Dirty or clean, I'm a famous machine!

(image source via helenofdesTroy)

Oh boo! This is going to be somewhat of a sick rant. But it is what I am. Pretty sure I have an ear infection. It all started on Thursday when I was working with my sister in law. We were on our way to our last house for the day & it was going on about 90 degrees with no air conditioning & I just felt my stomach wretch horribly. I almost thought I was going to shit my pants right there in the bosses' vehicle. It passed & I was fine, then another tumultous wretch. This one sent chills down me & I could just envision splattering my innerds all over some rich person's perfect carpet. So yeah, Kristi stopped, I ran into McDonald's... but NOTHING! I really had to scratch my noggin at that one. I was fine again, just a bit weak & wary of my situation. Kristi took the liberty of grabbing me an ice water & after that I took it slow for the day but I was fine. We chocked it up to maybe dehydration because it was so ridiculously hot.

I get home & my body is full of aches & weakness so I lay down until it is time to eat dinner. Still felt weak when I exerted myself physically, so I just took it really easy for the rest of the night. The next day my throat was itchy, scratchy & hurting. Mostly when I swallowed & mostly on the left side of my throat, like it was connected to my ear. By Saturday I was a mess. I woke up, not getting out of bed for like 4 hours, thinking I was okay because I was spending lotsa quality time with Snookms just chatting & giggling & watching tv & eventually sexxing each other up. As soon as I stood though, I thought I would fall over. So dizzy! Chills, aches, weakness, ear hurting & making fluttery noises to remind me of my plight all day. So I spent it mostly hibernating in my room in my Hello Kitty robe, alternating moaning with reading cause I had just picked up Sylvia Plath's "The Bell Jar" on Friday when I went to snag my mom some birthday loot @ SuperTarget. I started reading the book sometime around 4 that afternoon, stopped long enough to watch this B horror movie called The Shadow Within, eat, sleep, & pee, & I was done reading it by 3 in the morning. That book will probably get you the best experience for you money if you read it while you are physically ill! I am telling you! I sincerely felt everything Plath intended. Of course it doesn't help that I've been down her road (minus the electro-shock therapy, fuck! I can't even imagine!) but still, being ill like that made me feel really in touch with her emotions to the point that I'd cried several times in the middle of reading. It was such a beautifully tragic story & just totally was able to express so many of my sentiments exactly. The line that struck at the recesses of my heart most?

~"Everything she said was like a secret voice speaking straight out of my own bones."

By the time I finished the book I was ready for a bowl of Cocoa Krispies. I was running a temp too but it was kinda cool because I always feel kind of out of touch with everything when I am feverish. I was pretty delirious by then & the kiddoes were still awake so they totally humoured me.

Today I am nowhere near normal, my ear still aches like a motherfucker everytime I swallow & my judgement feels all cloudy right now, but I am on antibiotics so I should be back to my regularly scheduled programming in no time. Snookms has been extra super helpful & maybe it's just me but he has been looking extremely attractive while I hast been sick. I mean, I see nothing but pure beauty when I stare his way, but there is something about that 5 o'clock shadow of his that just magnetizes my appetite to his flesh when I am sick. I want to eat him. Gimme a "C'mere Spear" someboday!

There is a lot of other poignant moments I am totally forgetting to mention here, but I don't mind about not remembering at this moment. I am too sick to care; the only thing I DO care about right now is this song on repeat in my head: OVER & OVER & OVER

My best friends are Smith & Wesson

(via fuckyeahkillbill)

Oh what's this? I have time? What is that even? Because I don't even know these days!

Okay, so somehow I stumbled upon being able to have time to go to the Famous Monsters Convention with Mysty & her other bff Machell. I dragged along on Nothingness allllllll the day long, pushing through the day the way Superman surges forth on Kryptonite. I literally didn't think I was going to make it through my work day. 3 houses & I was down for the count. I srsly do not understand how my boss does it. She is made of sheer will, that woman!

So yeah, trekked through the day & got home with no time to lose; shit, shaved, & showered. Couldn't even chat! Met up @ the Metal Mansion of Mayhem & Mysty talked me into sporting fake eyelashes for the con. I never tried them before so wearing them all day felt like tunnel vision & ridiculousness but everytime I looked @ Mysty & Machell they looked adorable so I was thinking maybe I didn't look as bad as I was feeling & picturing myself to be?

We get to the hotel the con was being held at just fine, & right off there is a person struttin aboot in a Predator suit. Things got residually better from there & before you knew it I had forgotten all about wanting to die that day. There was even a Frazetta booth. I gathered up some doll hairs for an Evil Dead shirk for me, a Freddy Krueger one for Fezziwig, an Alien vs. Marvin the Martian one for shespawn & also snagged her & I an Evil Dead necklace & I gots me some Batman Returns version Catwoman earrings. They is darlin. I didn't nab any goods for Snookms because he is like a recovering meth addict when it comes to horror movies... he just tries to stay the heck away from it all since he was overexposed to it all as a kiddo I guess? Meybbee I could've grabbed some Nosferatu merch & tricked him into thinking it was Joel Osteen? Whatever though. It was great fun. Also, Mysty entered her Lily, The Wife of Halloween tattoo into the black & white tat contest & won first place too. VICTORY! She deserves it. It is such a beaut.

I came home around 9 thirty ish & took the spawn out for a White Castle dinner. Had fun eating for the first time that day & almost od'ed on the unhealthy ingestion of it all. I scarfed those little puppies down quickstyle. I came 'this close' to buying The Exorcist' @ Walmart & bringing it home to let the spawnage watch for fun spooks but thought it through a little more carefully. Oh well. Maybe next week?

Saturday I elected to take shespawn & her cousin to see the latest Twilight. What is it, Eclipse right? Yeah. I had my open minded helmet on for this latest set & you know what though? I liked it. I really really liked it. I keep hearing all this stuff about how Bella's whooped & how Bella can't make a decision for herself & that she needs a dude in her life to go on, but I did not get that impression. The whole movie I was looking really far into it all, waiting for her passiveness to anger or outrage me, but it did not. Maybe everyone is just sippin on the hatorade because she has two gorgeous young boys fighting for her & they both give her the room to be snuffleupagus with the boths of em. & this was freaking my shit out BIG TIME but Jacob is SHARKBOY. Shespawn told me about halfway through the movie, & perhaps it is olde news to everyone else but I was like, "OMFG NO FUCKING WAYYYYY!!!" I felt so ashamed for drooling all the fuck over him throughout the movie, considering I could've been changing his diapers 12 years ago. FAKKKK. But see here, I am typically Team Edward (if I was to choose a team, which I do, I even have the shirt to prove it & shespawn haz team Jacob so I can tell her to piss off) but watching Eclipse made me wanna request a very shallow Team Transfer. Cause Edward was sporting the Fugly big time. I don't know what it was either, because again, I am usually thinking he is the cuter/better personality typed one of the crew. But WHATEVER. Fine. I drooled over the epic wolf muffin boy. But GOD did he deserve it. Even though he was an aggressive ass the whole time. I giggled embarrassingly loud in the theater when Jacob told Edward, "Besides, we all know I'm hotter than you"...

ENUFF OF THAT. I am broken hearted because Green Leaf, our local bubble tea haunt, is now closed on Sundays. I guess the hot Vietmanese chick has to go to church on Sunday. Wahhhhh.

Other stuff. What else! I can't ever remember anymore. Oh, 4th of July. Or rather, 3rd.... was fun. My mom & dad took it upon themselves to celebrate early so as not to cut into other pressing in law engagements on Snookms' end o' the schtick. The Renegade Wizard made some champion ass shishkabobs, chicken, & ribs on the barbeque. Just thinking about them right now is getting mah shit all aroused. Had a lot of good chuckles on account of my brothers. They even noticed that my hair was straightened! How's that for good ol' family lovin? Erin, aka Malakai, kept complimenting me on my hair & my octo/lego necklace & Mysty's pants, & then gave me ironic props when he saw me wearing Let-Dawg's Hollister shirk with Mysty's gothic pants of destruction the day before. HE's so good to meh.

Most of the conversation of my family revolves heavily around the latest movies we've seen or tv shows we've watched & then when Erin & I get in close quarters with one another it is then expanded even further to gaming, books & spirituality. I told him about how I found Ico @ Disc Replay for 30 bucks & he said it was probably one of the most well spent 2 hours of his life he'd ever had with a game. I started playing it last week but only made it to the first couch/save point after you get the princess out of the cage & haven't been able to pick it back up since. But so far I am seeing what everyone has said about it. A very mystical ambient quality to it that is rare to capture in gaming these days. Sort of gives me that warm familiar sensation that Legacy of the Wizard or even Dragon Warrior once had the ability to invoke within me? I am looking forward to gettng back into it this week while I have a few days off. Wish me luck!

My brother & I also talk a lot about writing & dreams when we get even deeper into our convo, but these days there ain't hardly time for all that. He likes to have dreams about getting possessed while I dream about spiders floating around my face that have special revelations encrypted into their movements about the end of the world. So between the two of us there is always a lot of fun stuff to chat up about.

Oh! & Snookms got a new job! It don't pay nearly as much as what he's got now, but it's far more stable than where he's at & we'll have insurance. Woo hooo! Wut the heck is that? So yeah, he's supposed to start in 2 weeks, so glad they are a respectable enough company to understand the importance of putting that in, y'know? He'll be working for the city, doing who knows what in the water department. He seems pretty happy & hopeful about it, a lot more hopeful than I've seen him in some time and that my friends, sounds good to me.

My bro Eric came over & spent the night 2 nights in a row with his daughter sometime last week too. I came home from work one afternoon to find that he had cleaned my whole kitchen for me, & then he was sitting @ the dining room table all damn night working on new floor plans for our whole house! Because that's how he rolls. He is pretty much better than David Bromstad. Had me all excited & optimistic for our minimal way of living right now. He's such a wizard when it comes to interior design. I am encouraging him full force to get into a school that will help nurture his knack for beautiful living; I just hope that it takes. He could make me a rich bitch one day, y'know?

