while Snookms & I messed around with some potsmoking teenagers who thought they were being discreet. Ahhhh! How I miss them days...

We will be going back every weekend prolly, such great adventure there.

Back around to Monday, all about Big Bang Theory of course. Later on that night Snookms & I stayed up too late watching Robocop. This movie was intense for me as a kiddo, but so fucking mesmerizing. Murphy! "Who are YOU? WHO ARE YOU?!" & that melting jerk of rat in the poo sewage? It's always great to know you & the spouse were paying attention to all the same parts of Robocop as a kid. Says a lot about a person...

Read this book if!...

You must absolutely, positively read Mordicai Knode's book Watchtower Gothic if:



1! You listen to Electric Wizard & enjoy it whether you smoke pot or naught.

2! You play D&D now or ever in your life.

3! You like anything I care about at all.

4! Know what homunculus are...

5! Appreciate the art of this beautifully orchestrated melody...

6! Think that the name Mordicai is cataclysmically awesome.

7! Like to play and/or sympathize with Kender the most. (because of the unintentionably adorable factor of this book!)

8! Find insanely macabre things adorably endearing.



You must ESPECIALLY read this book if:



You play or claim to live along the alignment of a Lawful Evil.



So. With that being said, I really adored this book. This is the second book of Mordicai's I have read, his first being Wil O' Wisps & Other Illuminated Manuscripts, (as if that wasn't enough to get my crusty undies in a bunch what with his terribly clever & innovative use of face icons from them oldskool Word Perfect programs as a means for Wil O' Wisp communications) which was a winning NaNoWriMo participant from the year before Watchtower Gothic.



If anybody knows anything about Mordicai (of which I know very little, but the little that I have gathered from faithfully reading his most excellent blog) they would know that he has a knickety knack for making the Darkness adorable. Delectable. Irrrrresistable. There is only one other kat in this world that I know of has that ability over me & that is Neil Gaiman. & honestly? Mordicai kind of tops him in my book. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am all up on The Sandman's tip. & all the fuck over Silas from The Graveyard Book. But dear sweet Gillick Bootblack! I can't decide if I'm going to love you more as the preteen Alpha you once were, or the most notorious Blackhearted war criminal of all the Known Worlds & beyond!



So there is that!



Now that I've gotten that outta the way, let me just say that these two visual/audio companions stuck with me all throughout. & if anyone begs to differ please don't hesitate to steer me in the more clarifying direction?



THIS!



& then ...



THIS!!



Yeah. There is this Alizarin Red character, most charming & in a wheel chair. You know ol' Mordicai has got something in his pocketses, BUT WHAT IS IT?! Wait & see, WAIT & SEE. She is beautiful in a most terrible & beautiful way. & this is one of Gillick Bootblack's (the main man of the story) companions in this adventure.



Then you have Blondie. I switch back & forth all throughout the story on who is my favourite, but I do believe my heart belongs to her. As I've mentioned before! SHE USES CURSE WORDS SO APPROPRIATELY! But that is not the point.



I have a hard time pinpointing this. Not only in Master M's book, but in all books. I miss the point cause I get caught up in the adventure. But here is what I am guessing at?



Gillick, my main man, is like, an Alpha? Which is a language I'm not too keen on due to my parents sheltering me & my kin from too much exposure to the land of magicks, but I'm guessing is one bad ass creation of race.



He is in this Watchtower of sorts, in a realm where the Unity works strictly together to better this realm, use the bones of what the inhabitants of the past have been forced to reckon with & make the most of it's leftovers. Gillick is in the aftermath, the Unity's attempt to make the world a better place? He grows up in a sort of alchemist's foster home, learning the lore & this first book discusses the charming childhood of Gillick, before he became known as "A Most Notorious War Criminal of all the Known Worlds & beyond".



He ventures out on his birthday to meet up with his two newly acquainted pals Alizarin & Blondie, with nothing but his good natured but carefully calculated intentions on his shirtsleeve.



An Aleister Crowley-ish kind of dude in charge of the haunted house takes them the way for the rest of their ride, as they decide to celebrate at The Carnivale of all the lovely places in the Urth!



There is sort of an "alluding to" of what might have happened in those last few moments they shared in the haunted house the 3 companions agreed to walk through together, but it isn't til the very end that you get any idea of what truly takes place. To bridge that most questionable of gaps is letters...



...Letters from Gillick to Blondie to Alizarin & back. As they part ways the particular Carnivale events seems to me the tie that bonds them, all along they speak of it very vaguely, only teasing the very itchy spot you want so badly to scratch in wondering just what the heck happened in that creepy haunted house to the 3 of them.



The letters exchanged at first seem daunting when you see that they go on til damn near the end of the book, until you realize how adorably important they are in further mapping out the "true" nature of Gillick in all his intentions.



Revolution is his name friends! Docents? Citizens...? Yeah. So Gillick applies his previous knowledge attained from his schooling as a potential alchemist & combines it with the worldly experiences that he, Alizarin & Blondie share to attempt a global upheaval of the functioning society as we know it, linguistics being (as far as what I took of it as least!) a top fucking priority.



& you can totally see where Gillick is coming from in all of this. You hear him question Blondie's motive in her eagerness to swear like a truck driver, & he is so goddamn careful to choose his own words. Something I kind of see emulate itself in Mordicai as well.



Either way, he is a decent fellow, that Mordicai dude, & I'd recommend this book to anyone who digs the aforementioned, because it is just THAT FUN OF A READ.



Also! Stayed tuned for a possible Book 2 in the Watchtower series next NaNo!

Out of sorts!

(Apologizing beforehand for any weird timeframe mistakes, I wrote this particular entry before I did Mordicai's book review but wanted to make sure I put that up ASAP.)

So, yeah... FUCK ME WITH A CANDLESTICK!

Anniversary week! Last week? It was fun! OH so FUN. Snookms & I didn't even have much money to play around with either, but it was prolly the best anniversary we've had yet.

I think it has to do with how close we've become over the years, 14 years... We were able to get over that hump that makes us feel like we were robots instead of lovers, & after that everything has been TITS for us. We can joke with each other like we used to, feel free to share our opinions with one another & not have to be afraid of judging. I love how we can have a casual conversation about masturbation one minute & work the next. It is great.

All day long I had been craving the salad/potato(e) soup combo from Panera so that is where we set out to go once Snookms got home & showered. They didn't even have potato(e) soup that day! FAIL! I guess I should've been more keen to the whole soup o' the day thing, but whatever! I was so dissapointed. But I settled for some cream of chicken thing. & then they even forgot to put the cheese crumbles in our cobb salads so I had to ask for it, it is what gives the salad the kick that makes it worth even buying in the first place. Otherwise it is just a ... bacon salad?

After that we headed to the Sprint shop; Snookms had a fancy Blackberry his brother gave him, he had mentioned getting his service switched from his dinosaur phone to that one, so I was like, Heck ya! Go for it! Since I already broke my Palm. So we get there & he has it turned on in MY name! Whoa? No way, Snookms you spoil me with phones! So that was part of the anniversary present I guess? & it was a present to him too because he didn't have to pay anything for it. & if you are going to find a Snookms Weak Spot, the wallet is where it will be EVERY TIME.

So after that fun was over (I have unlimited texts now...w0000000000t) we headed back out to Metropolis. Drove past the barber shop Snookms goes to & he mentioned needing his hairz did so I told him to go for it. So he did. HE NEVER LETS THEM PUT GEL IN WHEN THEY'RE DONE. Why?

Headed to Rue 21 when he was done there & I bought a Juno-esque looking plaid summer dress on clearance for 15 bucks, some comfy purple work pants for 6 fat ones & a really adorable giant pewter butterfly ring. SQUEEAK. I was totally looking forward to wearing my safety pin laced boots with the dress, & some black fishnets & the butterfly ring along with the new black octopus necklace that Let-Dawg acquired for me @ Hot Topic.

Let's see...when that was done we went to the Starbux haunt that Mysty & I usually hang at & went inside this time. (We are usually outdoors & smoking?) So we sat & chatted about a buttload of stuff, mostly about him tryna get his own insurance so that he can run his own framing crew. He's been doing it for years really, just under someone else's foot. So like, hell yeah I'm gonna be supportive of that shit. Snookms was basically born with a woodchip under his ear. It was really nice to have all that Snookms to myself. Don't get me wrong, it's great to have all the kiddoes, but it's so hard to get a meaningful conversation in edge-wise with spawn interrupting you every 10 seconds.

We had to grab some cereal for the next morning so we stopped by Meijer, the nearest supermarket, to get that & some other snacks for the kiddoes. Found some adorable baby orchids & Snookms bought me one! Eeeeeeeeeeeek! So pretty. I love how they make faces at me.

