throned in blood

current mood: dead to the world
currently listening to: dead to the world
currently watching: dead to the world



it's been over 24 hours since i saw jucifer live & i'm still in the kind of daze where all i want to do is talk about what i experienced. i mean! like, all day in class today, & even last night in my math class all i wanted to do was tell everyone, 'GUESS WAT I FUCKING SAW JUCIFER'. & i was so sad because the only person that would ever even care was mysty.

so i'll start by apologizing up front & center for the horrific fucking recording that i did on my camera phone of jucifer. Amber was so fucking tall & slanky that i thought positioning the camera would be an advantage, but it turns out it only ruined the visual sharing of what was experienced. & to be fair, i was just in complete fucking awe and my senses kind of went into shock so that anything that made sense to me pretty much went out the window for the rest of the night.

jucifer didn't even go on until 1 in the morning & i was in a super sleep haze because it was a school night & so ready to go home. but when Amber came out with this pitch black hooded cloak on, tinkering with her Wall o' Sound, me & mysty were all hush-hush & totally gawking. i mean, it was dark as fuck & she STILL had her hood draped over her head & would only peak her head out long enough to make sure all the amps & stacks & lights for the show were working up to par. i just kept thinking to myself, "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN".

next thing you know, her husband, who is the drummer, comes out & starts testing out the drums. he's wearing some tight cut off hipster looking jean shorts & a tee shirt with his hat turned to the side. my tits & pussy just kind of melted when he started pounding away on his drum set. & the show hadn't even started yet.

finally Amber slinks off her hooded cloak to reveal this sleek, silk coven-esque looking dress that is blacker than the heart of nosferatu. her hair is a sickly pale blonde & is tied in two loosely braided piggy tails on each side of her head with black & white feathers dangling from the ends. her eyebrows are as black as motherfucking midnight & she just keeps her face covered with her hair the whole time. then she slings this metallic silver flying v around her body & starts wailing away on her axe. i look over & her man is screaming into the mic while he's blasting away on his drum set & i'm all like, "HOLY FUCK HE SINGS TOO???"

mysty has already seen jucifer live in bloomington, i was supposed to be with her,that night but shit happened & i had to cancel. so us seeing her together was like this heroin like ritual that we felt we absolutely had to engage in with one another. we take one last look at each other before shit started to get real & went in for the plunge.

so ... the whole tiny little stage goes dark, & then these green lasers start flailing all around Amber like some kind of crazy satanic-fairy haze & Amber is banging her head all the fuck over the place while she cranks out the most amazing drone i've ever heard in my life. it reminded me so much of sunn 0))) & my heart started beating so fast because it was everything i ever imagined it to be. she starts screaming into the mic while she's banging away on her axe & i look over at her husband & he is LITERALLY mouthing every fucking word she is singing & he has this mad look of fuck-passion on his face like there was not going to be a damn thing that got in the way of his expression of love for his wife's art. every word she screamed he had a gesture for like the song was etched into his the very essence of his soul & it was just like mysty described: you felt like you were intruding on some sort of intimate act, but you just couldn't look away. & you could tell he was in so much pain from beating the shit out of his set, but he wasn't going to let anything stop him from performing to his wife's expectations. & she had no doubt in his ability, not once did she look over at him in concern or doubt. he was so fully imbued with the vibe that he started punching his heads instead of beating them with his sticks. i about fainted from the erotic-ness of it all.

i also forgot to mention that while Amber was getting all her equipment ready that i saw her GREASING the neck of her guitar up like a well oiled cock. when she started actually playing i noticed that she was oiled up all the way to her forearms in that shit. & oh GOD did she need it for how spectacularly she was was wailing away. she was belting out these oldschool metallica sounding riffs that made me so jealous i started whimpering. at one point she turned completely around, facing away from the audience (mysty, werewolf, & i were smack dab in the front, inches away from her) & she gathers up the ends of her dress, gets on her knees & just starts belting away on her axe in this crazy, fucked up, masturbatory kind of trance, right in front of her Wall of Amps, just getting blasted away by her own music-made jism. out of the corner of my eye i see mysty's werewolf making homage gestures with his arms & mysty just nods in perfect agreeance. i love how mysty & eric were made for each other like that.

so like, i'm totally alone in the this experience in that "romantic" kind of sense, but i'm not sad about it at all because i felt like it was a very intimate thing for me. i know this sounds stupidly ridiculous & cliche, but i really feel like that whole night changed my outlook on life. i feel like, maybe there really are things & people & channels out there in sync totally with everything that makes me tick.

the drive home was like a dream, my hearing was totally massacred, even though mysty hooked me up with ear protection, & everything sounded like i was on the planet jupiter, sound traveling through time & space like spheres of liquid metal. i was able to put my brain on auto-pilot the whole ride home since mysty & eric said i could just follow them home in my own vehicle, so that is what i did. & i love how smoothly snookms' car rhythm flows once you get it in a good shifting trance. i rolled all the windows down & just let the humid midnight summer breeze hit me full force while i daydreamed of how beautifully black Amber's eyebrows were in contrast to how sickly pale her face & bleach-blonde hair was. & the way mysty's flawless complexion reflected the unholy light of that night so beautifully & perfectly.