Well I'm all thunk out about what to say, plus I'm starting to get Tumblr withdrawals, so away I will go to see if anyone has reblogged funny stuff about how ridiculously beautiful SHARKBOY is in the new Twilight.

Iron Girl

Went to a Floor show with Mysty on Wednesday & am still recovering from the vastness of it's impression upon me. The vocalist who is also the guitarist who is mesmerizing was wearing a Melt Banana shirt. His lyrics consist of being gay. Their sound, to me, resembles a cross between The Melvins & Melt Banana, but with the singer sounding like something quite original. We were at The Dojo, like, a few doors down from The Emerson in a tiny garage like building that consisted of 1 ceiling fan, a smoke machine & 50 man-sweaty punks. Mysty merged her way to the front where all the action was & I followed after her like a lost little puppy. My choice proved to be profitable though, cause my foot got smashed by some fool that was joshing around the vocalist once he decided to throw himself bodily into the small but devout crowd of jeering fans while still wailing away on his axe. It was was great. My right ear is still recovering from standing next to the PA system sans ear protection.



Also, ELVISH MEME.



rach (rhach) = curse

el = star

Cursed star! Ha!

M.I.A.

It's been awhile! I keep wanting to update here, especially with the new layout & such but I just haven't been able to bring myself to it. WHAT IS THAT!? I hate it!

I'd love to come here & update every day or every other day like I used to way back in the day, but it's just so different now since I started working outside of the home. Christ! I don't even know WHAT I do anymore. My new mission in life is to locate a flawless toilet? Fuck that noise.

Life has been mostly about sneaking a laugh with Snookms, or taking David to cello practice or having meaningful video game conversations with shespawn & Jr. In between I sleep & scrub rich people's posessions to a glimmering shine, or at least help my sister in law make it so. I cook stuff more now since we magically have less income these days, been on a filipino cuisine kick as of late. Lumpia, pansit, sinagan (sp?)...

I threw a huge temper tantrum (meaning I cussed in front of my kids) because the lumpia wrappers I bought sucked miserably. They were falling apart even as shespawn & I peeled them apart from one another. & then when we wrapped the ingredients with them they tore even moreso. It was frustrating as hell because you just spend so much time prepping ingredients & not to mention the cost of all that stuff. Going out at the last minute to buy lumpia wrappers is so not an option in Indiana. But whatever. We got it done, improvised what we could, they came out fine. I felt bad for throwing a hissy fit at first though.

As for David's cello practice, it's been going pretty okay. I say okay because he hasn't been practicing afterwards for 20 minutes a day like he's supposed to. He catches on really fast & gets bored easily when he's waiting for the others to latch on to what's being taught, so then he goofs off until it's showtime. I have had to rearrange my work schedule in order to take him everyday, he goes Monday - Thursday for an hour each day & it falls right in the middle of my usual working agenda. But it's been nice to sit & enjoy hearing him & the other kids in his class play. There is a surprising medley of emo-looking kiddoes in his group & they all play pretty great. The 2 teachers are a lot of fun to watch too, they aren't all like, uptight? I guess I would say? Like how you might imagine a cello teacher to be? They really remind me of comic book characters or something. One is a blonde & she's pretty cute. She makes me think of Violet from The Incredibles for some reason. I guess the way she talks & her sense of humour. She has this funny 'thing of the day' that she has the kids do before they all are dismissed & one day it was 'bumping fists', another day it was '3 snaps & a Z formation' & then today she had them do some really funny disco moves. The other teacher will blast Apocalyptica after the lesson's over in order to encourage & motivate the students. I think my favourite cover they do is 'Fade to Black'. I started getting all teary eyed & was thankful I had my sunglasses to hide underneath. That is the first song I remember Snookms playing & he did it so breathtakingly well considering he was only 17 @ the time. Most folks I knew then only had the rhythm part of the song down & when I heard him take it even further by playing the lead as well, well my jaw just dropped in adoration. Him having a ponytail with hair longer than mine didn't help much neither.

Learned how to change the radiator in our car somewhere in between all that time too. Our car kept overheating, mostly making that nasty scorching metal stench, so Snookms looked under the hood but couldn't see anything. We heard sizzling everytime we parked though & there was some steam coming out from the hood. When our intarwebz got shut off it made us do stuff that was more important than watching NCIS & logging onto Tumblr, so we figured we'd better take care of the radiator. It really wasn't as difficult as I initially imagined it to be, but @ the same time, there were a lot of hoses & bolts that we hadn't foresaw when we finally dug our claws deep enough into it. The first bolt I tried removing fucking busted! I felt foolish, but it wasn't enough to scare me off. Helping Snookms with this stuff always reminds me of how much I wanted to be an auto mechanic in high school. Sometimes I get a fever! & the only cure for it is, MORE MONKEY GREASE. But seriously though! I took an aptitude test when I was a senior & it had me most compatible with attaining an airframe & powerplant license. I about jumped for joy because that's what my dad did his whole life. Working on airplanes, that is. I suck for not pursuing that. Long story; some other day.

I wanna say that I've watched some movies, but I don't think I have. Oh wait! Toy Story 3! & the new Karate Kid! I almost forgot all about those. I think there was another movie in there somewhere but I can't even remember. Maybe it was Robin Hood? If that's the case I already talked about that. But Toy Story 3 was pretty cute. It made me cry, but not like part 2 did. I think part 2 will always be my favourite. But 3 had it's moments. Lotso Huggin Bear started to remind me of my Footprint bear I snuggled with for years, even well into my adult life. But then when he turned out to be a jerkface I was like FORGET YOU! Footprint is flawless in my eyes.

Also the new Karate Kid was fun to watch. I didn't find myself nodding off or my mind wandering because I was getting bored & I tell you what! Jaden Smith is freaking stacked for a little kiddo. He is hella cute too. That's right I'll say it. The whole "jacket on, jacket off" thing was pretty cool, but I was hoping there'd be more variation on the repetive trick practices other than that. & I guess there was some hype about the fighting style not actually being karate too, but I am not here to dismiss or get offended. I am Raistlin in the red robes neutral about it all I s'pose. I can understand either 'plight', or rather, sympathize I should say?

As far as t.v. goes I haven 't been able to keep up on much. I started to get back on the True Blood bandwagon but fell off right quick once Snookms' vacation was over. & he just now had HBO dropped from our Comcast plan so I'm all a' heart broken over that. But I can always rent the remainder of the second season from the video store or something. I keep hearing everyone gossip about it on Facebook & it is getting my panties all up in a ridiculous bunch. I miss hearing Bill say "ohbsal've" to Sookie. Cause like, he is so motherfucking gorgeous.

New eps of Degrassi start up in July, it is all shespawn & I ever talk about anymore. That, & who would play who in the Full Metal Degrassi mashup we have concocted for our own amusement. I say Johnny DiMarco is Ed. Shespawn says no because he cut all his hair off now, but I say SO WHAT! & then we giggle & say Holly J. can be Al, because she has a cute voice. Or maybe even Claire! Whaddoya say fellers? But whatever. It passes the time.

I like how Riley & Zane are making out in the previews for Degrassi. Riley still kind of appears repugnant to me just because he was such a dick in the beginning, but now that he is hooking up with Zane & being less hesitant about showing his affections to him it warms the cockles of my heart a bit. Slowly but surely.

It was Jr's b-day on Sunday but we had his actual celebration Saturday since we didn't have the heart to drag all the dads out on Father's Day. He got his own laptop! & I ordered the 1st & 2nd Halloween movies in the series off Amazon (the old ones) since he's so hardcore obsessed with Michael Myers. Also added a Michael Myers shirt to the cart too, just came today as a matter o' fact. It's funny to see Jr. overtly pleased. He tries to conceal his grimace. Too cute!

Other than that, not much else. S'posed to grab some bubble tea with Katie tomorrow/tomarrow & then a wikked/awesome soopersekrit underground show with Mysty on Wednesday. Let-dawg sent me random (or rather, completely without purpose as Snookms likes to sarcastically phrase it to make everyone feel dumb for overusing the word) giftage too! Another mixed cd & Whale Rider which made me giggle because I already own it but was touched nonetheless.

On the writing front there has been a whole lotta nada which I fucking hate. I get sad when I realize I don't write the way I used to. There is a part of me that dies a little bit inside for everyday that I don't write when it wants me to. I call it 'The Creative One' & it doesn't even resemble a person. It's a pillar with storm clouds & lightning bolts hovering above & it doesn't speak in words but rather communes in a Cthutonic kind of lexis. I am dead serious here. Don't even think I am trying to make this shit up.

But yeah. The last ANY kind of writing I did was about a dream I had about this Eminem dopelganger & it was when our webz were broke so I typed it up on Microsoft Word when I was trying to do some 'parts work' that my therapist assigned me. It felt good to let loose, y'know? I really want to write more. When I wrote Lucifer's Scar I realized the importance of writing everyday in order to enlarge my capacity to express.

I hope to afford you all more clarity in the future.

SKULLY!

Ack. I dunno what's wrong here but I am always trying to avoid updating here these days? I kind of hate it because it's so conflicting. But it's a thing I feel I need to do. Weird.

Maybe I just need a layout makeover to make me more excited about coming here? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love giving out updates & talking out my ass, & I also love staying caught up on my favourite blogs, but I just feel as though it's so 'blah' around here. Yeah, I think maybe I'll brighten things up around here for the summer.

Let's see here, so much to talk about!