Came home, put the precious spawnies to bed & elected to watch The Men Who Stare at Goats. I told Snookms he'd prolly love it, cause I had watched 3/4's of it earlier that day, so I was all jazzed about him watching it too. But he didn't like it as much as I did. That's okay though. His mancrush for George Clooney still remains.

Had some great anniversary sex & fell asleep curled up in Snookms' arms for the night.

The next day was pretty fun too, went to see The Runaways with Mysty at the Keystone Art Cinema in Castleton. I had my silent reservations with this film beforehand, just because well, you know how they hype shit up these days & it all goes south from there for me... but oh man. I fucking LOVED this movie. The opening scene shows a fucking blood clot falling from Dakota Fanning's pussy! & it only gets better from there. Seeing Kristin Stewart make out with Dakota Fanning was the icing on the Runaways cake. & Michael Shannon playing as Kim Fowley had me sighing & swooning with his, "You gotta think with your cocks!" attitude. I'd recommend this movie to anyone.

Had fun just smoking & chatting it up with Mysty afterwards. We shared a peanut butter & chocolate chip cookie from Mrs. Field's cookie shop, hadn't had one o' those in YEARS. Verrrry tasty. Then it was home sweet home.

Fast forward to Saturday, spent it @ my mom & dad's hanging out with 2 of my brothers & their spawn... Had fun playing catch up with my mom, she is a marvelous person to have for a mother? She kept threatening to take us up the the carnivale down the street in the old Target parking lot. I told her, "Wait til darkness falls! It'll be funner!" So we did! Even got Snookms & my dad to go (he starred as Keifer Sutherland from The Lost Boys). It was a total blast. I went on that rotational ride that sways yer ass back & forth til you hang all the way upside down, suspended in the motherfucking air & shit. I wasn't able to sit in the same booth as Jr. & Snookms so I had to sit with some 12 year old girl who was really cute but really scared. She had no idea what she was in store for! The whole time she is crying & yelling out, "I want my mooooooommy!" So I had to play coach & get her through the ordeal. I am getting OLDE. & mortal! Those things fuck with me now! I felt sick afterwards!

We let the spawn play some of the rip off games & they won stuff. She-Spawn aimed her shit like a champ & got a tiger in return...

Then it was home... I can't even remember what we did then? Watched something? I'll remember later.

& then yesterday! Mysty took off early from working the Big Kahuna desk @ her current place of employment to watch The Human Centipede with me On Demand. OH SNAP! So disgusting but I was hoping & expecting more? I am a sick little puppy. Sue me. But yeah, I'm already ready for the next "sequence". BFF CENTIPEDE FOR LIFE.

I also forgot to talk about Robbie's Birthday fun from like 2 Saturdays ago, but Katie has it all documented & even put the photos in a Flickr account for all ya'lls viewing pleasure. It was OH SO MUCH FUN. Robbie sent me the most ADORABLE fucking picture of himself yesterday on muh phone, & made my fucking morning with dedicating Darkness's Proposal to meeeeee. SO IN LUFF AM I.

Today it is hopefully going to be all about seeing Iron Man 2, tried to go see it last night after eating a late dinner @ El Rodeo (or 'Gooseo' as Let-Dawg & I have coined it, another funny story to share for next time!) but they were all sold out for the time we wanted to see it. The next showing wasn't till 10 o'clock p.m. & we weren't about to see a 2 hour flick that fucking late. We are olde! I nod off in theatres if it is past my bedtime, no lie!

Tomorrow/tomarrow is Mother's Day. All I asked for was an Itunes card & a banana split from the highly scarcity of awesomeness that is Baskin Robbins. I got online last night to make sure they weren't extinct & sure enough there was 3 in our area. Gotta get my Jamocha fix on! But yeah, that's what I asked for... & today, which isn't even Mother's Day! my spawn showered me in gifts! She-spawn hand painted me a shirk with the Otep logo "Art Saves" on it & Fezziwig GAVE ME his treasured clay project that had been chosen to put on display in the hallways of his school. It is a bowl, in the shape of an amber star, with green trimmings. So beautiful & original! It is my new jewelry catcher.

I'd share pictures with the group but I am still tryna figure out the whole picture thing in regard to uploading stuff online, but when I do, prepared to be spammed with muh shit fools.

This might be long & boring to a lot of you!

A day off! I found one! Just laying around... Really!

Ahhhh. Such a busy month.

I guess I'll start with spring break. It was fun. Sleeping in, playing SoTN, staying up late, enjoying the nice weather we had. Saw Clash o' the Titans in 3-D (which I totally dug so quit bitching about 3-D Katie)... I worked one day during the whole duration of spring break so it wasn't bad at all. Good times.

The week after that, Let-Dawg came to visit! All the way from Cali. So like, now I have to go visit HER & all her minions.

Let's just say that I was fucking floored at how grown up she looks in real life. I mean, I had some semblance of what she was going to look like what with the beauty of technology provides today via picture mail, heck even cute little videos she sent to me of her tap-dancing & whatnot... BUT STILL! These things do her no justice compared to the beauty I laid eyes upon in seeing her in person for the first time in over 15 years. She is all grown up.

So when I picked her up at the airport what I really wanted to do was cry, my stomach was all tangled in knots, but instead I did the opposite & just started laughing hysterically. Cause I'm Autistic like that, y'know? She was crying so hard, I was so touched by the moment.

I was nervous as all get out driving with her & 3 spawn in tow, plus I am not even a little bit familiar with the new airport system Indy hath provided us with just recently, so I was just a silent little ghost on the drive to Mickey D's whilst the spawn prattled on with her in the car. I kept sneaking glances at her. It was so surreal.

After we stocked up on rations @ McDonald's we took her home to our humble abode. Settled in for a few, waited for Snookms to get home from work so he could meet her & all that jazz, then she & I headed out to Plainfield to smoke & chat @ Starbux cause that is all I ever dreamed of doing with her. The weather was beautiful but OH SO WINDY. Leticia kept teasing the weather & calling it a Dust Devil. She got attacked as a result & pummeled with Indy Mulch. It made me giggle.

We walked around Metropolis for a few, then agreed to head out to the ol' Renegade Wizard & Warlock's Wife pad. They were pretty jazzed to see her. First thing my mom said when she saw her getting out of the car was, "Oh no, don't call the cops on me!" because like, cops were always being called back in the day when she & I were an item. MEH.

We had a lovely evening of just sitting out on the deck & catching up. It was awesome to see my mom & Let-Dawg have a conversation where we were all on the same page. 15 years ago it would've went something like, "Hey mom, can I smoke some dank in mai bedroom?" "Uhmmm, NO!" So yeah. They were talking about being good mommies for their daughters & plants & Fibromayalgia (sp?) so yeah. It was 'interesting' to say the least.

The hour grew late & Leticia was beyond exhausted so we headed home to a house full of sleeping Turners so that we too could turn in for the night. We got home, rejuventated on foods & got our pajamas on. I wound up staying in the living room with her til hella late because we were just having too much fun talking & laughing. It was like a day had never even passed by between us. Our brand of humour, I believe, is the tie that will continually bind us.

The whole night long I kept looking at her face & how young she still looked, I could still see Leticia there, so wide eyed & innocent. But there is this facet of chaos that generates a will of covetous nature from me. I want to consume it & allow it to become me. Like, maybe if I just cut her foot off & eat it that will be enough? She is such a wonderful enigma...

The next day I took the spawn to school & came home & we just sat around in our jammies & rested. RESTED! RESTED? It was weird. BUT FUN! We sat around in our jammiez & stepped out on the patio to smoke & stuff. Then she busted out the copy of Lost & Delirious I had ordered her a while back, she even took the liberty of not watching it at home yet so we could watch it together for her first time. SWEET.

I started tearing up hardcore all throughout the movie & feeling hella dumb. Fucking Paulie is top notch in that flick. She pretty much emulates all the turmoil I struggled against as an awkward teen. SO MUCH EMO. Thank GAWD she had me all distracted with signing her copy of my two books, otherwise it would have been even moreso awkward.

So by the time that was over we didn't have much time to do anything else before it was time to pick up my spawn. We elected to grab some lunch @ Panera (which is my FAVOURITE) & I ordered the potato(e) soup along with a chicken cobb salad. Best combo evar? Let-Dawg did the same, I ate way the fuck more than she did.

I think it was that night that we elected to see Hot Tub Time Machine, which Rotten Tomatoes hated pretty much, or in other words, "everybody" hated I guess? I on the other hand, along with Let-Dawg gave it two thumbs up, way up. It was just our brand of humour, plus Crispin Glover as the armless dude who was no longer armless in the past? He like, stole muh fukkin heart away... It was a perfect movie to see with Let-Dawg.

We had a field trip to take she-spawn to the next day; Indy 500 museum & race track. It was surprisingly fun, but outdoors. By then the weather had taken an about face & totally fucked us up. SO COLD. Poor Little Miss California Sunshine thought she was in the tundra & shite.

