Thursday, December 17, 2009

The lack of a root beer jellybean can still manage to = FUCKING SUCCESS

I am SICK. The spawn are SICK. There are many traumatic elements at play in the hands of the almighty currently. But I'm still here, alive, kickin & a' breathin', SO FUCK IT I SAY.

This week has been a whirlwind of ridiculous bullshit. Today has been the icing on the feces cake.

  • Took the kids to urgent care today; they have strep throat.

  • Dropped off prescription request for the antibiotics the doctor prescribed.

  • Took spawn home.

  • Went back out to pick up prescription meds, realized my throat is really fucking sore all o' a sudden.

  • "Perhaps just sympathy pains?", I muse to muh' self....

  • I trudge on.

  • Stop @ the Warlock's Wife's pad to borrow a 20.

  • Go to bank to deposit it so Snookms has enough gas in his truck to make it home from work.

  • Make it home just in time to chat w/ Let Dawg & tell her thanks again for all the Christmas Goodies before I have to head back out to pick up the Jr. from school.

  • Drive once again!

  • Come home.

  • Feel faint. Sore throat.

  • Take nap.

  • Snookms awakens me.

  • I feel like SHIT.

  • My throat hurts when I BREATHE.

  • Snookms has to leave to go see his grandpa at the hospital.

  • I am here at home now, watching Riley secretly make out with some cute emo boy on Degrassi, wondering what the fuck just hit me.

  • *scratches noggin*

So that is that. I'm kind've feverishly delirious right now, wanting to babble about a lot of things that don't make much sense. So bare with me.

Oh snap! Riley just head butted Savv for making a snide gay remark! #degrassihashtag!

Let's see... so um, the spawn (well, 2 of em, anyway) are on antibiotics & I'm thinkin I need to get my ass to the Minute Clinic & see if I can't get in on some of that spore action too.

There is some other pretty bad shit going on right now too, but due to the honoring of privacy I want to hold in regard to the situation, I shall remain silent until further notice.

Tomorrow/tomarrow I'm s'posed to meet up with my kiddoes' school psychologist, the speech therapist & also the school's occupational therapist @ Panera for lunch. They want to take me out to celebrate muh book! I think I might still brave the waters if I'm not feeling too terribly ill. Already I had to cancel once & felt pretty awful about it.

Got to hang with my 'baby' brother yesterday for a few. He's all enrolled in college & shit now, I am envious but I shall join him soon! Seriously considering going for some sort of counseling/mental health courses. I've always wanted to blow shit up with my mind?

After I took him back to his current place of abode I drove home feeling a sweet serenity fall upon me that I hadn't felt since I started taking herbal supplements. It was quite nice & I cried in the moment cause it was like having an old friend back in my life that I hadn't seen in far too long.

Came home to find a package from Leticia. I texted her & said she was a madwoman! What was she thinking! & THANK YOU also & of course. She said to open it now instead of waiting til Christmas so I hopped in the shower right quick & bailed the fuck out. Open the lovely Christmas packaging to find "A Boy & His Blob" for Wii, "Heavenly Guardians" for PS2, Harajuku Lovers G, & many burned copies of various cds!!! "Akon" for my baby bro," Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix "(for moi!), "Kings of Leon" (for me too!) & a Leticia medley special (for all of us fool folk!) I could not believe it!

Snookms was like, "Hey! I was gonna get you "A Boy & His Blob!" for Christmas!" Too late! He even teased & said he should've snagged the game before I got home from taking my bro back to his work release facility & wrapped it up as his own. I thought it was pretty giggle inducing?

But yes! The trouble on Blobolonia... The spawn & I have been taking turns playing off & on ever since last night, & I tell you, it is pure beauty & whim. Everything I had hoped & imagined for it to be. & also?


He's like, fucking Ripley & shit, only in a BLOB SUIT!!!! It is so going to be worth treating the blob like it's my bitch. "Get away from her, YOU BLooooooooooooooooB!"

Other cool & fun junk...

Currently sending chapters out of Lucifer's Scar to Mysty, Leticia, my brother whose pseudonym is Malakai, & Katie. I'm kinda cringing in my husky sized panties here, wondering how lousy they might think it is.

Also, this is my new twitter backround:

It makes me feel all bouncy & polite!

I've been tryna read up on the plethora of 'Poison Elves' Mysty's Werewolf slung me & am really digging it hardcore. I only initially started out with a Poison Elves 'companion'. I mean, wut kind of shit is THAT, right? So yeah, he quickly schooled me on what to start with, dude has an immense collection of what was once deemed "I LUSIPHUR". They don't call muh redhead awesome for nothin!

Also one other last thing! I have to say, whether he chose this as his vocation or naught, fucking Mordicai is a wizard when it comes to writing.

There! I said it!

But yeah, I'm reading his newest NaNo publication in between 'Poison Elves' breaks, & man! There's just this world inside his head that I totally get, but would never be able to put into words anyone but him could describe. I'm not like, crushing on the feller or anything, but seriously. He's pretty bad ass with his prose if you ask me. He's up there with Gaiman & Gene Wolfe in my little ol' book!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Congratulations! You have destroyed the vile Red Falcon. Take this shitty ending as reward for your 15 minute trouble.