The kiddoes are all out on summer break. Really excited about that. Things tried to go all lemonade on our asses there for a bit but I like sour shit, SO THERE LIFE! Seriously though, man, it had me down in the dumps for a bit. But I fought it back? With getting back into Silent Hill 3! That game is damn near perfect. Maybe not SOTN perfect, but quite effing close friendo/oes. I am completely in love with the soundtrack. The spawn & I beat it last week & it pretty much gave me a reason to get up in the morning there for a little while y'know? One of those kind of things. Well, Snookms & the kiddoes are ALWAYS the reason I get up, but well, you know how it is when you play a game you totally dig. It's the first thing you think about when you wake up; the last thing you think about before you go to bed. I wonder how Jesus feels about that? I think it's okay. I wouldn't be mad.

So yeah. I'm kind of laughing @ how Heather deals with the situations she's presented with tho... "OMG, this is SO NOT MY STYLE!" & whatnot. & when she says "bitch" it's pretty cute?

Now we have the unlimited sub machine gun mode unlocked & the kiddoes are on a mission to get the possessed ending & the whatever beam ending. I forget what it's called.

I think that another reason why I am loathing updating here is because I am not good with remember certain detailed facts. When I am not for certain, I just try to wing it, or I research it on the intarwebz to make for certain, right? Well, I don't like having to do that all the goddamn time just for the sake of not sounding like a pretentious twat. But I guess I can do that all on my own regardless eh?

Other such goings on are that I am super addicted to Pride & Prejudice right now. The Keira Knightley/Matthew Macfadyen one? OH SNAP that is such a ridiculously romantic movie! I am a huge sucker for the romance, no matter how much I try to lie to myself about it. Darcy, oh sweet Mr. Darcy. I want to see you pretend to be Alucard one day. I think the part that makes me cream in muh jeans most is when he & Elizabeth are @ the private ball @ Mr. Bingley's (goddamn he is quite the adorable one as well, no?) & Darcy says very subtly, "I hope to afford you more clarity in the future"... & the room goes silent & empty as if they two are the only ones in the room. You KNOW Keira's knees were a'bucklin over that. I get superstoopid over that scene.

She-spawn & I have been frequenting this new Green Leaf haunt down the way as of late. I spotted it back a few months ago & came to an epiphany one day driving home from SuperTarget: "HOLY SHIT! IT'S A BUBBLE TEA FRANCHISE!" So the next ample opportune that came I grabbed the she-spawn & we mosied on down there. Pretty cute place, really small, I had no idea what to expect really. At one point I was like, "Um kay, is bubble tea just carbonated tea?" So when I get there & it is all vietmanese franchise I am like "oh snap! It's almost Goldilocks up in here..." I was meg delighted. There is a supercute employee doll that she-spawn & I are crushing on there. She's got the most beautiful hair & she has the exact same complexion as my momma. So I haz Oedipus complex somewhat. SUE ME!

We tried the strawberry milk tea the first time & got some spring rolls to go. She-spawn totally digs em but I am more of the eggroll fan here. So the next time I got those & tried the taro green milk tea which I love way more than the strawberry. I find myself fiending for a black ball o' glycerin to chew upon after awhile though. The taro green stuff makes me want avocado ice cream from Lee's supermarket though. It's really creamy & the colour is just beautiful in a cup. I love the uber epic straws too. She-spawn totally wanted to stock up on them. I was like, "No! Save them for others too woman!"

It was so funny too because she-spawn & I went to Walmart today to do groceries & saw the bubble tea girl we are crushing on & she was wearing the cutest summer dress & drinkin the taro green. She saw us & was all happy & cute about it. She was with her boyfriend, which she-spawn & I totally did the 'knowing' nod over cuz we kinda suspected that they may have been an item when we saw them working together. He is the whitest caucausian I ever seen in mai life tho. & he was workin them counters like nobody's business. GOOD FOR HIM! They will have irresistable babies should they elect to reproduce.

The other big news is that Snookms is on vacation! He surprised me! Totally... He came home Friday, called all the members of the Turner abode together family meeting style & was all, "I got good news & bad news. Bad news is I have to work tomorrow/tomarrow (which was a Saturday) but the good news is I'm off for the rest of the week." I was dumbfounded? He is also getting it paid, which is a luxury we are not accustomed to affording round here. There's been a couple of vacations like that but most of them have been at the risk of losing a week's worth of resources. So we have fun stuff planned but nothing backbreakingly spectacular just because we are getting old & wanna take it easy. We saw the new Robin Hood flick late last night, it was okay. It was what I figured it would be. I knew the kids would be bored but I figured they could use a couple boring movies in their life. Gives em character.

I've discovered the awesomeness that is Tumblr too, via Paige, one of Mysty's acquaintances. I like it way better over there than I do here as of late. It is where I found these 2 gems anyway... (amongst so many others)





*sources via enchanteddoll.com*

The top one is pretty much how I picture the wil o' wisp to look in Mordicai's "Wil o' Wisps & Other Illuminated Manuscripts" book; right down to a tee. She likes to yell out "SKULLY!" when she hates. & she does it so adorably! & the bottom doll I just ogle & ogle over for hours. It is quite adorable. I have a thing for nautical helms, leave me alone! It most be that one episode of Scooby Doo or something.

Katie's birthday party was held @ Robbie's on Saturday night. Trekked my way out there without too much trouble. I had stopped by Disc Replay beforehand to grab a few quick gifts & found Brutal Legend & 2 other movies for her. She seemed to like them just fine. I managed to snag Silent Hill, Shaun of the Dead & Mysterious Skin whilst I was there too. I can't wait to rewatch Mysterious Skin, I've been telling Mysty all about it. Rewatched Silent Hill today, this time with a different perspective since I actually played one of the games for a worthwhile amount of time. Also I let the spawn watch it with me since I didn't let them watch it when it first came out. They were still pretty sheltered from a lot of stuff then, didn't want to traumatize them with a bunch of stuff that I myself could not bring myself to explain to them at the time, y'know? But I liked it even better this time around, was able to appreciate the soundtrack way more at least. The kiddoes enjoyed it as well, were appropriately spooked & such.

@ Robbie's we I mostly played Rock Band, I even got to play on the drums! I liked it a lot & am now scheming & devising a plan in which I have some for our abode by the end of this summer break. I played on medium mode for a bit & got brave to do Hard, fucked up the second song in the set & chickened out, going back to medium. It was so boring though so I said fuck it & went back to Hard & did okay. I really got jazzed over playing "Welcome Home" by Coheed & Cambria on Hard Mode. It wasn't no joke, but I managed to make it through the song. Robbie made cheesecake which I didn't get to try & also chocolate covered strawberries which I did get to try & they were just as tasty as I'd always imagined them. Other things that were tasty was Katie in her pretty dress with her new hairz being all drunken & giggly & Robbie just being Robbie in general. He has this look. It gets me everytime.

I went to Mysty's house a bunch last week, what, I think at least 3 times, or maybe it was the week before? Heck, I dunno! All's I know is that we had a jolly good ol' time just hanging out on her front porch, enjoying the electric air, smoking, chatting, laughing. She showed me her collection of The Doors stuff she has & I was just totally in love with her dedication to such a thing. Her sister had brought by a bunch of her old stuff that had just been laying around for years in random boxes & she dug out a bunch of old Doors records. She put em on & we just scampered around her abode living life & enjoying being in each others'. By the time I left it was almost 2 & we were both equally spooked cause we were talking about exorcisms, remote viewing & our conspiracy theories regarding the C.I.A. She's so cute when she's paranoid!

Now I am about to assist Snookms in the culinary department. He is making breakfast for dinner with all the trimmins; homemade sausage gravy, biscuits, bacon, eggs, french toast & sausage. WOOOOOOT!

Symphony of the Night!

For those of you that are unfamiliar with the epic win that is Castlevania; Symphony of the Night, here is a rundown of it for you, told from the perspective of my 10 year old She-Spawn, who had to write an essay of choice for school & which she chose this as her vocation:

"It is the year 1792 in my video game Castlevania; Symphony of the Night, when Alucard has the mission of killing his greedy father Dracula to save the human race. Dracula is the king of vampires. The main character's name is Alucard (Dracula spelled backwards.)

When your finally done with the first level Death steals all your weapons from you. But as you go through the game you get a lot more powerful weapons that are better and you get back the ones you start out with. After you beat the final boss Richter Belmont, if you have a special thing you can turn the castle upside down. Then you do a lot of the other stuff.

Next you fight the dark priest Shaft and FINNALLYYY! DRACULA!!!!

Before you fight him, you have to do a lot of stuff. First you start at the Chapel where you kill Medusa like the one from Clash of the Titans. Next you go to Orlox's Lair where you fight a mummy as stinky as a sewer rat. After that you go to the Reverce (<----that is how it's really spelled) Caverns and fight the clone of yourself the Doppelganger. Then after that you go to the Abandon Mine where you fight the Grim Reaper (Death) when he threatens to feast on your soul. Then you go to the Floating Catacombs and fight the toughest boss in the game Galamoth. After that you go to the Alchemy Laboratory where you fight Beelzebub. (Here She-Spawn even takes the liberty of drawing an adorable little fly hovering above the word 'Beelzebub') Beelzebub is the fly you kill. I can't remember the Zombie's name but it's probably as stinky as a stink bomb considering there's a swarm of flies forming around it and maggots falling off it.

Next I went to Castle Keep where I got an ultra rare sword called the Crissaegrim. Dracula is only supposed to raise once every century but if you collect the heart of Dracula after you beat the bosses then you'll get to fight him. Sometimes you'll only get a life max up likeat the Colliseum when you kill the 3 false heroes, the same at the Clock Tower when you fight the evil bat monster. then you fight the dark priest Shaft, then finally DRACULA.

After that he starts saying a bunch of things then it's over and it plays a song that sounds like it would be playing at an old folks home or on an old depressing 1970's Japanese anime.

Oh, yeah, I HATE THE BORING SONG!!! Well that's my summary!

(& then she drew a picture of Alucard)

S'very endearing. MeSoProud!

"WHO ARE YOU?!

My loins hath brewed up a new brand of evil for the morning. It is in no way as delightful as it might sound.

Mother's Day... I'll start with that. Well, the weekend of it anyhow.