that night has seriously made up for every shitty thing, for every heart-wrenching disappointment that has ever occurred in my life.

birthday blitz!

current mood: thor vs. loki
currently listening to: pieces of quiet -khanate
currently reading: the wasteland



oh, so hay guess what? snookms' vacation totally happened this week! & so did my 35th birthday & one of my brother's birthdays & then 2nd oldest's, & then sunday is snookms' 34th birthday. so. many. birthdays. yOU. GUISE.

i guess i'll start with my birthday, it came first. again, i was really feeling the birthday girl blues, but i'm over it. monday came with a fresh new outlook on life. i wanted to have a nice & clean smelling house, so i took joy in prettying the place up. wound up needing to make a trip up to supertarget for a few things & snookms offered to take over what i hadn't finished up. i really wanted to kick the sun's ass because it was killing my eyes & giving me a potential migraine headache. i am an allstar pro @ losing my shades tho, so i didn't have anything to protect my eyes. decided that needed to go on my list of things to purchase once i got to target. before i left to go i told snookms i wanted to try this new taiwan tea house restaurant in castleton for my birthday dinner right? well i get to target after all that gridlock bs & am like "fuck all of that, let's just go somewhere close". so we went to the chinese buffet on 10th. but by the time i get home from target i'm all drained from the sun beating MY ass. those 17 dollar sunglasses came a dollar too late i guess? so when i get home i don't want to do anything but lay in bed until i feel normal again. so while i am doing this snookms goes out & when he gets home i awaken to a box to my head with a picture of a girl running on it. so i'm all "oh hey! snookms bought me a pedometer since i am all up on the staying in shape front now?" & pass out again for a minute. then i remember registering the word "sprint" in my head & then i'm all "oh! that's an effing fancy cell phone right there!" snookms got me an android. i've not ever had a super fancy phone like that so i was really excited to have technology at my fingertips. it was a touchscreen & i didn't realize that at first; i kept trying to slide the keyboard out, haha! but then snookms came sauntering in the bedroom & showed me all the ropes since he already has a smart phone. at first i thought he had the victory fanfare ringtone from ff7 put on my phone, but that was just his phone ringing with the personal ringtone he had set up for me. i got a big kick out of that & it sort of flung me out of my "i'm sick please feel sorry for me depression". it's the little things you guys!

after that we all made it out to the buffet. i didn't eat a whole lot because i didn't want to get attacked by that migraine again. i even avoided playing around with my new phone for too long so as to avoid it's return. after that i was in the mood to be one with nature (i usually get that away just before the sun goes down these days) & so we headed out toward avon park. didn't make it in time tho, it closes a 9 & it was right on the dot when we got there. & i forgot to tell you guys all about the last time we went there a week or so ago. there was these folks out there practicing their martial arts, two older guys specifically were in the "bark" (which is actually recycled tires instead of wood that are cut into tiny pieces that have been made to look like bark) doing all kinds of amazing backflips. i was cheering them on while shespawn & i were on the swings & we totally got a free show from them. this dood was doing backflips off some 12 foot playground equipment! & he was trying to teach his friend/pupil how to do backflips & what not to do when doing when. i mean he was so elegant that he'd be all, "see, i USED to do it like this" (insert less than perfect formation) "but now i do it like THIS" (insert perfection). i walked over to where snookms was shooting hoops with the other 2 spawn & told them about this awesomeness & of course they wanted to see it for themselves. then we all walked back over to them & i introduced the family, asked questions & asked if he could show off some of his moves. he was super friendly & knew exactly what moves to pull off to bring out the "oohs & ahhs" from us. i guess he is in charge of some kind of gym that helps to keep kids out of trouble & was teaching/prepping them for some show he's getting ready to put on for the public. i wished him well in his journey & gave him encouragement. i wish i would've remembered to ask for some kind of website or something, he was really great. but i digress, this was again, last week's events. nothing happened this time since the park was closed so i think i remember us just driving around for an hour or so. we came home & i made peach dumplings from a pancake mix i got online. the failure here was in my forgetting to remember how gross nutmeg is. so the batch i made the next day came out better since i remembered to eliminate that fucking ingredient.

the next day was a haze, except for me thumbing through the last bit of mordicai's book"the wasteland". my nose has been buried in that book off & on since last week, i've been excited to get to the ending of it, tho i haven't quite made it yet. i'm on page 187 where lovely Gillick is having to fight off the attack of ogres & a giant acid leaking snail. i have this to say so far, i really like how mordicai introduces the element of surprise in the book. i really don't see the shit coming, & when it does i'm like "whoa holy fuck, i didn't even predict that at all!" & i really enjoy that a lot. & i also like the way he uses vampires in his books. they scare me & mystify me & glamour me the way they used to! woohoo to that. so that is what i'll say about that for now.