After that, the whole trip was basically dedicated to the fucking hospital, which I don't even want to go into all of that here, long story short, Jr. had 2 appts & my pops wound up in the hospital on Friday, but he is all better now so that's all that matters here. Still though, Leticia & I still managed to have fun, she's not one of those friends that you need to be in the 'scene' with to always be having fun & shit. Hell, SHE IS THE SCENE.

When it was time for her to go, I was so not ready. It came so abruptly. I knew it was coming but I just kept tucking it away, like somehow it wouldn't happen if I just kept pushing it far enough into the recesses of my mind. Yeah right. Snookms' mom was a doll & had us reserve a room in her name @ the Holiday Inn Carribean Cove (it's an indoor waterpark hotel that tricks you into thinking you might actually be at the beach for at least 5 minutes) & that is the same day that Let-Dawg was leaving. So after her & the fam & I went to lunch together @ El Rodeo she rode with us to check in to our awesome hotel room, then it was off to the stupid airport. The airport was useless to me that day, y'know?

I don't even want to talk about goodbyes. This ended up being a surprisingly awesome goodbye, but still. I HATE GOODBYES.

So this was all like, almost 2 weeks ago I guess? Or something. Don't hate me because I'm bad with time frames okay?

The next week, which was last week... ? Well I had a lecture Neil Gaiman was speaking at to go to on Friday to get me through the dark & dreary tunnel. Leticia leaving took a toll on me, alot harder than I had imagined. There was something like depression, just missing her being at my side I s'pose? Mysty had took the awesome initiative to set up us being Friends of the Library so that her, BrandiCandi & I could have front row seats at the lecture. Mysty is fucking awesome like that. She be getting the hookup yo. So dig it? I was almost in a fangrrl panic knowing Neil Gaiman was about to step foot on stage. I felt as though I needed some restraining harness other than my own sheer will to keep me from clobbering him with my drool when he finally did walk on stage. He was everything I hoped he would be. & more. He said when he grew up he wanted to be either a werewolf, or a writer. Mysty & I swooned & giggled hardcore when he said that because I started calling her husbandry Werewolf & it just stuck like that so that is what Mysty makes everyone call him now.

He spoke a bit, did some readings, held a Q&A which I couldn't muster the guster to ask a question, & then did a final reading of which was my favourite. Something about a St. Auron? I dunno. I was too bewitched body & soul to reach that far into my memory bank & record. BrandiCandi will remember! & there was a Paige! A lovely lovely Paige I had the pleasure of meeting due to Mysty & her being mutual pals. Mysty is superfamous everywhere she goes. Everyone knows her no matter where we are. Paige has awesome ink, she had this awesome owl tattoo on her arm that I took a picture of with my camera phone but cannot currently share with anyone because my fucking phone is now broke.

So after drooling over Neil Gaiman, Mysty took us back to her pad where we met up with her Werewolf & one of my exes (sp?, WUT? I'm not used to talking about 'exes'!) & headed up to Melody Inn. I had the pleasure of hearing Slam Dunk, Lair of the Minotaur & Coffinworm live that night, it was fucking off the hook? I was initially all about Lair of the Minotaur, but when Coffinworm got on stage they stole the fucking show. Everyone knows everyone @ that particular haunt, except me, of course, I was a fucking newbie fail on various levels, but I didn't care cause I was so far stuck up Mysty's ass you could no longer see my little Anarchy ballet flats sticking out. But I tell you, everytime Mysty takes me to one of these 'things'? These live/local/underground shows? It is like getting in a time machine & being transformed. I feel like a teenager again, reckless & flawless & rejuvenated. Somehow Mysty has that affect on people. We all drink from her Eternal Fountain of Youth. & I don't know, because I am new to this 'scene', or rather, just coming back into it as an old fart, but... there are all these adorable little outdoor nooks & crannies you can slip back into & just chill & smoke & chat up with potential Venice Beach material. It's pretty great & I am thinking everyone needs to try this scene on for size at least once in their life. I typically live such a sheltered life, as BrandiCandi had put it for us people that live under the stairs, & this was so entertaining... watching Mysty @ her finest.

So yeah. There is that. There's way more to babble about here, I finished Mordicai's Watchtower Gothic (a LONG TIME AGO, actually) & just received Mr. Parrish's very own Tavernier Stones in the mail about a week ago... I want to talk about those, but in another session! Time's up!

No! There is no hairstyle that can put you in the bad place!

The last time I posted was March 1st. It's the 19th today. I am losing my touch.

I have a Hefty bag of crap I can't bring myself to go through yet; it is filled with the contents of our beloved Kia (R.I.P.) that Snookms managed to salvage from the wreck I got in 2 weeks ago.

Wreck you say? You didn't know I got in a wreck? Why yes, I did. I sure fucking did. & it was all my doing, or undoing, I should say.

See, the Kia's a stick. Also, it's a 2001, so like, it was getting 'up there' in age I s'pose? Welp, it's been actin funny; funny meaning I have to keep 3 feet on the pedals at one time. It stalls. When it's in 5th gear it wants to act like it's in fucking first. For at least the first 5 or 10 minutes you drive it. After it warms up or whatever, it does fine. Just fine.

Stupid me took it upon one's self to throw this caution to the wind & go out anyway, took the kiddoes up to Starbux. The Kia never did start behaving itself. I left Starbux & we got on the rode, me tryna keep the car running by alternating cramming on the gas with one foot & the other busy pedaling around with the clutch & the brake pedal. I took the liberty of turning on my hazards seeing that I wasn't having any success in this. I was worried about the cars behind me getting all shitty because the car was driving so crappy.

Next thing you know I rear end some old Asian dude in front of me. Hard. So fucking hard it caused the Old Asian Dude's car to ram into the car in front of him.

Automatically I hear screaming. From my babies. They're screaming & crying & freaking the fuck out like any normal person would. My instincts kick in after I am done being dumbfounded by the impact & I look around to make sure none of my kids are hurt. None of them appear to be. I get out of the car & climb in the back seat to try to reach out to each of my kids & comfort them. They are not consoled. My oldest is yelling out, "Am I gonna die? Am I gonna die?!"

I get out my phone to try dialing 911, but fuck touchscreens. Never try to dial on one of those when you are in a panic.

I look over at my oldest, Jr., & he is bleeding profusely from the face. His nose is now swollen & looks like something that resembles the oldskool Phantom of the Opera. There is a bump the size of Antarctica forming on the bridge of his nose. I about faint.

Some innocent bystander takes it upon himself to take us under his wing. I grab the keys from the Kia & he helps me round up my kiddoes & lets them sit in his truck. Apparently he is like, an off duty firefighter or some shit? He knows all the lingo. Gets out a flashlight to look at Jr.s nose. His gums are swollen & bleeding to. He's still asking if he's going to die. My other two are appearing to be physically okay but they are still freaking out. The ambulance comes. Snookms comes. I follow the ambulance with my two kiddoes & meet Snookms & Jr. in the E.R. at Clarion West Hospital.

Jr. has a broken nose. & his frenum/frenulum is completely torn. All the fucking way. It's that thin piece of skin that connects your upper lip to your gums? His gums are all bruised the fuck up & his face has become heartbrakingly swollen.

We get out of the E.R. around 1 in the morning. The accident took place around 10:30 pm.

It's taken a week for Jr.'s face to go back to looking the way it used to be, but it's still going to look a 'little' different than before. There is a small bump on the bridge of his nose that will always be there, but he didn't have to get any surgery, so I'm thankful for that.

I've been hating on myself for about 2 weeks now, trying to come to terms with what lessons I should be taking away from this incident. It's been hard to enjoy my usual pleasures, as I have been denying myself many of them. I tried to act normal for the intarwebz because nobody likes to see that shit unfold online, but inside I was a fucking mess. I didn't talk to anyone, I retreated to that corner inside my world where self hate was the most pleasurable thing I could grant myself access to.

I'm slowly making my way out of that realm, but it hasn't been easy. On the surface everything seems better, & technically it is I guess? But there's a part of me on the inside that doesn't ever feel like it will be the same.

My other 2 spawn are still traumatized by it, as well as Jr., & I can't blame them one fucking bit.

If there were any lessons I needed to learn from this incident I want to make sure I am being made aware of them. I know it was an 'accident', but still. It just fucks with me.

I pushed alot of people away as a result of my retreating into my self hating indulgence, but I guess that's a test of who really loves you & who doesn't, cause the ones that still stuck by my side through all of my bullshit are still there.

So that's what's been up in my neck o' the woods for the past 2 weeks.

I went back to work with my sister in law Monday since all my kiddoes were able to go back to school. I hated every fucking minute of it. The only thing that kept me going was knowing I was going to have a day off the next day to get myself back together. I even wound up calling off the appt. with my therapist because I just needed to be alone with myself for the day. It was refreshing but I was still going crazy on the inside.