My spawn are so hobbit like in the gift giving department, they cannot wait to relinquish their presents, y'know? She-spawn got right on making me an Otep shirt, I told you guys all about that. Then the starshaped bowl that Fezziwig bestowed as gift upon me. That was all Friday. Saturday She-Spawn begged Snookms to take her to Disc Replay & they bought me the limited edition of Akira! Her in I slapped it in right away, watched it all the way through only taking breaks long enough to gather junk food rations. She was really engrossed into the movie, I'd kinda figured she would be; she's just intriguing like that.

The next day Snookms took us for ice cream to Baskin Robbins & bought me a ridiculously large bouquet of sunflowers & daisies, cause he knows I be jockin sunflowers like mad. Also grabbed me an Itunes card in which I flooded with great muzaks.

"Happy Mother's Day To Me!" Is what I titled the cd:

1. Someone Great -LCD Soundsystem
2. Nautilus -Depreciation Guild
3. Fade Into You -Mazzy Star
4. Astral Projection to Rabid Hell -Urgehal
5. Cellar Door -Michael Andrews
6. Reflection of the Television -The Twilight Sad
7. Unfavorable Meanings -Teenage Panzerkorps
8. Transmission -Joy Division
9. Rebellion (Lies) -Arcade Fire
10. Only Pain -Unsane
11. Black Bile -Graves at Sea
12. Boris -Melvins (I really wanted the Isis/Agoraphopic Nosebleed cover but couldn't find it!)
13. Big Empty -Stone Temple Pilots
14. 2:45 A.M. -Elliot Smith

So I've been cranking that real loud & driving my spawn crazy with it. & Snookms too. Oh how I love to make him hate things!

So like after all o' that we headed down to Snookms' moms' pad to well wish her a Happy Mother's Day. Snookms step dad made a turkey & we had turkey sandwiches & watched Blind Side. Good movie. I had a huge crush on "Big Mike" the whole movie & kept snickering everytime anyone said his name cause that's what I call Snookms when he refuses to respond to "Snookms".

When we were done there we headed out to my mom's & dad's to drop off the 2 containers of Jamocha Almond Fudge I nabbed her from Baskin Robbins. See, that shit is treasure in our family cause all the Baskin Robbins in our area are pretty much extinct. Have to travel FarAndWide for that shit now...

So she was all squeeing & eeekin over it like I had hoped she would. She is such a great gift receiver. She got me a really cute top from some store in Metropolis that I keep forgetting the name of. She also bought me a 'Bella bracelet" cause I've been tryna nab hers from her wrist for like, an eternity & a day & shit. Mine's brown. Her's is black. & she has a white one too now. Ho-HUM! *Oh! You must have dropped this!*

Didn't get to stay & play for too long, as the hour was growing late. Came home & got the kiddoes all tuckered in bed. Snookms & I did fun stuff but I can't even remember what it was. He's been a real joker lately. Making me giggle with flexing his muscles in the mirrors when he knows I'm watching, starts kissing them & stuff till I explode with laughter. That kind of a thing.

Oh! Also! That night, when I walked to the mailbox to put a check in the mail for our kiddoes' insurance? There was a package in the mail from Let-Dawg! She took the time to send me a card & a most ADORABLE golden owl necklace. It has aqua blue eyes & an amber jeweled tummay. SO PRECIOUS! It was all moist & cold from being in the mailbox all night, which only added to it's irresistable allure.

Monday was back to work; went to do an initial clean on a new house that Kristi agreed to start doing. Wasn't too bad, the woman's got a Maserati (sp?) in her driveway though! Cute little abode, nothing too backbreaking right? She pays us more & more money as we progress though the house, realizing how "good of a job" we are doing. By the time we got outta there our pockets were stuffed with 30 dollar tips! How cool is that, right?

Later that night I looked forward to Big Bang Theory, pretty much the only light at the end of the dreary Monday tunnel aside from seeing Snookms & the spawns when they get home. Big Bang Theory is pretty much the only show I brake for these days. It was Lost for the longest time, but I have given up on the show for now just because I am so motherfucking behind. I refuse to watch the last episode not knowing what the fuck has been going on for the last 3 seasons. At least that is what I am telling myself so that I can resist the temptation for next Wednesday... or is it Tuesday? Or is it THIS week? See!!! I am a MESS!

But Big Bang Theory. This show pleases me to an obscene degree. Sheldon has me swooning & giggling in toe curling delight, & his 3 pals ain't far behind. Sheldon reminds me of 3 parts Jr. (my oldest spawn), & 1 part Erin (my oldest brother, but I am STILL older than him & can beat him up so don't even try). Everybody loves Sheldon. Mordicai kind of reminds me of him too, but Mordicai is definately a far more fashionably aware version of Sheldon. Just with his technicalities & things he gets excited over? It's pretty funny & delightful.

Thursday I got paid & had Friday off so's I took Snookms out on a dinner date to Texas Roadhouse, his choice. I'd never been so I didn't know what to expect. Final verdict? I love the atmosphere, but I'm not to keen on the food. It's too much like domisticated food for my liking. & there is some semblance of sweetness in every food you order there, no matter WHAT it is. I don't like that! But we still had our enjoyment either way, we don't need good food to have fun.

Headed over to SuperTarget across the street to stock up on rations for the weekend; bought the spawn some "Hey, I love you & I see what you've been doing there" kind of items & dilly-dallied home. Kiddoes put to bed & Snookms & I finished up watching '10 Things I Hate About You'; it was Encore or something or another. Snookms secretly adores this movie, I can feel it in my bones. He faithfully giggles when Heath Ledger smacks that cop on the butt during the ever-so-charming singing scene. & the whole, "I have a dick on my face, don't I" thing? Poignant moments in our life, people!

After Snookms nodded off on the couch I slipped away to take care of my hair business. & when I say business, BOY DO I MEAN BUSINESS! Lotta werk to be done there folks. See, I shave the back of my head, like, not half way but maybe a third of the way (though there was a point when I was shaving it even past the halfway mark) & I have a bad habit of not keeping up on it. So when I tie my hair up it looks like I've just hacked all my hair off & you see these questionable roots furling up underneath it all, which just makes it look like my hair is really short. So yeah, I had that to attend to. I used to keep up with it all the time in high school but damn! It's hard to scrape up time for that shit these days? So I did that up real quick & then proceeded to bleach half of my bangs so I could dye them purple for the next day. Feels so good to go to bed with a freshly shaved scalp!

So Friday I awoke with a beastly vigor, ready for the new day ahead. It was movie night @ Robbie's & I am falling in super mad love with Robbie real fukken quick. He was that boy in high school with a trench coat, wearing an Art of Noise tshirt & being snarky to whom deserved it & unscathingly romantic to those who didn't. His words drip so effortlessly from his maw, & I am puddy in his hands I am telling yew! I'm sure he's turned hundreds of tricks this way...

So blue black dye was in the cards for my hairs that day, along with the purple for my bangs. Took a lot less time & effort than I had initially proposed for myself, but I was still tired after it all. By the time darkness descended I was ready to just plop on Robbie's red couch & sleep.

But instead Mysty, Katie, Robbie & I watched Bitchslap, which was descent. Robbie says it's what Tarantino's movies SHOULD be, but I like the Tarantino flicks just fine the way they are. Still some decent moments in the movie though. The girl on girl action was pretty hot & I really liked the nun scene too. We were s'posed to watch Immortal after that but I just wanted to be a chatty Kathy instead. Robbie took it upon himself to pop in The Cure's Disintegration live dvd to play as white noise whilst we sat & learned more about each other. I am so in love with Weekend Evenings @ Robbie's House...

Katie has me cracking up with the way she laughs & what she laughs at. We are one in the same in that manner of thinking.

Other fun moments in the week worth mentioning was going to the park on Sunday with Snookms & the spawn tribe. We haven't been since last summer, so it was a real treat. This park we go to is the king of the woods as far as parks go; it has the most secluded, wooded areas that you could know of. They are at every corner, I am telling you. & a bridge! A creek! Here to make all your RPG fantasies come true. I am a sucker for secluded wood areas; get over me!

The kiddoes had fun veering off the paths to find their own, while Snookms & I messed around with some potsmoking teenagers who thought they were being discreet. Ahhhh! How I miss them days...

We will be going back every weekend prolly, such great adventure there.

Back around to Monday, all about Big Bang Theory of course. Later on that night Snookms & I stayed up too late watching Robocop. This movie was intense for me as a kiddo, but so fucking mesmerizing. Murphy! "Who are YOU? WHO ARE YOU?!" & that melting jerk of rat in the poo sewage? It's always great to know you & the spouse were paying attention to all the same parts of Robocop as a kid. Says a lot about a person...

Read this book if!...

You must absolutely, positively read Mordicai Knode's book Watchtower Gothic if:



1! You listen to Electric Wizard & enjoy it whether you smoke pot or naught.

2! You play D&D now or ever in your life.

3! You like anything I care about at all.

4! Know what homunculus are...

5! Appreciate the art of this beautifully orchestrated melody...

6! Think that the name Mordicai is cataclysmically awesome.

7! Like to play and/or sympathize with Kender the most. (because of the unintentionably adorable factor of this book!)

8! Find insanely macabre things adorably endearing.



You must ESPECIALLY read this book if:



You play or claim to live along the alignment of a Lawful Evil.



So. With that being said, I really adored this book. This is the second book of Mordicai's I have read, his first being Wil O' Wisps & Other Illuminated Manuscripts, (as if that wasn't enough to get my crusty undies in a bunch what with his terribly clever & innovative use of face icons from them oldskool Word Perfect programs as a means for Wil O' Wisp communications) which was a winning NaNoWriMo participant from the year before Watchtower Gothic.