Ohhhhh! I feel terrible! & I am not even sick!

I made the mistake of going back to sleep after I dropped Tha Jr. off at school & I am paying for it BIG TIME.

I guess I just have to face the fact that I am a night owl & work around that predisposition. Snookms & I both...

We've been staying up way past our bedtime for the past week or so; resulting in little cat naps here & there as the day wanes into our beautiful night. After we get the kiddoes all tuckered away we team up on Contra (killing about 15 minutes), make popcorn, watch old movies (Johnny Got His Gun was on AMC the other night!) & eventually meld into our own devices... It's fun while it lasts but when it's time to get back on the bandwagon? Oh boy HOWDY does it SUCK.

So I was ridiculously excited to be sitting with Snookms to watch 'Johnny Got His Gun'. It's always been on some secret 'Things I Wanna Do Before I Die' list or another. So there's one to scratch off! I loved the movie, don't get me wrong, but the whole time I am thinking, "Man, they need to do a modernization of this, that would be so awesome!" & then I realize that maybe they already have? I just know that I always say that & that I always wind up hating on the shit, so I always wind up asking myself, "Why?"

I have two of my spawn home with me currently. Tryna look at the bright side of things & see it as, "At least it's not on Christmas and or Christmas Break!" but I was not having it after She-Spawn was hacking her guts out this morn'. Sick is sick for anybody & I fucking hate it.

Currently on ch. 18 of Lucifer's Scar in the way of 'editing' process. & when I say edit I throw the term around quite loosely; more than anything I am just making sure there are no terribly embarrassing mistakes. The rest of it I am just dissassociating myself from, but still though, by the end of the day I am happy with it thus far.

Kind've sweating Christmas this year in the way of shopping for everyone. Things did not turn out as financially prosperous as I'd hoped they would, but still, each year gets subsequentially better than the next, so I am not going to bitch. 3 Christmas's ago my brothers were in the hospital for a car accident, 1 of my brothers we could not even SEE while he was getting pins & surgeries & such because he was in hospital prison/jail, & then there are other Christmases(?) I don't even want to care or think about anymore.

I thought my brother Eric was going to have to end up in the hospital over Christmas again this year too but somehow it didn't happen that way. He had an accident at work with the table saw & cut through 2 of his knuckles. He almost had to lose his index finger because the saw blade consumed so much of his knuckle bone, tendon & muscle, but the surgeon was able to come through & work his fleshy might & magic. He wound up getting 2 pins in each of the fingers that were hacked through & yesterday he had yet another surgery to have the pins removed to install ones that did not protrude from his flesh. So now the adamantium claws are all safe & tucked underneath, no?

When I first got to see him out of surgery his whole right side was slouched; they put a block in his arm! He was completely numb from the neck & down to his waist. (On his right side.) It almost reminded me of a stroke victim. But again, he's been a real fucking champ through it all, he always has when it comes to his vocation in life man. The kiddo just about broke his back when he was in 2nd grade, was told he would probably never walk again, then when he punctured his lung in that Christmas car accident they said he would never be the same. & now this? The dude is a fucking cyborg I'm telling you! I just KNOW it. I think I shall start calling him BISHOP. Not even playing around here!

Let's see... Other stuff.

Oh! 'Brothers' was a good flick. Very emotional. Spiderman made me cry. So did Donnie Darko. Not so much Padme as much as her oldest daughter, but yeah, it was a real tear fest for me. So many issues that were too close to home. But it was a good thing I s'pose? I'd definately recommend it.

I have pretty much put Castle Age & Vamp Wars on the backburner. I mean, WAY the fuck back there, where the rice & the gravy & the Stouffer's Stuffing mix get dried, hardened & forgot all the fuck about? Seriously. Mostly Vamp Wars is pissing me off because there are too many items you need to request from your clan in order to move ahead. I'm okay with that the first few times, but after awhile I just am not digging sounding like a needy vamp bitch? & also, they have this new 'portal' they've opened up where you can saunter around New York (yeah right!) but you need Blood o' the Elders to do the missions there & they make you jump through hoops just to get the shit. Sorry. I'm not that goddamned desperate for my vamp fix that I have to get on my knees & put in elbow grease for the shit. I'll just go back to watching True Blood if it gets that bad. That is about the only Vamp related thing on this earth (aside from Castlevania SOTN) that doesn't dissapoint me or piss me off.

Don't even get me STARTED on Vampire dissapointments!

But yes. It was good while it lasted. I had me my fun & that is all that matters in the end of things. I'll still dabble, but it just won't be the same.

Castle Age is a whole 'nother boring story. I still enjoy what it has to offer I guess, but I just know that I am not down for spamming everyone's Facebook page with Monster Requests. Screw that!

Oh well. Christmas is a' comin & there will be many new games to play what with the spawn's gift requests getting filled by grandparents & whatnot.

Also, I'm pretty fucking sure Snookms bought me a trench knife for Christmas. They had this purdy sleek black baby @ the flea market when we went there over the weekend to look for swords for Jr. & it was decently priced. He thought I wasn't caring or paying attention, but that is my FRONT. So we shall see?