I finally had a meltdown all over Snookms. He tried to do the tough love thing on me at first but I don't do well with the tough love thing from Snookms. Maybe it worked when my mom did it to me, but with Snookms it's a different story. Through it all though he was a trooper & by the next day I was starting to feel some semblance of optimality? I don't like to throw the term 'normal' around so loosely any more, because what the fuck is the norm? It is different for everybody.

So I went back to work still not wanting to go, but whaddoya know, Thursday was a beautiful day. 3 of us got 3 houses done at a rate of less than an hour for each house & even had time to dine @ the quaint little pizzeria they have in the town of Zionsville. They have pepperoni stuffed breadsticks that are just to die for. I dream about them sometimes.

We had time to spare after that so we all went our separate ways & I got home in time to enjoy a half hour to myself before picking up my spawn. I spent it trying to finish off the 1st tier in MandyLand of Vampire Wars. It was just nice to worry about nothing for a little while.

Wound up watching Ninja Assasin with Fezziwig, she-spawn watched some parts, it was a little too violent for her. She & I are now on the Raizo bandwagon. She has a thing for long haired Asian dudes? Mostly I blame that on my brother Erin (aka Malakai) because that's basically what he is & she-spawn developed an innocent crush on him during her early years of development. He was living with us then, & heck, he is one dashing young elf prince, so who could blame her?

Also got to watch Invention of Lying which was thoroughly amusing. Hearing Jennifer Garner talk unapologetically about masturbating was just ... ENTERTAINING.

Later that night after all the spawn were put to bed I found Loudquietloud on IFC & watched it. I was feeling so good by then, so free. Like everything really might be okay after all. I have a serious obsession going on with Black Francis. He totally reminds me of my possible new Dungeon Master, Robbie. He knows how to command an audience & yet remain himself in many facets. So sarcastically & romantically charming.

I was in a talkative mood while Snookms was cleaning his firearms, so I spilled the beans on another writing project I am cooking up in my head while we were watching Loudquietloud. The story I've been cooking up is a futuristic sci-fi, kind of following after the nature of Southland Tales. Scientists have discovered a way to hack into the brain matter of animals & realize their capacity to hold information; their brains are basically supermemorymachina, & seeing as there was a recent uncovering of incidents leading to the opinionated & scientific conclusion that all things electric have been directly related to Revelations taking place.('cept in this story I think I'm going to refer to The Revelations instead as The Inevitable.) So you get all these puppies & kittehs & llamas hooked up to the Urth, instead of computarz. The Gov't wants to eventually incorporate all fauna to integrate with the heart & core of Urth in order to avoid The Inevitable.

But ... I dunno. We'll see. I have tons of pages of notes & character names & so forth. Neptune DoLittle & Robertsm Ith. A play on words is alot of it. See if you can see!

Tonight the fam & I are s'posed to see the long awaited ' Diary of a Wimpy Kid ' flick. I am in serious ExciteBike mode about this, I can't stop thinking about it & also I get to grab some Starbux w/ Mysty around 4:30 this afternoon. It's been far too long baby.

So that is all for now...

My reality is way better than everyone elses!

So much to talk about!

Well first I'll start with 'The Box' since that is what is on my mind most.

Decided to watch this with my spawn yesterday, ordered it On Demand since I have that luxury with Comcast. I went against what my mom, dad & brother Eric said about it; none of them liked it.

Well, I DID!

But I guess that is to be expected since I am a fan of Richard Kelly's works. You've got Donnie Darko which has become a cult classic, then of course Southland Tales, which, I dunno how much of a fanbase has gathered from that, but the few people I do know that dig Southland Tales are A-O.K.! in my book as far as taste goes.

I think the biggest problem with Richard Kelly movies is the way they are marketed. They are tryna appeal to a demographic in which doesn't really care about most of what Richard Kelly seems to want to tell in a story. If you read the back of a Donnie Darko dvd, you are deceived by descriptions, as they compare it to Sixth Sense. With Southland Tales, they attempt to pull audience in with Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson! & then of course with 'The Box' they make it look like some reality show that focuses on some cookie cutter couple making a heartfelt decision on whether they get their money or decide to kill a family.

With Kelly it's all in the details. Whether or not the family chooses the money or not is as much an aside as everything else they try to falsely convey in those ridiculous previews.

This movie blew me away with it's story telling. The beautiful details. Oh, how I want to get my grubby little paws on 'The Lightning Book'. & now I realize I am not the only one who fantasizes about comparing science fiction to magical happenstances & such.

When you watch this movie you don't get a happy little couple who has made a concious decision to do what you hope & think is right. You get reality of what most anyone would do in a situation, & you get consequence. Even the minute details of that consequence, almost to a schizophrenic degree. & I love it.

Enter a mysterious man, who is a salesman of sorts, going door to door to offer a once in a lifetime opportunity. Enter a well to do couple that has gone through what any enduring couple has gone through to keep a family financially secure. Enter a whole fucking world behind all of that & you get Arlington Steward, a man who lost half of his face to being struck by lightning, & is now being imbued with the ability to communicate with "those who control the lightning".

Use mid 1970's as a timeline, retro era mingled with some NASA sass as a backdrop, & you have a recipe for magical success in my book.

There is even a hint of what I deem hobo-alchemy may be in this story, sprinkled gracefully all throughout. O', how it maketh me swoon!

So there that is.

This was all yesterday. After the movie was over my spawn talked me into playing Monopoly, but I agreed only because it was Spongebob Monopoly. I folded after realizing my she-spawn was going to hafta sell her goods on 10th street just to pay rent for landing on Tentacle Acres with 4 pineapples & a Krusty Krab shack. The total came out to like, wut? $1, 700 fat ones? She had less than 200 dollhairz to her name so I was like, "Awww! NeverMIND!" Then of course she folded, & David came out the victor. I knew there was trouble when he still had both his 500 bills at this point & then some. Fucking bankers & their goddamned accountability & whatnot!

Rewind back to Friday, just a couple days before. I managed to talk Snookms into taking the spawn & I to see 'Shutter Island'. My baby bro got to make it out with us too, so that was a big plus.

I don't know if it was because I was so damned tired already (we made it to the 10:00 pm showing!) or wut but I just didn't have the typical visceral reaction I do to a movie like this. I went in with my own expectations, halfheartedly acknowledging that they wouldn't be met, but you know what? They were ALL met pretty much. & I was just so zombehfide I guess that I didn't get all 'woo-hoo! score one for me & my prophesies!' ... though I really would have liked to... We didn't get outta that Metropolis til damn near 1 in the morning. But yeah, if you are going to be doing a pyschological 'thriller' that makes me happy, this movie is a prime example of how it should be done. The whole "I reject your reality & substitute my own" theory here is prominent all throughout. Which I am a huge advocator of, cause like, I am straight up sick in the head, y'know? So yeah, another good flick to watch when you ain't tired I s'pose?

Saturday was a lazy day for me, didn't get outta my pj's once! It was a good day. I am sad though because I finished Kurt Vonnegut's 'Breakfast of Champions' & that book had me looking forward to being bored cause it was such a great read. It touched very many surfaces of myself I didn't think I'd ever have the words to express. Kurt Vonnegut has such a talent for doing that so fiercely & graciously. It had me a' heavin' & a hoe'in so much! I think Richard Kelly could do an immaculate job of making that one into a movie, I AM TELLING YEW! I am okay with this though because I can now go resume reading Mordicai's 'Watchtower Gothic'. I am in love with this Blondie character, she uses curse words SO APPROPRIATELY!

My other brother Eric showed up later Saturday evening & he & his daughter wound up spending the night. We stayed up late eating junk foodz, talking about our Seattle days growing up, with Totally Insane & RBL Posse as our soundtrack for the night. A little 'Trigga Gotz No Heart' didn't hurt one bit either.

One last thing that I am pretty jazzed about is that the interview Betsy Dornbusch (aka SexScenes at Starbucks) invited me to do is up @ Electric Spec for those of you that wanna take a peek at.

I was thrilled to have the opportunity to do this interview with her because of the book it was in regard to, Quencher. It's erotica, it's got vamps & it's got muff diving. ALL OF THOSE THINGS HAVE MY NAME ON IT. Now go forth!

Taking a walk on the wilde side...

Floating alone on waves of despair & nothingness. I want to say things I shouldn’t say, or rather, things that shouldn’t be contrived. My therapist has rewired me to say “I wish” instead of “I should have” & that has changed circumstances significantly. But the olde beast, it still yearns for it’s ancient ways of dealing. There are still so many “should haves” washing over this oceania of regret & it’s all I can do to bite my tongue.