If anybody knows anything about Mordicai (of which I know very little, but the little that I have gathered from faithfully reading his most excellent blog) they would know that he has a knickety knack for making the Darkness adorable. Delectable. Irrrrresistable. There is only one other kat in this world that I know of has that ability over me & that is Neil Gaiman. & honestly? Mordicai kind of tops him in my book. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am all up on The Sandman's tip. & all the fuck over Silas from The Graveyard Book. But dear sweet Gillick Bootblack! I can't decide if I'm going to love you more as the preteen Alpha you once were, or the most notorious Blackhearted war criminal of all the Known Worlds & beyond!



So there is that!



Now that I've gotten that outta the way, let me just say that these two visual/audio companions stuck with me all throughout. & if anyone begs to differ please don't hesitate to steer me in the more clarifying direction?



THIS!



& then ...



THIS!!



Yeah. There is this Alizarin Red character, most charming & in a wheel chair. You know ol' Mordicai has got something in his pocketses, BUT WHAT IS IT?! Wait & see, WAIT & SEE. She is beautiful in a most terrible & beautiful way. & this is one of Gillick Bootblack's (the main man of the story) companions in this adventure.



Then you have Blondie. I switch back & forth all throughout the story on who is my favourite, but I do believe my heart belongs to her. As I've mentioned before! SHE USES CURSE WORDS SO APPROPRIATELY! But that is not the point.



I have a hard time pinpointing this. Not only in Master M's book, but in all books. I miss the point cause I get caught up in the adventure. But here is what I am guessing at?



Gillick, my main man, is like, an Alpha? Which is a language I'm not too keen on due to my parents sheltering me & my kin from too much exposure to the land of magicks, but I'm guessing is one bad ass creation of race.



He is in this Watchtower of sorts, in a realm where the Unity works strictly together to better this realm, use the bones of what the inhabitants of the past have been forced to reckon with & make the most of it's leftovers. Gillick is in the aftermath, the Unity's attempt to make the world a better place? He grows up in a sort of alchemist's foster home, learning the lore & this first book discusses the charming childhood of Gillick, before he became known as "A Most Notorious War Criminal of all the Known Worlds & beyond".



He ventures out on his birthday to meet up with his two newly acquainted pals Alizarin & Blondie, with nothing but his good natured but carefully calculated intentions on his shirtsleeve.



An Aleister Crowley-ish kind of dude in charge of the haunted house takes them the way for the rest of their ride, as they decide to celebrate at The Carnivale of all the lovely places in the Urth!



There is sort of an "alluding to" of what might have happened in those last few moments they shared in the haunted house the 3 companions agreed to walk through together, but it isn't til the very end that you get any idea of what truly takes place. To bridge that most questionable of gaps is letters...



...Letters from Gillick to Blondie to Alizarin & back. As they part ways the particular Carnivale events seems to me the tie that bonds them, all along they speak of it very vaguely, only teasing the very itchy spot you want so badly to scratch in wondering just what the heck happened in that creepy haunted house to the 3 of them.



The letters exchanged at first seem daunting when you see that they go on til damn near the end of the book, until you realize how adorably important they are in further mapping out the "true" nature of Gillick in all his intentions.



Revolution is his name friends! Docents? Citizens...? Yeah. So Gillick applies his previous knowledge attained from his schooling as a potential alchemist & combines it with the worldly experiences that he, Alizarin & Blondie share to attempt a global upheaval of the functioning society as we know it, linguistics being (as far as what I took of it as least!) a top fucking priority.



& you can totally see where Gillick is coming from in all of this. You hear him question Blondie's motive in her eagerness to swear like a truck driver, & he is so goddamn careful to choose his own words. Something I kind of see emulate itself in Mordicai as well.



Either way, he is a decent fellow, that Mordicai dude, & I'd recommend this book to anyone who digs the aforementioned, because it is just THAT FUN OF A READ.



Also! Stayed tuned for a possible Book 2 in the Watchtower series next NaNo!

Out of sorts!

(Apologizing beforehand for any weird timeframe mistakes, I wrote this particular entry before I did Mordicai's book review but wanted to make sure I put that up ASAP.)

So, yeah... FUCK ME WITH A CANDLESTICK!

Anniversary week! Last week? It was fun! OH so FUN. Snookms & I didn't even have much money to play around with either, but it was prolly the best anniversary we've had yet.

I think it has to do with how close we've become over the years, 14 years... We were able to get over that hump that makes us feel like we were robots instead of lovers, & after that everything has been TITS for us. We can joke with each other like we used to, feel free to share our opinions with one another & not have to be afraid of judging. I love how we can have a casual conversation about masturbation one minute & work the next. It is great.

All day long I had been craving the salad/potato(e) soup combo from Panera so that is where we set out to go once Snookms got home & showered. They didn't even have potato(e) soup that day! FAIL! I guess I should've been more keen to the whole soup o' the day thing, but whatever! I was so dissapointed. But I settled for some cream of chicken thing. & then they even forgot to put the cheese crumbles in our cobb salads so I had to ask for it, it is what gives the salad the kick that makes it worth even buying in the first place. Otherwise it is just a ... bacon salad?

After that we headed to the Sprint shop; Snookms had a fancy Blackberry his brother gave him, he had mentioned getting his service switched from his dinosaur phone to that one, so I was like, Heck ya! Go for it! Since I already broke my Palm. So we get there & he has it turned on in MY name! Whoa? No way, Snookms you spoil me with phones! So that was part of the anniversary present I guess? & it was a present to him too because he didn't have to pay anything for it. & if you are going to find a Snookms Weak Spot, the wallet is where it will be EVERY TIME.

So after that fun was over (I have unlimited texts now...w0000000000t) we headed back out to Metropolis. Drove past the barber shop Snookms goes to & he mentioned needing his hairz did so I told him to go for it. So he did. HE NEVER LETS THEM PUT GEL IN WHEN THEY'RE DONE. Why?

Headed to Rue 21 when he was done there & I bought a Juno-esque looking plaid summer dress on clearance for 15 bucks, some comfy purple work pants for 6 fat ones & a really adorable giant pewter butterfly ring. SQUEEAK. I was totally looking forward to wearing my safety pin laced boots with the dress, & some black fishnets & the butterfly ring along with the new black octopus necklace that Let-Dawg acquired for me @ Hot Topic.

Let's see...when that was done we went to the Starbux haunt that Mysty & I usually hang at & went inside this time. (We are usually outdoors & smoking?) So we sat & chatted about a buttload of stuff, mostly about him tryna get his own insurance so that he can run his own framing crew. He's been doing it for years really, just under someone else's foot. So like, hell yeah I'm gonna be supportive of that shit. Snookms was basically born with a woodchip under his ear. It was really nice to have all that Snookms to myself. Don't get me wrong, it's great to have all the kiddoes, but it's so hard to get a meaningful conversation in edge-wise with spawn interrupting you every 10 seconds.

We had to grab some cereal for the next morning so we stopped by Meijer, the nearest supermarket, to get that & some other snacks for the kiddoes. Found some adorable baby orchids & Snookms bought me one! Eeeeeeeeeeeek! So pretty. I love how they make faces at me.

Came home, put the precious spawnies to bed & elected to watch The Men Who Stare at Goats. I told Snookms he'd prolly love it, cause I had watched 3/4's of it earlier that day, so I was all jazzed about him watching it too. But he didn't like it as much as I did. That's okay though. His mancrush for George Clooney still remains.

Had some great anniversary sex & fell asleep curled up in Snookms' arms for the night.

The next day was pretty fun too, went to see The Runaways with Mysty at the Keystone Art Cinema in Castleton. I had my silent reservations with this film beforehand, just because well, you know how they hype shit up these days & it all goes south from there for me... but oh man. I fucking LOVED this movie. The opening scene shows a fucking blood clot falling from Dakota Fanning's pussy! & it only gets better from there. Seeing Kristin Stewart make out with Dakota Fanning was the icing on the Runaways cake. & Michael Shannon playing as Kim Fowley had me sighing & swooning with his, "You gotta think with your cocks!" attitude. I'd recommend this movie to anyone.

Had fun just smoking & chatting it up with Mysty afterwards. We shared a peanut butter & chocolate chip cookie from Mrs. Field's cookie shop, hadn't had one o' those in YEARS. Verrrry tasty. Then it was home sweet home.

Fast forward to Saturday, spent it @ my mom & dad's hanging out with 2 of my brothers & their spawn... Had fun playing catch up with my mom, she is a marvelous person to have for a mother? She kept threatening to take us up the the carnivale down the street in the old Target parking lot. I told her, "Wait til darkness falls! It'll be funner!" So we did! Even got Snookms & my dad to go (he starred as Keifer Sutherland from The Lost Boys). It was a total blast. I went on that rotational ride that sways yer ass back & forth til you hang all the way upside down, suspended in the motherfucking air & shit. I wasn't able to sit in the same booth as Jr. & Snookms so I had to sit with some 12 year old girl who was really cute but really scared. She had no idea what she was in store for! The whole time she is crying & yelling out, "I want my mooooooommy!" So I had to play coach & get her through the ordeal. I am getting OLDE. & mortal! Those things fuck with me now! I felt sick afterwards!

We let the spawn play some of the rip off games & they won stuff. She-Spawn aimed her shit like a champ & got a tiger in return...

Then it was home... I can't even remember what we did then? Watched something? I'll remember later.

& then yesterday! Mysty took off early from working the Big Kahuna desk @ her current place of employment to watch The Human Centipede with me On Demand. OH SNAP! So disgusting but I was hoping & expecting more? I am a sick little puppy. Sue me. But yeah, I'm already ready for the next "sequence". BFF CENTIPEDE FOR LIFE.

I also forgot to talk about Robbie's Birthday fun from like 2 Saturdays ago, but Katie has it all documented & even put the photos in a Flickr account for all ya'lls viewing pleasure. It was OH SO MUCH FUN. Robbie sent me the most ADORABLE fucking picture of himself yesterday on muh phone, & made my fucking morning with dedicating Darkness's Proposal to meeeeee. SO IN LUFF AM I.