as the hour grew late the turner party became restless & so we set out to go driving once again & then next thing you know we end up in greenwood @ movies8 to see "thor". & see, here is the thing about that movie. i see a shitty preview & typically i don't get phased by those too much. but something just told me not to trust my instinct to see it anyway. so i held off. & then when we saw it i was kind of mad for listening to myself to not listen to myselfffffffffffff. pretty dumb, right? i really enjoyed that movie a lot. loki & the frost giants were what made my night the mostest, & then thor being cut like nobody's business. & you know what? i had no complaints whatsoever about idris elba as heimdall.



i think he is an eloquent actor & sexy as all get out. especially when he was laura linney's part time lover in "the big c".

wednesday was set aside for snookms dr. appt with the surgeon @ clarian west, he needed to get a second opinion on whether or not his suspicions were to be confirmed that he had a hernia. & guess wut you guys? he doesn't have a hernia, HE HAS 3. yes, can you fucking believe that shit? i am so glad i went to that appointment with him, because i would have had no clue exactly what all this meant for him. he has to get surgery now & it's going to take him 4 weeks to fully recover. so like, he has a hernia in his belly button (which has explained away his most adorable but ever so sensitive "outie" all these years, the doc even confirmed this shit) & two other hernias resting neatly on each opposite of his belly button. i've always been a fan of symmetry, y'know!?!? i am telling you all right now, it was everything in my power i had to muster up to not pass out from the doctor opening up the hernia brochure to show us what exactly had happened to my snookms. it was like looking at a fucking brochure about akira. & then explaining the surgery is basically explaining how you fix a flat on a bicycle. you get some mesh, & just patch that fucker up (for the ones with symmetry, anyhow). the belly button one will require the doctor to sew the muscle back up where it has torn, before anymore of poor ol' snookms guts come spilling out. so this has been a real stress on me, worrying about snookms everytime he clutches his stomach. he shared with me that he has suspected this for years, now that he's read up on it. he thought all along it was just some re-ocurring cramp from lifting so many heavy things when he used to frame houses for a living, which he's been doing since he was fucking 15 years old & all the way up until just last year getting hired at this new city job he has. such a scary thing, man.



snookms promised to me that he was okay to go to the kings island trip his mom wanted to treat us to on thursday, so we went. i knew he would be more bummed if we didn't go anyway, so i just kept reminding myself of that whenever i started to worry. we had a lot of fun there, & snookms took the pain medicine the dr. prescribed, which he claims makes him feel "stupid". i think that helped take any edge off he might have been experiencing. the first coaster i got to ride with snookms when we got there was the firehawk, & that was a pretty decent ride. the mechanics of it have you going from a sitting position to a lying down one, & then you are going head first into the coaster, which disables you from seeing a whole lot of what is in front of you. but i stuck my little head out like a good little kender would to see what adventure lay ahead & it was funner that way. after that i just kind of stayed with whoever in the party was not down for the spinning rides, since they make me puke my brains out. we went on the log water rides which are always great & then spent a good portion of the day in boomerang bay where they have a wave pool that simulates the ocean's movement. the other kids ran off & got in the 2 hour lines for waterslides but i was perfectly content with bobbing up & down in the pretend ocean. we met up with everyone in the parking lot for a sandwich lunch & snookms had fun blasting the best of skid row & forcing his brother to have flashbacks of their childhood together. it was really cute to see snookms & his brother singing along to "youth gone wild" & never missing a beat. it's like seeing two picture perfect housewives doing "the donnas" karaoke.

& so that leads us to friday. snookms, jr. & i had a date w/ the special needs coordinator at mike jr's school since he is making the transition from jr. high to high school this year. we were able to get his schedule & a more in depth tour of the school so that he would be a little more familiar with his surroundings. & let me just say thank GOD for shit like this, because back when i was going to school these kinds of opportunities were just not available for us. or at least if they were, i was not made aware of them. because believe me, i would have taken up on them in a heartbeat. anxiety tore me in fucking knots because of not being able to better understanding my potential surroundings.

when that was done & over with we came home for a bit & by then i was pretty emotional. i get this way every year when it finally sinks in for me that my kids are getting older. i also miss them very much when they go back because they are some of my best friends in life, so my heart remembers that too. i cried on snookms' shoulder for a little bit about that & he was the total gentleman he always is when it comes to me crying & it helped me a lot. once that was addressed we met up with snookms sister to give her back her daughter since she asked to spend the night with shespawn after the kings island trip. then we went out to zionsville & got pizza at my favouritest pizza joint ever, "amore's". they have pepperoni stuffed breadsticks that taste like how i would imagine the word "beautiful" to taste if ever it could be tasted.

after that we all did some school supply shopping at "big lots" & then clothes & shoe shopping at "shoe carnival" & "rue21". both the places were packed like sardines so we tried to get out of there quickstyle.

made it home to relax, home, sweet, home. how we miss you when we are gone away from you for more than a day! snookms & i got right into our jammies & played the "hey, wanna spend the night?" game, which basically entails me asking him to call his parents & ask if we can have a sleepover & then him saying okay & then me saying "what are we gonna do" & then him saying all the fun stuff we already do, like watch "burn notice" or "transformers cartoons" & eat fruity pebbles & build forts. i always crack up really hard when he says all this cos he says it like he's 5 & its kind of cute in a really goofy way.

& now it's 5:08 in the morning & it is officially my 2nd oldest's bday.