I have so much to say darlings, about this dreary world that only reading books about Kilgore Trout can satiate these days. There are secret scribes inside this mechanism that take notes & other gears that tear those notions asunder once the pen hits the paper readily. *Kilgore Trout* *Kilgore Trout* Those 2 words burned themselves into my slumbering imagery through the night, like I sometimes allow the word *Messiah* to do.

In this place I can be safe to be me, but for how long? Another facet of myself chooses to betray my words & make them public, as if to say, “See! I told you you were an ass, Rachel… or … whoever you are for today!” These things make me whimper with invalid frustration.
I have 3 specific images I have deposited into my spank bank of reason. No, not so I can go masturbate freely to the lustful rhythm of my clitoris, more like, thought candy for the night when all the other humans I love have failed me, or like, when I have failed them?
2 are of the female race. They intrigue me. They have puzzle pieces that don’t easily fit into the full picture that is them. They keep me awake @ night wondering about them so. I love their colours.

The other is a male specimen. This one haunts my dreams occasionally. Once I dreamt that they were an unknown roommate living in a loft I had no idea was a part of my abode & above their sleeping quarters was an adorable sign that had the words “Carved of Flesh to Eat Your Young” hanging like those nooses I so adore on the game Hangman. He was reading, laying with his back to his pillow, a shadow & claw volume of sorts, & someone came into the apartment building trying to kill my beloved friend & I, & instead HE killed them with a Rabbitslayer (see 'Chaos War' article). When he was done he simply pointed to the adorable sign, smiled a smile of satisfaction & prophesy, & ascended his ladder to resume reading.

There was another dream where he knocked boots with one of my besties & I was jealous but arguing with my thought propelling self as to why I should be jealous because I was still married in my dream too. He was in a pre-existing state in this dream too, like how I imagine him to possibly be in his past. But I didn’t even know him in my past! It’s funny here too because I feel like some part of me knows some part of him, like a Children-of-the-Grave (see Never-Never Boys) typed thing?

Either way, one should feel so lucky that they partake of my daily reasoning so frequently. But in the swing of things I feel lucky to have them to think of. It’s strange & arduous.

I hate my cogs of reasoning. For keeping me imprisoned. For being far too creative for their own good. I am like the Victor Frankenstein of reasoning. These parts of me have no boundaries. That is a boon, I feel that with every fiber of my unbeing, but @ the same time, it disqualifies me from so much. It easily removes me from the sane category & puts me in the predisposition of ‘highly unplausible’.

Eff you Fates.

Valentine Weekend

For Valentine's Day I got:

• snow! Lots of it.
• Roses that cost 61 fat ones
• A coffee mug that came with those 61 dollar roses that stated it 'loved me'.
• New carpet in the living room & bedroom
• to see that Percy Jackson movie which was surprisingly entertaining
• 'The Breakfast of Champions' by Kurt Vonnegut in the mail (which I fucking adore the shit out of)
• A nice new clean & dustless bedroom in which I was able to sort through a lot of our olde shit so I could make room for our new shit
• Adorable homemade Valentine cards from my spawn

It seemed like there was other stuff I was going to mention, but whatever, I'm in a hurry because I have to brave the snow today for an appointment with my therapist.

But yeah, those roses didn't happen on purpose, I guess Snookms was tryna be all thoughtful by going to a florist & by the time he got out of there he about fainted from what they charged. He initially had hopes that he would get me flowers & then stop by Sprint to buy me a new case for my 'new' phone. But it stopped after 61 dollars came out for the total for a dozen roses & a sunflower. Kinda funny but yesterday he came home from work & was all, "So & so got his flowers from Kroger, THEY WERE 20 DOLLARS, & so did 'so & so' and 'so & so'....but guess what? They got a 20 dollar thank you too!"

This made me giggle alot alot because I took the initiative to go to 'Tasty's', an adult novelty store up the street to finagle around for some sexy lingerie to wear for Snookms on Valentine's Day. Or rather, NIGHT. But uh... yeah, I found what I had hoped, 2 separate sets which were hella pricey considering what they were made of. The 'picture' made the ensembles look like they were going to be made out of far more than just lace & strings, but when I got home & wrastled em on, it was basically spandex for dummiez. But Snookms liked it just fine & I didn't feel all objectified like I was thinking I might. It was pretty cool.

Here's a boobed covered version of one of the ensembles. Mine was tit-less:

The ladies there were really helpful & kind of hot? The chick that rang me up reminded me of some hardcore church lady that really knew her lore in sex toys. & the other I'm pretty sure was a 40 or 50 year old undercover Dominatrix. The store had this sort of shabby chic charm expect everything was lavished in black & red instead of pink & pastel green. There was an 'upstairs' that led to nothingness that I had to hold myself back from climbing upon on more than one occasion & most of the fellers that came in there turned right back around once they got to the back of the store. There was this 'Show Stealer' cock in the back that had me laughing out loud for it's enormity.

So yeah, I couldn't find any pics for the other ensemble, it was basically a dress made of fishnet, like a mini dress & came with a matching thong & the part that hold your boobs was made of this geisha looking red material & the boobs had no cover except for this black tie up ribbon. I looked alot better in it than I thought I would?

Also, yeah the carpets. Snookms took it upon himself to put them in this weekend, he worked so damn fast, got one room done in 2 hours & the other one in 1. The hardest part about it all was just moving all our shit out of the way. But it gave me an opportunity to move stuff around (one of my favourite things to do!) & dust & re-organize things. It looks really good.

Katie wrote a lovely review of my book "Lucifer's Scar; A Love Story" a while back & I wanted to link to it again here. I was really walking around on eggshells the whole time she read it because I knew she'd be honest if she didn't like it, (which I highly appreciate!) & she wound up enjoying it anyway. The review is really thorough & she got all the parts of the story I was trying to tell & by the end of me reading her review I was experiencing some hardcore, toe-curling delight.

I took the review of Adam Lowe's Trog Rose down that I wrote because he suggested I try submitting it for publication for a few online magz. So I am trying my hand @ that to see what comes of it. Adam is fantabulous. If I don't get any nibbles it'll be back here where I will pet it & love it & be proud to call it my own.

I had a really great 3 day weekend with the family & I miss having them around already. We sat around & attempted to watch 'Couples Retreat' last night & as boring as it was they actually stayed around & watched the whole thing. I was really surprised because I kept dosing off & only woke up in time to see Vince Vaugn owning ass on Guitar Hero. But it was a pretty huge yawn fest.

Welp, I'm off like a dirty shirt.

Hand Me the Mace of Gabriel & Nothing More!

Starting to get all them creepy international spam comments again, glad I've got comment moderation on. I just hope they don't start blasting my page with 50 of them a day & shit, like they did @ The Vampire Newspaper. Sheeeeeeeesh.

Let's see... Legion! Don't waste yer billz. I mean, if the story line would have just stole my story line from Lucifer's Scar, I would've been an insolent, yet happy camper. But it did not. The one liners were fucking embarrassing (almost as embarrassing as me?) & the female protags SUCKED. "Here, you take this little gun preggerz gurl, God Forbid you do anything B R A V E? I mean, Paul Bettany as Micheal/Michael (I always get them two mixed up!) was absolutely beautiful, don't get me wrong here. They couldn't have picked a better fellow for the role, but everyone/thing else fucked it all up. Except for Gabriel. & his MACE. & alluding to possible Michael/Gabriel lovinz. That would've been such a treat. But no. No. No. NO. There was also such potential with the Heavens & talk of going to war. But it failed. #FAIL.

Moon. Good movie. I liked it. I can't really say a whole lot about this movie because it would pretty much spoil the whole thing. It unfolds pretty quickly & then you are left toying around with Sam Rockwell imagery throughout the rest of the flick, which was a - ok! in my book. He's fucking beautiful. So is Kevin Spacey, even though he is just a 'voice' in this movie, but hey, I'll take it. Robo-Kevin! The atmosphere in the movie is very creepy/gorgeous too, you definately get a good feel of the isolation they are tryna impose, like in Metroid.

It's kind of funny here, & I just came to this realization a year or two ago, but I noticed that there is this distinct look Snookms has & when I see it in others male or female, I hone in on it quickstyle & feel automatically attracted to them just BECAUSE they resemble the Snookms' look. I would've never in a million years gave a shit about Sam Rockwell had he not reminded me of Snookms first. So I guess mostly I am attracted to potential Snookms Clones?

What else, what else!?

Been taking bubble baths everynight, courtesy of Leticia's recommendations. It's been a sanity saver for sure, I light candles, drink tea & bring my laptop so I can listen to my blipfmstation. I heart it alot-alot.

Today is Groundhog's Day & also my mom & dad's anniversary. I think it's 37 years today. Wow. It seems alot longer. They still fight like they're fucking newlyweds though. & make up like em too. Srsly.