Today it is hopefully going to be all about seeing Iron Man 2, tried to go see it last night after eating a late dinner @ El Rodeo (or 'Gooseo' as Let-Dawg & I have coined it, another funny story to share for next time!) but they were all sold out for the time we wanted to see it. The next showing wasn't till 10 o'clock p.m. & we weren't about to see a 2 hour flick that fucking late. We are olde! I nod off in theatres if it is past my bedtime, no lie!

Tomorrow/tomarrow is Mother's Day. All I asked for was an Itunes card & a banana split from the highly scarcity of awesomeness that is Baskin Robbins. I got online last night to make sure they weren't extinct & sure enough there was 3 in our area. Gotta get my Jamocha fix on! But yeah, that's what I asked for... & today, which isn't even Mother's Day! my spawn showered me in gifts! She-spawn hand painted me a shirk with the Otep logo "Art Saves" on it & Fezziwig GAVE ME his treasured clay project that had been chosen to put on display in the hallways of his school. It is a bowl, in the shape of an amber star, with green trimmings. So beautiful & original! It is my new jewelry catcher.

I'd share pictures with the group but I am still tryna figure out the whole picture thing in regard to uploading stuff online, but when I do, prepared to be spammed with muh shit fools.

This might be long & boring to a lot of you!

A day off! I found one! Just laying around... Really!

Ahhhh. Such a busy month.

I guess I'll start with spring break. It was fun. Sleeping in, playing SoTN, staying up late, enjoying the nice weather we had. Saw Clash o' the Titans in 3-D (which I totally dug so quit bitching about 3-D Katie)... I worked one day during the whole duration of spring break so it wasn't bad at all. Good times.

The week after that, Let-Dawg came to visit! All the way from Cali. So like, now I have to go visit HER & all her minions.

Let's just say that I was fucking floored at how grown up she looks in real life. I mean, I had some semblance of what she was going to look like what with the beauty of technology provides today via picture mail, heck even cute little videos she sent to me of her tap-dancing & whatnot... BUT STILL! These things do her no justice compared to the beauty I laid eyes upon in seeing her in person for the first time in over 15 years. She is all grown up.

So when I picked her up at the airport what I really wanted to do was cry, my stomach was all tangled in knots, but instead I did the opposite & just started laughing hysterically. Cause I'm Autistic like that, y'know? She was crying so hard, I was so touched by the moment.

I was nervous as all get out driving with her & 3 spawn in tow, plus I am not even a little bit familiar with the new airport system Indy hath provided us with just recently, so I was just a silent little ghost on the drive to Mickey D's whilst the spawn prattled on with her in the car. I kept sneaking glances at her. It was so surreal.

After we stocked up on rations @ McDonald's we took her home to our humble abode. Settled in for a few, waited for Snookms to get home from work so he could meet her & all that jazz, then she & I headed out to Plainfield to smoke & chat @ Starbux cause that is all I ever dreamed of doing with her. The weather was beautiful but OH SO WINDY. Leticia kept teasing the weather & calling it a Dust Devil. She got attacked as a result & pummeled with Indy Mulch. It made me giggle.

We walked around Metropolis for a few, then agreed to head out to the ol' Renegade Wizard & Warlock's Wife pad. They were pretty jazzed to see her. First thing my mom said when she saw her getting out of the car was, "Oh no, don't call the cops on me!" because like, cops were always being called back in the day when she & I were an item. MEH.

We had a lovely evening of just sitting out on the deck & catching up. It was awesome to see my mom & Let-Dawg have a conversation where we were all on the same page. 15 years ago it would've went something like, "Hey mom, can I smoke some dank in mai bedroom?" "Uhmmm, NO!" So yeah. They were talking about being good mommies for their daughters & plants & Fibromayalgia (sp?) so yeah. It was 'interesting' to say the least.

The hour grew late & Leticia was beyond exhausted so we headed home to a house full of sleeping Turners so that we too could turn in for the night. We got home, rejuventated on foods & got our pajamas on. I wound up staying in the living room with her til hella late because we were just having too much fun talking & laughing. It was like a day had never even passed by between us. Our brand of humour, I believe, is the tie that will continually bind us.

The whole night long I kept looking at her face & how young she still looked, I could still see Leticia there, so wide eyed & innocent. But there is this facet of chaos that generates a will of covetous nature from me. I want to consume it & allow it to become me. Like, maybe if I just cut her foot off & eat it that will be enough? She is such a wonderful enigma...

The next day I took the spawn to school & came home & we just sat around in our jammies & rested. RESTED! RESTED? It was weird. BUT FUN! We sat around in our jammiez & stepped out on the patio to smoke & stuff. Then she busted out the copy of Lost & Delirious I had ordered her a while back, she even took the liberty of not watching it at home yet so we could watch it together for her first time. SWEET.

I started tearing up hardcore all throughout the movie & feeling hella dumb. Fucking Paulie is top notch in that flick. She pretty much emulates all the turmoil I struggled against as an awkward teen. SO MUCH EMO. Thank GAWD she had me all distracted with signing her copy of my two books, otherwise it would have been even moreso awkward.

So by the time that was over we didn't have much time to do anything else before it was time to pick up my spawn. We elected to grab some lunch @ Panera (which is my FAVOURITE) & I ordered the potato(e) soup along with a chicken cobb salad. Best combo evar? Let-Dawg did the same, I ate way the fuck more than she did.

I think it was that night that we elected to see Hot Tub Time Machine, which Rotten Tomatoes hated pretty much, or in other words, "everybody" hated I guess? I on the other hand, along with Let-Dawg gave it two thumbs up, way up. It was just our brand of humour, plus Crispin Glover as the armless dude who was no longer armless in the past? He like, stole muh fukkin heart away... It was a perfect movie to see with Let-Dawg.

We had a field trip to take she-spawn to the next day; Indy 500 museum & race track. It was surprisingly fun, but outdoors. By then the weather had taken an about face & totally fucked us up. SO COLD. Poor Little Miss California Sunshine thought she was in the tundra & shite.

After that, the whole trip was basically dedicated to the fucking hospital, which I don't even want to go into all of that here, long story short, Jr. had 2 appts & my pops wound up in the hospital on Friday, but he is all better now so that's all that matters here. Still though, Leticia & I still managed to have fun, she's not one of those friends that you need to be in the 'scene' with to always be having fun & shit. Hell, SHE IS THE SCENE.

When it was time for her to go, I was so not ready. It came so abruptly. I knew it was coming but I just kept tucking it away, like somehow it wouldn't happen if I just kept pushing it far enough into the recesses of my mind. Yeah right. Snookms' mom was a doll & had us reserve a room in her name @ the Holiday Inn Carribean Cove (it's an indoor waterpark hotel that tricks you into thinking you might actually be at the beach for at least 5 minutes) & that is the same day that Let-Dawg was leaving. So after her & the fam & I went to lunch together @ El Rodeo she rode with us to check in to our awesome hotel room, then it was off to the stupid airport. The airport was useless to me that day, y'know?

I don't even want to talk about goodbyes. This ended up being a surprisingly awesome goodbye, but still. I HATE GOODBYES.

So this was all like, almost 2 weeks ago I guess? Or something. Don't hate me because I'm bad with time frames okay?

The next week, which was last week... ? Well I had a lecture Neil Gaiman was speaking at to go to on Friday to get me through the dark & dreary tunnel. Leticia leaving took a toll on me, alot harder than I had imagined. There was something like depression, just missing her being at my side I s'pose? Mysty had took the awesome initiative to set up us being Friends of the Library so that her, BrandiCandi & I could have front row seats at the lecture. Mysty is fucking awesome like that. She be getting the hookup yo. So dig it? I was almost in a fangrrl panic knowing Neil Gaiman was about to step foot on stage. I felt as though I needed some restraining harness other than my own sheer will to keep me from clobbering him with my drool when he finally did walk on stage. He was everything I hoped he would be. & more. He said when he grew up he wanted to be either a werewolf, or a writer. Mysty & I swooned & giggled hardcore when he said that because I started calling her husbandry Werewolf & it just stuck like that so that is what Mysty makes everyone call him now.

He spoke a bit, did some readings, held a Q&A which I couldn't muster the guster to ask a question, & then did a final reading of which was my favourite. Something about a St. Auron? I dunno. I was too bewitched body & soul to reach that far into my memory bank & record. BrandiCandi will remember! & there was a Paige! A lovely lovely Paige I had the pleasure of meeting due to Mysty & her being mutual pals. Mysty is superfamous everywhere she goes. Everyone knows her no matter where we are. Paige has awesome ink, she had this awesome owl tattoo on her arm that I took a picture of with my camera phone but cannot currently share with anyone because my fucking phone is now broke.

So after drooling over Neil Gaiman, Mysty took us back to her pad where we met up with her Werewolf & one of my exes (sp?, WUT? I'm not used to talking about 'exes'!) & headed up to Melody Inn. I had the pleasure of hearing Slam Dunk, Lair of the Minotaur & Coffinworm live that night, it was fucking off the hook? I was initially all about Lair of the Minotaur, but when Coffinworm got on stage they stole the fucking show. Everyone knows everyone @ that particular haunt, except me, of course, I was a fucking newbie fail on various levels, but I didn't care cause I was so far stuck up Mysty's ass you could no longer see my little Anarchy ballet flats sticking out. But I tell you, everytime Mysty takes me to one of these 'things'? These live/local/underground shows? It is like getting in a time machine & being transformed. I feel like a teenager again, reckless & flawless & rejuvenated. Somehow Mysty has that affect on people. We all drink from her Eternal Fountain of Youth. & I don't know, because I am new to this 'scene', or rather, just coming back into it as an old fart, but... there are all these adorable little outdoor nooks & crannies you can slip back into & just chill & smoke & chat up with potential Venice Beach material. It's pretty great & I am thinking everyone needs to try this scene on for size at least once in their life. I typically live such a sheltered life, as BrandiCandi had put it for us people that live under the stairs, & this was so entertaining... watching Mysty @ her finest.

So yeah. There is that. There's way more to babble about here, I finished Mordicai's Watchtower Gothic (a LONG TIME AGO, actually) & just received Mr. Parrish's very own Tavernier Stones in the mail about a week ago... I want to talk about those, but in another session! Time's up!

No! There is no hairstyle that can put you in the bad place!

The last time I posted was March 1st. It's the 19th today. I am losing my touch.

I have a Hefty bag of crap I can't bring myself to go through yet; it is filled with the contents of our beloved Kia (R.I.P.) that Snookms managed to salvage from the wreck I got in 2 weeks ago.

Wreck you say? You didn't know I got in a wreck? Why yes, I did. I sure fucking did. & it was all my doing, or undoing, I should say.

See, the Kia's a stick. Also, it's a 2001, so like, it was getting 'up there' in age I s'pose? Welp, it's been actin funny; funny meaning I have to keep 3 feet on the pedals at one time. It stalls. When it's in 5th gear it wants to act like it's in fucking first. For at least the first 5 or 10 minutes you drive it. After it warms up or whatever, it does fine. Just fine.

Stupid me took it upon one's self to throw this caution to the wind & go out anyway, took the kiddoes up to Starbux. The Kia never did start behaving itself. I left Starbux & we got on the rode, me tryna keep the car running by alternating cramming on the gas with one foot & the other busy pedaling around with the clutch & the brake pedal. I took the liberty of turning on my hazards seeing that I wasn't having any success in this. I was worried about the cars behind me getting all shitty because the car was driving so crappy.

Next thing you know I rear end some old Asian dude in front of me. Hard. So fucking hard it caused the Old Asian Dude's car to ram into the car in front of him.

Automatically I hear screaming. From my babies. They're screaming & crying & freaking the fuck out like any normal person would. My instincts kick in after I am done being dumbfounded by the impact & I look around to make sure none of my kids are hurt. None of them appear to be. I get out of the car & climb in the back seat to try to reach out to each of my kids & comfort them. They are not consoled. My oldest is yelling out, "Am I gonna die? Am I gonna die?!"

I get out my phone to try dialing 911, but fuck touchscreens. Never try to dial on one of those when you are in a panic.

I look over at my oldest, Jr., & he is bleeding profusely from the face. His nose is now swollen & looks like something that resembles the oldskool Phantom of the Opera. There is a bump the size of Antarctica forming on the bridge of his nose. I about faint.

Some innocent bystander takes it upon himself to take us under his wing. I grab the keys from the Kia & he helps me round up my kiddoes & lets them sit in his truck. Apparently he is like, an off duty firefighter or some shit? He knows all the lingo. Gets out a flashlight to look at Jr.s nose. His gums are swollen & bleeding to. He's still asking if he's going to die. My other two are appearing to be physically okay but they are still freaking out. The ambulance comes. Snookms comes. I follow the ambulance with my two kiddoes & meet Snookms & Jr. in the E.R. at Clarion West Hospital.

Jr. has a broken nose. & his frenum/frenulum is completely torn. All the fucking way. It's that thin piece of skin that connects your upper lip to your gums? His gums are all bruised the fuck up & his face has become heartbrakingly swollen.

We get out of the E.R. around 1 in the morning. The accident took place around 10:30 pm.

It's taken a week for Jr.'s face to go back to looking the way it used to be, but it's still going to look a 'little' different than before. There is a small bump on the bridge of his nose that will always be there, but he didn't have to get any surgery, so I'm thankful for that.

I've been hating on myself for about 2 weeks now, trying to come to terms with what lessons I should be taking away from this incident. It's been hard to enjoy my usual pleasures, as I have been denying myself many of them. I tried to act normal for the intarwebz because nobody likes to see that shit unfold online, but inside I was a fucking mess. I didn't talk to anyone, I retreated to that corner inside my world where self hate was the most pleasurable thing I could grant myself access to.

I'm slowly making my way out of that realm, but it hasn't been easy. On the surface everything seems better, & technically it is I guess? But there's a part of me on the inside that doesn't ever feel like it will be the same.

My other 2 spawn are still traumatized by it, as well as Jr., & I can't blame them one fucking bit.

If there were any lessons I needed to learn from this incident I want to make sure I am being made aware of them. I know it was an 'accident', but still. It just fucks with me.

I pushed alot of people away as a result of my retreating into my self hating indulgence, but I guess that's a test of who really loves you & who doesn't, cause the ones that still stuck by my side through all of my bullshit are still there.

So that's what's been up in my neck o' the woods for the past 2 weeks.

I went back to work with my sister in law Monday since all my kiddoes were able to go back to school. I hated every fucking minute of it. The only thing that kept me going was knowing I was going to have a day off the next day to get myself back together. I even wound up calling off the appt. with my therapist because I just needed to be alone with myself for the day. It was refreshing but I was still going crazy on the inside.

I finally had a meltdown all over Snookms. He tried to do the tough love thing on me at first but I don't do well with the tough love thing from Snookms. Maybe it worked when my mom did it to me, but with Snookms it's a different story. Through it all though he was a trooper & by the next day I was starting to feel some semblance of optimality? I don't like to throw the term 'normal' around so loosely any more, because what the fuck is the norm? It is different for everybody.

So I went back to work still not wanting to go, but whaddoya know, Thursday was a beautiful day. 3 of us got 3 houses done at a rate of less than an hour for each house & even had time to dine @ the quaint little pizzeria they have in the town of Zionsville. They have pepperoni stuffed breadsticks that are just to die for. I dream about them sometimes.

We had time to spare after that so we all went our separate ways & I got home in time to enjoy a half hour to myself before picking up my spawn. I spent it trying to finish off the 1st tier in MandyLand of Vampire Wars. It was just nice to worry about nothing for a little while.

Wound up watching Ninja Assasin with Fezziwig, she-spawn watched some parts, it was a little too violent for her. She & I are now on the Raizo bandwagon. She has a thing for long haired Asian dudes? Mostly I blame that on my brother Erin (aka Malakai) because that's basically what he is & she-spawn developed an innocent crush on him during her early years of development. He was living with us then, & heck, he is one dashing young elf prince, so who could blame her?

Also got to watch Invention of Lying which was thoroughly amusing. Hearing Jennifer Garner talk unapologetically about masturbating was just ... ENTERTAINING.

Later that night after all the spawn were put to bed I found Loudquietloud on IFC & watched it. I was feeling so good by then, so free. Like everything really might be okay after all. I have a serious obsession going on with Black Francis. He totally reminds me of my possible new Dungeon Master, Robbie. He knows how to command an audience & yet remain himself in many facets. So sarcastically & romantically charming.

I was in a talkative mood while Snookms was cleaning his firearms, so I spilled the beans on another writing project I am cooking up in my head while we were watching Loudquietloud. The story I've been cooking up is a futuristic sci-fi, kind of following after the nature of Southland Tales. Scientists have discovered a way to hack into the brain matter of animals & realize their capacity to hold information; their brains are basically supermemorymachina, & seeing as there was a recent uncovering of incidents leading to the opinionated & scientific conclusion that all things electric have been directly related to Revelations taking place.('cept in this story I think I'm going to refer to The Revelations instead as The Inevitable.) So you get all these puppies & kittehs & llamas hooked up to the Urth, instead of computarz. The Gov't wants to eventually incorporate all fauna to integrate with the heart & core of Urth in order to avoid The Inevitable.

But ... I dunno. We'll see. I have tons of pages of notes & character names & so forth. Neptune DoLittle & Robertsm Ith. A play on words is alot of it. See if you can see!

Tonight the fam & I are s'posed to see the long awaited ' Diary of a Wimpy Kid ' flick. I am in serious ExciteBike mode about this, I can't stop thinking about it & also I get to grab some Starbux w/ Mysty around 4:30 this afternoon. It's been far too long baby.

So that is all for now...

My reality is way better than everyone elses!

So much to talk about!

Well first I'll start with 'The Box' since that is what is on my mind most.

Decided to watch this with my spawn yesterday, ordered it On Demand since I have that luxury with Comcast. I went against what my mom, dad & brother Eric said about it; none of them liked it.

Well, I DID!

But I guess that is to be expected since I am a fan of Richard Kelly's works. You've got Donnie Darko which has become a cult classic, then of course Southland Tales, which, I dunno how much of a fanbase has gathered from that, but the few people I do know that dig Southland Tales are A-O.K.! in my book as far as taste goes.

I think the biggest problem with Richard Kelly movies is the way they are marketed. They are tryna appeal to a demographic in which doesn't really care about most of what Richard Kelly seems to want to tell in a story. If you read the back of a Donnie Darko dvd, you are deceived by descriptions, as they compare it to Sixth Sense. With Southland Tales, they attempt to pull audience in with Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson! & then of course with 'The Box' they make it look like some reality show that focuses on some cookie cutter couple making a heartfelt decision on whether they get their money or decide to kill a family.

With Kelly it's all in the details. Whether or not the family chooses the money or not is as much an aside as everything else they try to falsely convey in those ridiculous previews.

This movie blew me away with it's story telling. The beautiful details. Oh, how I want to get my grubby little paws on 'The Lightning Book'. & now I realize I am not the only one who fantasizes about comparing science fiction to magical happenstances & such.

When you watch this movie you don't get a happy little couple who has made a concious decision to do what you hope & think is right. You get reality of what most anyone would do in a situation, & you get consequence. Even the minute details of that consequence, almost to a schizophrenic degree. & I love it.

Enter a mysterious man, who is a salesman of sorts, going door to door to offer a once in a lifetime opportunity. Enter a well to do couple that has gone through what any enduring couple has gone through to keep a family financially secure. Enter a whole fucking world behind all of that & you get Arlington Steward, a man who lost half of his face to being struck by lightning, & is now being imbued with the ability to communicate with "those who control the lightning".

Use mid 1970's as a timeline, retro era mingled with some NASA sass as a backdrop, & you have a recipe for magical success in my book.