Still tryna read up on the Shadow & Claw series. I'm @ the part where they are JUST starting to talk about this whole 'Abaia' thing. I am intrigued to the fullest extent, it is just so hard to squeeze in free time to read it so I take it to bed with me & fall asleep reading about sharp toothed mermaid thingamahoozits & dream of them in my own little urban mindwarp. Mermaids with oozis/ies?

Was taking a nice bubble bath last night & listening to Metallica's 'Call of Cthulhu', feeling inspired to write some more in Teenage Wasteland. That project has been put on the back burner for quite some time, I'm ready to dust it off again & get down to the nitty gritty. Mr. Ortiz has joined the FB wagon as of late so he can now monitor my progress more astutely! Not that that was the reason he joined of course, but, yeah, that's what I'm thinking about mostly. I'm such a twerp!

Just recently I got sort of 'best of' compilation of H.P. Lovecraft's works; can you believe this, but I've never read any of his shite til just recently? I was intrigued by the prose for a sample of the 'Call of Cthulhu' story & I'm like, "Fuck baby, where have you BEEN all my life?" I love it when you stumble/happen acrossed a thing like that & it just speaks to your innerds & makes them glow with toxic delight.

Well I have way more to babble about, but I have to get ready for my appointment with the therapist this afternoon. ONE DAY I'LL BE A THERAPIST TOO GODDAMMIT.

Someone bake me a cake because I am HUNGRY

It is snowing & I love it. The blizzard intrigues me!

Well I have been a real busy body lately; not much time for anything I like to do on teh intarwebz. But that is a-ok! with me, it's kind of nice to have a thing to do & a penny to earn. I think what gets most difficult about my new life schedule is those weeks I have nothing but appointments once the spawn get home from their according academies. This week = Social Group for Jr. on Monday, Chess club & ISTEP tutoring for Jr. & Fezziwig on Tuesday, Speech therapy for Jr. on Wednesday & then the light @ the end o' the tunnel is Date Night with Mysty. We are probably going to see Legion, which I'm pretty jazzed about, BUT! I am trying NOT to get my hopes up too high in case it pisses me off with bullshit friendly shaningans. Sometimes movies like that just don't dig deep enough? But we shall see!!!

I can't even remember what happened on Friday except for giant sub sammiches from Penn Station that can clog an artery in 5 seconds or less. Oh, wait. The lunch date! I almost forgot. That went exceptionally well. I met w/ the spawns' school psychologist @ the school then we rode together to Panera where we met up with Jr.'s old occupational therapist & speech therapist. These ladies combined could fuse together to become one of the most formidable Voltron variations I know of? All 3 of them are in their 40's, dashingly gorgeous & charming, passionate, & unconditional in their love & judgements upon others & have the fashion sense of David Bromstad. I was so flattered that they wanted to take me out on a lunch date to celebrate my memoir. & let's face it; I know my book wasn't the greatest, there were so many typos, a lot of bullshit prose & just a bunch of footsteps in the dark. But the fact that they took the time to read it meant so much to me. They could've got bored & chucked it. Or offended & disregarded it. Instead they took time out of their lives & even sought to give me a card, each of them signed & enclosed a personal insight to what they felt about the book. They even bought me a beautiful necklace & some earrings. I was so touched I almost started crying. Then they even told me congratulations in the middle of our lunch date & started clapping. I wanted to sink into my seat! On the way home I had a really great convo w/ the psychologist, (we always have these!) & I drove home in my own car once she dropped me off feeling such a deep sense of connection with this woman. She's in charge of the Autism Awards Ceremonies in Wayne Township & wants to see if she can get any costume stores to donate a few Star Wars get ups so all the adult participants of the ceremony can don space gear this year. I think that would be EPIC. So if any of you know of a place that might be willing to do something like this, let me know. I've scoped out a few places on the net, but so far I haven't got any nibbles. It'd be for a great cause!

Saturday! Oh dear god Saturday! It was a nightmare. A mess. A week ago I had done what my sister in law likes to call an 'initial' clean on the spawns' bedroom. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had contemplated it to be, but it still needed decluttering in the closet, in their drawers, in the TOYBOXES. So Saturday was the day our 5 member household combined efforts to do so. We emptied out the closet, the drawers, the toyboxes. Stuff was everywhere. On our bed. On the dining room table, all the heck over the surrounding floors. There was nowhere to sit & rest at one point! But we were adamant & by 3:30 am we were able to clean up most of the disaster. Snookms even installed a ceiling light in the spawns room which I kept giving him shit about since he had to go up into the attic to do the electrical work. It is NOT to my advantage that he isn't a chicken baby. Damn you Paranormal Activity!

Sunday was another day at the new church. It went well. The pastor was talking about this story of Esther & her cousin Mord(e)cai. I really like the way he tells the stories too. It's not boring & full of inserts I want to term as bullshit.

Snookms & I had taken separate vehicles because he was invited to watch the Colts game afterwards out @ his momz & I knew I wasn't up for hanging out at someone else's pad all day considering we just did that at our own the day before, cleaning. So afterwards I took the She-Spawn with me whilst the other 2 remained with their dad & we had ourselves some fun.

We went to Peking Buffet for lunch in Plainfield & had a crab fest. By crab fest I mean unlimited amounts of crab, melted butter, lemon & soy sauce dip, & rice, rice baby. We ate till we exploded. Then we went next door to check out Rue 21, which is a clothing store I really like. It's a lot of cheaply made threads but hey man, they're pretty cute AND pretty cheap. She-Spawn found some really cool shoes & I got some sexy gun underwear & a cute yellow ninja top. She-Spawn got a chibi-ish looking alien one since she is obsessed with little green men/women.

We were going to venture to Best Buy afterward on a mad hunt for a Joy Division cd (I love how she loves what I love!) but after we realized how many bills we just dropped & decided to save it for another week. Instead we went to visit my momz & popz & just had a bunch of fun sitting around & chatting. My parents DVR everything (which I am starting to get pretty jealous of because I haven't ordered that yet on my own account!) so they had us stay & watch some great stand up comedy. I think the first one was an HBO special? Or maybe it was Showtime? It was a bunch of asian comedians (mostly filipino/a!) doing stand up at their finest, Slanted Comedy. I really loved it because there is so much inside humour from the filipino/a perspective & I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. I know Snookms would totally dig it cause he is forever tryna come up with lame ways to trump my ass cap-wise. The show was chock full of good ammo for Snookms.

Monday was busy but fun. After helping my sister in law with her cleaning biz & picking up the spawn & marveling at the blizzard we all sat around & watched District 9 which I fucking loved. I wasn't at all sure how I was going to feel about it until my mom & pops relayed to me some of the details of the movie. & my dad keeps tryna pimp Pandorum on me; he even bought it & is all like, "You need to come over this week & watch it with your mother & I". So that needs to go on the calendar as well.

I also came home delighted to find an email from SexScenes, asking if I'd read over a couple of chapters from her latest WIP to see if she got the feel for one of her characters right. I was fucking FLATTERED, cause she's pretty top-notch when it comes to writers in my book. (You people/posthumans know who you are!)



"I'm in love & DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!" ~Buddy the Elf

Vade retro Satanas

Holla!

Okay so that is my chant for today. I've been creeped out since yesterday doing all that exstensive Anneliese Michel research. & I don't even know WHY I am doing it, except for the simple fact that subject matter of that aptitude intrigues me to no end. I know it'll come in handy one day, I just don't know when.

But yes, this case of Anneliese. It's what the Exorcism of Emily Rose was loosely based off of. & that is not even why I started in on it, I think it started from wanting to show my nephews some oujia board stuff on youtube & the threads slowly lead to stuff about demon possession & then of course dear ol' Anneliese. First I watched some supposed actual recordings of the exorcism but I never like to rely on youtube for truths so I further researched & came across the actual movie they did of the exorcism with english subtitles because it was killing me to know what Anneliese was saying to the priests whilst they performed their exorcisms. I guess there was 6 demons? At one point she claimed to be Judas, then Lucifer, then Hitler, then Nero & some others I can't remember.

The actual footage is real creepy at this point, when Lucifer is speaking. He claims that he did not follow the lord's decrees & wished to reign alone. I so wanted to hear more! When the priests had initially thought they had banished all 6 the demons wound up coming back & claimed that they willed to go but that they were not allowed to do so. A couple days later Anneliese died & that is when the accusations started in regard to Anneliese being neglected & starved & such.

I guess I wanted to form my own opinion based on the information that was presented. I mean, I listened to that audio, & the way everything sounded, geeze it sounded awfully legit. My initial reaction was to be angry at the parents & the priests too, but when I read up on more details & listened to all that audio ... I dunno. Pretty spooky.