There is even a hint of what I deem hobo-alchemy may be in this story, sprinkled gracefully all throughout. O', how it maketh me swoon!

So there that is.

This was all yesterday. After the movie was over my spawn talked me into playing Monopoly, but I agreed only because it was Spongebob Monopoly. I folded after realizing my she-spawn was going to hafta sell her goods on 10th street just to pay rent for landing on Tentacle Acres with 4 pineapples & a Krusty Krab shack. The total came out to like, wut? $1, 700 fat ones? She had less than 200 dollhairz to her name so I was like, "Awww! NeverMIND!" Then of course she folded, & David came out the victor. I knew there was trouble when he still had both his 500 bills at this point & then some. Fucking bankers & their goddamned accountability & whatnot!

Rewind back to Friday, just a couple days before. I managed to talk Snookms into taking the spawn & I to see 'Shutter Island'. My baby bro got to make it out with us too, so that was a big plus.

I don't know if it was because I was so damned tired already (we made it to the 10:00 pm showing!) or wut but I just didn't have the typical visceral reaction I do to a movie like this. I went in with my own expectations, halfheartedly acknowledging that they wouldn't be met, but you know what? They were ALL met pretty much. & I was just so zombehfide I guess that I didn't get all 'woo-hoo! score one for me & my prophesies!' ... though I really would have liked to... We didn't get outta that Metropolis til damn near 1 in the morning. But yeah, if you are going to be doing a pyschological 'thriller' that makes me happy, this movie is a prime example of how it should be done. The whole "I reject your reality & substitute my own" theory here is prominent all throughout. Which I am a huge advocator of, cause like, I am straight up sick in the head, y'know? So yeah, another good flick to watch when you ain't tired I s'pose?

Saturday was a lazy day for me, didn't get outta my pj's once! It was a good day. I am sad though because I finished Kurt Vonnegut's 'Breakfast of Champions' & that book had me looking forward to being bored cause it was such a great read. It touched very many surfaces of myself I didn't think I'd ever have the words to express. Kurt Vonnegut has such a talent for doing that so fiercely & graciously. It had me a' heavin' & a hoe'in so much! I think Richard Kelly could do an immaculate job of making that one into a movie, I AM TELLING YEW! I am okay with this though because I can now go resume reading Mordicai's 'Watchtower Gothic'. I am in love with this Blondie character, she uses curse words SO APPROPRIATELY!

My other brother Eric showed up later Saturday evening & he & his daughter wound up spending the night. We stayed up late eating junk foodz, talking about our Seattle days growing up, with Totally Insane & RBL Posse as our soundtrack for the night. A little 'Trigga Gotz No Heart' didn't hurt one bit either.

One last thing that I am pretty jazzed about is that the interview Betsy Dornbusch (aka SexScenes at Starbucks) invited me to do is up @ Electric Spec for those of you that wanna take a peek at.

I was thrilled to have the opportunity to do this interview with her because of the book it was in regard to, Quencher. It's erotica, it's got vamps & it's got muff diving. ALL OF THOSE THINGS HAVE MY NAME ON IT. Now go forth!

Taking a walk on the wilde side...

Floating alone on waves of despair & nothingness. I want to say things I shouldn’t say, or rather, things that shouldn’t be contrived. My therapist has rewired me to say “I wish” instead of “I should have” & that has changed circumstances significantly. But the olde beast, it still yearns for it’s ancient ways of dealing. There are still so many “should haves” washing over this oceania of regret & it’s all I can do to bite my tongue.

I have so much to say darlings, about this dreary world that only reading books about Kilgore Trout can satiate these days. There are secret scribes inside this mechanism that take notes & other gears that tear those notions asunder once the pen hits the paper readily. *Kilgore Trout* *Kilgore Trout* Those 2 words burned themselves into my slumbering imagery through the night, like I sometimes allow the word *Messiah* to do.

In this place I can be safe to be me, but for how long? Another facet of myself chooses to betray my words & make them public, as if to say, “See! I told you you were an ass, Rachel… or … whoever you are for today!” These things make me whimper with invalid frustration.
I have 3 specific images I have deposited into my spank bank of reason. No, not so I can go masturbate freely to the lustful rhythm of my clitoris, more like, thought candy for the night when all the other humans I love have failed me, or like, when I have failed them?
2 are of the female race. They intrigue me. They have puzzle pieces that don’t easily fit into the full picture that is them. They keep me awake @ night wondering about them so. I love their colours.

The other is a male specimen. This one haunts my dreams occasionally. Once I dreamt that they were an unknown roommate living in a loft I had no idea was a part of my abode & above their sleeping quarters was an adorable sign that had the words “Carved of Flesh to Eat Your Young” hanging like those nooses I so adore on the game Hangman. He was reading, laying with his back to his pillow, a shadow & claw volume of sorts, & someone came into the apartment building trying to kill my beloved friend & I, & instead HE killed them with a Rabbitslayer (see 'Chaos War' article). When he was done he simply pointed to the adorable sign, smiled a smile of satisfaction & prophesy, & ascended his ladder to resume reading.

There was another dream where he knocked boots with one of my besties & I was jealous but arguing with my thought propelling self as to why I should be jealous because I was still married in my dream too. He was in a pre-existing state in this dream too, like how I imagine him to possibly be in his past. But I didn’t even know him in my past! It’s funny here too because I feel like some part of me knows some part of him, like a Children-of-the-Grave (see Never-Never Boys) typed thing?

Either way, one should feel so lucky that they partake of my daily reasoning so frequently. But in the swing of things I feel lucky to have them to think of. It’s strange & arduous.

I hate my cogs of reasoning. For keeping me imprisoned. For being far too creative for their own good. I am like the Victor Frankenstein of reasoning. These parts of me have no boundaries. That is a boon, I feel that with every fiber of my unbeing, but @ the same time, it disqualifies me from so much. It easily removes me from the sane category & puts me in the predisposition of ‘highly unplausible’.

Eff you Fates.

Valentine Weekend

For Valentine's Day I got:

• snow! Lots of it.
• Roses that cost 61 fat ones
• A coffee mug that came with those 61 dollar roses that stated it 'loved me'.
• New carpet in the living room & bedroom
• to see that Percy Jackson movie which was surprisingly entertaining
• 'The Breakfast of Champions' by Kurt Vonnegut in the mail (which I fucking adore the shit out of)
• A nice new clean & dustless bedroom in which I was able to sort through a lot of our olde shit so I could make room for our new shit
• Adorable homemade Valentine cards from my spawn

It seemed like there was other stuff I was going to mention, but whatever, I'm in a hurry because I have to brave the snow today for an appointment with my therapist.

But yeah, those roses didn't happen on purpose, I guess Snookms was tryna be all thoughtful by going to a florist & by the time he got out of there he about fainted from what they charged. He initially had hopes that he would get me flowers & then stop by Sprint to buy me a new case for my 'new' phone. But it stopped after 61 dollars came out for the total for a dozen roses & a sunflower. Kinda funny but yesterday he came home from work & was all, "So & so got his flowers from Kroger, THEY WERE 20 DOLLARS, & so did 'so & so' and 'so & so'....but guess what? They got a 20 dollar thank you too!"

This made me giggle alot alot because I took the initiative to go to 'Tasty's', an adult novelty store up the street to finagle around for some sexy lingerie to wear for Snookms on Valentine's Day. Or rather, NIGHT. But uh... yeah, I found what I had hoped, 2 separate sets which were hella pricey considering what they were made of. The 'picture' made the ensembles look like they were going to be made out of far more than just lace & strings, but when I got home & wrastled em on, it was basically spandex for dummiez. But Snookms liked it just fine & I didn't feel all objectified like I was thinking I might. It was pretty cool.

Here's a boobed covered version of one of the ensembles. Mine was tit-less:

The ladies there were really helpful & kind of hot? The chick that rang me up reminded me of some hardcore church lady that really knew her lore in sex toys. & the other I'm pretty sure was a 40 or 50 year old undercover Dominatrix. The store had this sort of shabby chic charm expect everything was lavished in black & red instead of pink & pastel green. There was an 'upstairs' that led to nothingness that I had to hold myself back from climbing upon on more than one occasion & most of the fellers that came in there turned right back around once they got to the back of the store. There was this 'Show Stealer' cock in the back that had me laughing out loud for it's enormity.

So yeah, I couldn't find any pics for the other ensemble, it was basically a dress made of fishnet, like a mini dress & came with a matching thong & the part that hold your boobs was made of this geisha looking red material & the boobs had no cover except for this black tie up ribbon. I looked alot better in it than I thought I would?

Also, yeah the carpets. Snookms took it upon himself to put them in this weekend, he worked so damn fast, got one room done in 2 hours & the other one in 1. The hardest part about it all was just moving all our shit out of the way. But it gave me an opportunity to move stuff around (one of my favourite things to do!) & dust & re-organize things. It looks really good.

Katie wrote a lovely review of my book "Lucifer's Scar; A Love Story" a while back & I wanted to link to it again here. I was really walking around on eggshells the whole time she read it because I knew she'd be honest if she didn't like it, (which I highly appreciate!) & she wound up enjoying it anyway. The review is really thorough & she got all the parts of the story I was trying to tell & by the end of me reading her review I was experiencing some hardcore, toe-curling delight.

I took the review of Adam Lowe's Trog Rose down that I wrote because he suggested I try submitting it for publication for a few online magz. So I am trying my hand @ that to see what comes of it. Adam is fantabulous. If I don't get any nibbles it'll be back here where I will pet it & love it & be proud to call it my own.

I had a really great 3 day weekend with the family & I miss having them around already. We sat around & attempted to watch 'Couples Retreat' last night & as boring as it was they actually stayed around & watched the whole thing. I was really surprised because I kept dosing off & only woke up in time to see Vince Vaugn owning ass on Guitar Hero. But it was a pretty huge yawn fest.

Welp, I'm off like a dirty shirt.