There was another part that had me sorta creeped out & that is when the priests had brought 3 separate cups of water into the room where Anneliese stayed, one blessed by Romans, another blessed by something or another, & one that was just plain tap & that is the only one she willed to drink. The priest that was repeating the account of this had also said that Anneliese kicked one of the cups & that the water managed to remain in the cup while it hung suspended in the air for a time. Eeeeeeeeeek!

So that is enough of that.

Our weekend was busy, Friday we did our usual outing & abouting. Saturday was a nice treat, I thought Snookms had to work for a few hours but he called off at the last minute. It was quite scrumptious to wake up next to his gorgeous skin so close to mine own. I love the way his flesh smells in the morning!

After the day got it's start she-spawn met up with my mom & niece & we hung out & had girly time at the dollar store. They had Throwback Pepsi so I was pretty jazzed about that. There was also some Jonas Brothers houseslippers I kept giving my niece some shit about.

My mom, being the sweet & ever loving mom that she is, offered to buy them for my niece & I had to stifle a giggle because you could tell she was tryna be nice but at the same time is like, "Uh fuck no gramawmaw, I'm too old for this shite!" So then I kept telling my niece that I felt compelled to purchase them for her anyhow & threatened to smuggle them in the hood of her jacket. We giggled about that for a time & headed home to find out what Snookms & the remaining company were doing. He decided to take the other 2 boyspawn out to his sister's for a sleepover so then Carmen & I got to hang out some more with my momz & she wound up coming with us to see The Lovely Bones.

It was pretty much what I expected it to be but not what I had hoped. It was, after all PG-13. I have harboured a secret crush for Stanley Tucci so watching this didn't make me hate him. I wanted to see less dead little girls & more uh ... you know. The bathtub scene in the beginning had my heart feelin all confuzzled.

Something here I think is that the unknown scares us. We make our own stories up as we go when we don't know about a thing, & I think it's not any different for the story of pedophiles. It's a pretty taboo subject; nobody wants to 'go there' when it comes to taking the innocence of a young child. But I have my own personal views on that & there is a post I once read from one of Adam Lowe's many blogs that I could really relate to. If I find it, I'll link y'all to it. Some food for thought, at least in my own crazy grey matter? Oh, wait, HERE IT IS!

Since I had a house full of mostly prepubescent penis we elected to go to Walmart late night Sunday & one of the nephews had leftover money to spend from his birthday so he bought a bunch of airsoft gear, then we went to White Castle & I ordered a case of cheeseburgers. I had never been blessed with such an ample opportune to do so, it was rather liberating to carry a case o' $23.00 meat around in a cardboard suitcase.

So we get home & Snookms' Avatar lovin pal is there & winds up taking Snookms & she-spawn to go see it with him whilst the rest of the testiculars stayed with me. They had never seen Paranormal Activity so we turned out all the lights, grabbed our miniature cheeseburgers & had us a night. It was hella funny to see preteens get that afraid. Cute, fun, & downright hilarious. They kept going on about Katie's hot rack & how they wished for it to be possessed. I say go for it?

I have a really funny picture of them all on the couch snuggled together but my phone is refusing to behave itself otherwise I'd share. Perhaps when the bill gets paid appropriately?

Monday was MLK day, so we had it off to do whatever we liked, even though I didn't. It was spent cleaning up & taking the kiddoes back to their mother hen.

Oh! We also tried out Mike's sister's new church that she kept telling us all about on Sunday & it wasn't bad at all. It's in what used to be an old Marsh grocery store building, right next to the McDonald's Snookms & I used to work at, so that was pretty cool. It was one o' them fancy grocery stores too, had pianos & chandeliers for lighting fixtures. Interesting to see it in this light? The atmosphere of the church was very Joel Osteen like in the sense that they didn't preach down or at you. It was like a self help kind of atmosphere, & there was nobody there that gave us condescending glares just cause I wear chains that hang past my knees or whatever. So we shall see what comes of it.

See my thing with beliefs here is that, well. Geeze. I don't even know. I mean, I believe in the same Jesus that I guess most Christians are raised to believe in, but at the same time, I don't go for a lot of the other stuff that goes behind it. Not that I hate anyone that does go for it, it's just not what floats my boat. & the difficult dynamic about Christianity is that most everyone in that boat will shake their dissaproving finger at you for doing what floats your own boat.

This is where Snookms & I collide most. I mean, you guys should have seen his face when he first laid eyes on the actual real live copy of Lucifer's Scar! I thought my heart was going to tear in two! He has a very conventional & standard set of beliefs for his own self, which I do my best to give him room to have. But sometimes he is just completely assaulted by my love for what he deems 'blasphemous'. & I can understand it if I put myself in his shoes, but sometimes I think he has a very difficult time putting himself in mine.

It can get disheartening at times, but it always comes down to love for him & I. We love each other & are willing to put our differences aside because we feel that way about one another. It's not easy at all for me to agree to disagree with him, but we do it because we can. I can't always say the same for others. A lot of people don't get Snookms & I, & I think it even creeps a lot of people out. But I'm not here to be un-creepy?

Well, she-spawn has fallen asleep watching 10 Things I Hate About You, & I have a Shadow & Claw series plus word bank that I need to catch up on, so I will quit the babbling.

& remember the chant babies!

Fun Friday!

Snookms is trying to make gold. & zinc. FROM PENNIES & TOILET BOWL CLEANER. No lie. There is a blow torch on at full force in my kitchen & 2 curly headed nimrods attempting free masonry typed things. Snookms is also wearing a Colts jersey, automatically dubbing him 'hobo'. So there you have it; hobo-alchemy.

Alright. First things first!

"Lucifer's Scar; A Love Story" is here for your reading pleasure. (Mom?)



Only one thing displeases me, & I know of no other way to remedy this issue ... It is really not THAT big of a deal for me, more of an obsessive compulsive typed hang up but the uh... chapters? They don't start on a new page! They'll just start wherever the fuck they feel like starting, so not all of them are starting on new pages like you'd typically see in a book, even though I formatted the document to do so. & I'm thinking maybe I should've used the 'page break' option to avoid that? But yeah, coulda', shoulda', woulda'. Oh well. You live & you learn. Wut can I say?

So yeah. Totally jazzed about that. I got mine in the mail yesterday, after I got home from dusting rich peoples' knick-knacks with Kristi, my sister in law. I think she is pretty much the best human being to have for a sister in law? I've never wanted to punch her & that is always a plus. That is hard to avoid with in laws. Also, Snookms mom falls in this category too. She's a keeper.

Got the most ADORABLE fucking Krampus shirk in the mail courtesy of the illustrious Jess. She knows just what I like:



I've already got quite a few compliments on it. I adore how there's petrified childranz in Krampus' little backpack o' love. Squeeeeeeeeak.

Hmmm. Other stuff...

Stupid stoopid me thought there was a lunch date today with my spawns' school psychologist, we were s'posed to meet @ Panera for lunch celebrate my other book, but I was damn wrong, it's not til next Friday. I felt like a complete ass in her office chopping it up with her & she's all, "So, you think you're gonna be able to make it to lunch with us next week ('us' being the speech therapist & occupational therapist my son used to have when he was at that school) & I'm all like, "Uhm. Huh/WHAT?" So yeah. Total ass. But it wasn't a complete loss. I got to see the school psych's pretty/gorgeous face (she has this sort of illuminating beauty? It makes the halls glow when she walks down them, kinda like that balrog beauty?) & she lent me "Pretending to be Normal" by Liane Holiday Willey, which I've been wanting to read FOREVER & a day now. It's about this lady that has Asperger's & how she didn't find out til she was much older, like maybe 40 older, or something? I dunno. I'm too lazy to do research right now for the sake of sounding un-ass-like. & besides, that usually happens regardless?

So all day long I've had 'Tegan & Sara's' "Hell" stuck in my brain on repeat today. I am in serious lust with that song & it's all Brandi Candi's fault. Mysty keeps giving me shit for it BUT I DUN CARE. I love it. S'kay though. I still love her Christ-Raping-Black-Metal-Lovin TOOSH. We went to see 'Youth in Revolt' last night becuz we both have pedophile like crushes on Michael Cera. At least that's how he makes me feel when I get a boner from him? He totally reminds me of Snookms when I first met him. That whole 'I'm a virgin but I don't give a shit' persona that he put out. & that gentle nature of his, it's very feminine but such a goddamn turn on. Snookms totally has that & can pull it off. Mysty & I had a verrrrrrrrrrrrrry hard time stiffling giggles all throughout the night.

She looked so damn beautiful too. She was 'Professional Mysty' last night. & she has sekritz too that only people in her soopersekritklub can know about, but I know of them. She's awesome like that. She also bought me an adorable "Jack; the Pumpkin King" purse & I used it today. I plastered it with all the Smurfs pins Let-Dawg bought me for Christmas & it looks adorable. I don't give a shit HOW LAME anyone thinks I am!

Snookms, spawn & I had dinner @ Panda Express tonite & something about all that MSG makes me really hyper, & the spawn too 'cause we were having way too much fun at SuperTarget pushing each other around in the carts like we were in real life Mario Kart. We were pretending to be in the MUSHROOM GORGE!

I thought there was a whole lot of other shit to talk about but I guess not. I already promised myself I wasn't going to bitch about Castle Age OR Vamp Wars for at least another two weeks.

Friendo?

Here today, gone tomorrow/tomarrow...

I think finally my regularly schedule programming is back to it's usual self for now? We shall see?

What with the spawn getting sick a week before winter break let out & 3 weeks of irresponsible bliss, things definately required a different style of living.

So glad to be able to resume my daily agenda of morning coffee with Erica & Stephen's rants, amongst other favourite haunts I visit on a regular basis.

So like, I was able to finally upload Lucifer's Scar successfully onto Lulu! & I didn't have to sacrifice any of the adorable images my spawn worked so hard on either. It took many tries & failed attempts & a whole evening of being away from the family to do so, but it is done.

I am now awaiting my own copy to be delivered in the mail so that I can make sure it's up to par with my preference of 'presentable'. I shall let you know how it fairs friends.

I did elect for it to be letterhead size, so it's kinda graphic novel style, but not quite? I wanted to try something different, I just hope it isn't too much of a risk. The preview Lulu provides of the book shows that some of the text is being cut off, but I am hoping that it's just because of Lulu & not my hogwash theory of what 'creative' means. Again, I shall let you all know.

Went sledding for the first time on Saturday evening with Snookms & spawn. It was possibly the best kind of free fun you can get in the winter.

Yes, this was the big fucking hill I slid down on. There was a wee baby that took it upon itself to sled down shortly after I did, resulting in my skidding down halfway with my ass faced to desired place of destiny. I was so afraid I was going to crash into this kiddo & ruin its life! My face was all a flutter with snow dust & my neck became numb for the rest of our stay there, but goddamn, it was worth it.

I was in love with the dark wintry eve that night, it created this atmosphere that one might experience when admiring those small scale towns they have on display @ Menards regarding happy jolly Christmas time.

& then we rushed to Kmart afterwards to score some hot chocolate, marshmallows & whipped cream to top the evening off. Definately an evening that is going to go in the memory book of my heart.

Been playing a lot of Guitar Hero 3 as of late, being that the spawn got it for Christmas. We have it for PS2 already, but the controller is all fuckin whack & the one Fezziwig got me for my berfday causes me to fail; it's meant for Rockband I guess? I just know that I do much better on this here Wii controller that is MEANT for Guitar Hero & not Rock Band. I'm still not back at my 'expert' level of playing, but I'm getting there, rehashing my love for Social Distortion's 'Story of My Life' & 'Paint it Black'. Though I prefer Black Dahlia's version!

Was able to take down all our Christmas exploits last night too. The house looks so empty now? But in a good way, so I won't bitch. Snookms & I were marveling over all the Christmas loot we actually got the kiddoes, most of it being games & dvds...

She-Spawn got Guitar Hero 3 for Wii w/ the controller, Degrassi season 8, Guitar Hero Metallica for PS2, & Spirit Tracks for Nintendo DS.

Fezziwig got Lego Rockband for Wii, Call of Duty 3 for Wii, Cars Race o Rama for Wii, some Need for Speed game (I think it's Nitro or Carbon?) for Wii, & the newest Ben10 flick, the one that's an actual motion picture I think? 8 Crazy Nights, Joe Dirt (that David Spade flick where he has a mullet?) I can't keep up these days!

Jr. got Bully for Wii, The Grinch (animated), Majoras Mask for N64, the new Thomas the Tank Engine where their mouths actually move when they speak, (the oldskool Thomas is way better IMO) & Mario Kart for Wii.

Snookms got the first 2 seasons of Scrubs, the Skillet cd, & Avatar (based off the Nickelodeon cartoon) for PS2

& I got Pink Floyd the Wall on cd.

So that's what good in the way of electronics anyhow. It made for a damn hefty stack to file in our ever growing shelving unit.

Snookms, spawn & I are going to attempt to make another sledding trip when he gets home from work & I am finding myself excited over this.

Watched 'No Country for Old Men' the other night w/ Snookms & I really dug this movie, but I kept dozing off at the end off and on so I need to rewatch it. That bounty hunter though? Fukkin A! Now THAT'S an Astaroth, MY idea of Astaroth. That's who I was tryna picture before I could readily come back with Sam Rockwell as a runner up in Teenage Wasteland. That pneumatic contraption he was using to open doors with & shit? Holy fuck. Badass. & the inflection in his voice when he spoke & such... no doubt about it, he is the heart of Astaroth. Sheeesh.

I still dig me some Sam Rockwell though.

There was this very poetic sense about the movie that I totally dug, plus it had this 70's vibe to it that I drool all over when it comes to certain flicks. Few succeed in attaining that sense of retro that I hold in my heart as dear, considering that is what was surrounding me in my infant years. There is this very autistic form of reasoning I hold fast to in that 'era' (if you will) where certain colours represent emotions, hairstyles & fluffy moustaches & such, do you even know what I am saying here? Textures & patterns are very important too, they have to be spot on for me, body language & such. It's ... weird is all. I'm a big whiny face when it comes to the details of certain things I hold so dear. It's for a reason, I can promise you that.

But yes, Snookms got stood up on a movie date last night, we were supposed to rewatch it but I fell asleep! I was so tired, I couldn't help it. I elected to do the rest of my sleeping in bed, (I was falling asleep on the couch like an old man! Sitting up!) & crawled into my sleeping quarters. The last few minutes of Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church thingy was on so I fell asleep watching that.

We had this strange moment of clarification the other morning, Snookms & I, in the least expected moment too. Right before we were about to have sex. He lay there, just staring at me. I knew he had things to tell me, there are always so many things to say when one suffers with what he suffers with. "But now?" is what I was asking at the time. I was okay with it though. & I could tell he was too. & then we got down to other things & it made for some great music between the sheets. That kind of music where you feel as though all is well, even though it ain't?

If that ain't love, I dunno what is folks.

Boooooooo!

Boo on Lulu!

I am having one HELLUVA time uploading Lucifer's Scar onto Lulu. First off, it DID initially allow me to upload it as a PDF file, considering the funky fontz I'm tryna use, okay? Well, I decided to take it down right quick so I could incorporate some images my spawn created (courtesy of Paint, woohoo!) & then uploaded it right, fine ... right? Well, then I had to add a couple more images & now Lulu is giving me some shit about the 'Times' font not being embedded as a font. I'm like, "Wut? I'm not even USING a Times font fuckers!"

So that's what's been driving me bonkers this afternoon. This kind of shit is making me want to smash stuff.

Oh yeah. Christmas. I haven't talked about Christmas, because it was a nightmare before Christmas.

I'm sure everyone knows all about our plague sufferings what with my insolent whining via Facebook updates.

Snookms Grandpa passed away a week before Christmas too.

Christmas itself was not so bad, at least no one was sick, so we were all pretty jazzed about that.

& I got a trench knife & some Victoria's Secret fragrances that I really adore. Got to see Sherlock Holmes. Lazed around for the remaining week of winter break. That was fun.

First 2 days back I played bloody maid & helped my sister in law with her cleaning biz, dusting thousand dollar knick knacks for rich people. It was actually kind of fun?

I'm hoping she can use me on a regular basis, I could use the extra cash.

Composing an interview for Betsy (aka SexScenes) (aka Ainsley) in regard to her latest release Quencher. I was hella stressing it at first cause I didn't want to be sounding like a newbie ass/fail, but she seemed pleased well enough with what I came up with. Should be in Electric Spec sometime in February? I'll keep you all updated.

So yeah. Mostly I want to bitch about Lulu & how much I am pissing myself off with my lack of knowledge. Hopefully I'll figure it out. I'm frightened of the notion that I'll have to delete the images my spawn worked so heartily on.

Fezziwig made me the most ADORABLE cup of filth & blasphemies for the "Whore of Babylon" chapter header.





& also an equally endearing papal tiara (Triregnum!) for the "To Mega Therion" chapter.

& the she-spawn composed a Beelzebub fly I want to squee all over. It's not fair I tell you, not fucking fair.

Other stuff I am currently contemplating is personal info Mysty relayed to me about somebody I THOUGHT liked me but now I am of course questioning the hell out of their motives for even being my friend. I hate trying not to care about that stuff?

I missed a lot of potential fun dates over winter break too, one with Mysty, another with Kat. & I'm way the fuck behind on learning all about Severian. I'm going to get a big fat F in my new book club already! At least I have a cool name for the Spear of Destiny in Lucifer's Scar courtesy of the Shadow & Claw series.