We are talking about seeing Sherlock Holmes on Christmas Day, I dunno how it'll pan out though. But it sounds like a smart plan to me? I told Snookms not to worry about me for Christmas & that maybe we could just go see that as a family for my present, but I'm not gonna be a crybaby about things if it doesn't happen.

But FUCK! Did you see Robert Downey Jr.'s abs??? Typically I am not a sucker for the abs, but sheeeeeeeeeezus fucking CHRIST! It totally worked for ol' Julian! Ripped like a SONOFABITCH.


Other stuff I have put on the backburner....

  • Teenage Wasteland
  • Dying my hair purple
  • Laundry
  • Reading a lot of stuff in lieu of 'Watchtower Gothic' & 'Poison Elves'
  • Dusting
  • A whole general slew of things that require my focused attention & effort when it comes to keeping the house in order
  • Self induced orgasms
  • Eating out every other fucking night
  • Writing a review that will spew forth how fond I am of Adam Lowe's Troglodyte Rose

Hopefully soon SOME of these things will come back to the front & center, but what with the cold, the Holidays, the spawn being continuously sick, & my brother having a bionicle hand, I've got to reallocate my stats!

Speaking of which! Katie & I must be on the same dreaming wavelength because I too have been dreaming Snookms & I are back to back in full on RPG action. It was intense, but uh...COOL?

If only dreams came true. Snookms wouldn't be caught dead in chain mail.

Friday, December 4, 2009

All Hail Krampus!

Ugh! I'm feeling pretty damn listless for a Friday night. Typically I am face deep in reading a great book, watching a great flick, or giving a great blow job. Right now all I feel is sleepy, cranky & BORED.

I guess it's just the wheels on the bus slowing the heck down after 2 weeks of nonstop GO-GO-GO.

Also, I was without the net for like, almost 5 days & shit. As per usual, our shit got disconnected like it does every month, but I paid the bill hella quick this time, I promise! Then there was issues with Comcast getting our signal back for the internet, everything else was back though, our phone, On Demand services & whatnot. But no fucking internet, & we had to wait til Thursday before a technician could come out. When he finally did get here it took him a matter of 5 minutes to get our shit going & was kind've halfway bitching about how the phone operators at Comcast TOTALLY could've taken care of the issue over the phone themselves. HMPH?

But whatever, I'm over it. Over & OUT.

Let's talk first about the thing on my mind MOST right now.

I'm pretty dissapointed with my NaNo novel at this moment. Maybe that can explain my blase mood right now... I dunno, I just... Well, I was feeling pretty great about it, right? Didn't even look back, just kept on going. Well, today, I finally get the chance to go back & start reading it from the beginning & I'm starting feel like, "Ew, maybe this isn't as great as I anticipated it to be?" So now I'm all bummed. I mean, I'm only as far as chapter 4, but I keep dosing off while reading it & feel the need to edit every other fucking word. Which is typically fine on any other jolly ol' day, but I guess I just wasn't in the mood? Maybe my perspective just needs to be refreshed after a couple of good night's sleep. I think I've only got like a total of 20 hours in the last week? ACK.

Speaking of last week! Ooh man. What adventures, I tell you! Thanksgiving proves to be the most eventful of holidays since these past few years. I'll start with Wednesday evening, which was great fun because Snookms & I kept pretending it was Friday all night & got excited cause it was almost as though there were still 3 Fridays in a row to celebrate after that (he didn't have to work; HOLLA!) so we were being pretty silly with each other. We took the spawn out late at night & went on a Target shopping spree for turkey & all the trimmings, plus I got the remaining ingredients to make Lumpia, the filipino version of an eggroll (but way better in my opinion) & we stopped at Wendy's so I could try Let-Dawg's Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe recommendation. I was not in the least bit dissapointed.

When we got home I can't even remember what we did but I do know that Snookms & I had lots of teenager-like-sex all weekend. We've been having tons o' that lately; it's been pretty 'fun' as he likes to refer to it.

Thursday was all about preparing for my mom & dad's turkey celebrations, as my youngest brother was able to get out on a pass from work release for 10 whole hours. It was the first time in 3 years since the six of us (me, my mom, dad & 3 brothers) had been together in the same room. We did this really cheesy Team Voltron kind of hug thing & all started getting ready to cry like giant mammoth babies but I broke it up before the waterwerks could be brought down upon us. I'm like, the thankless superhero n shit.

Snookms, Spawn & I stayed there til about 8 in the eve having fun chopping it up with the families. I am pretty much joined at my brothers' hips when we see each other & we have even started considering going to the bathroom together to save on missed time with one another. I know, I know. SHUTUP.

So after we left my mom & dad's pad we headed to Mike's sister's domain, where we elected to just spend the night, we had planned this a week ago actually, seeing that Black Friday started at 5:00 am anyway & I have made it a point to accompany Mike's sister every year now as part of a tradition. To be honest, I don't really go for the sales (even though they are pretty grand) I just think it is great entertainment to see humanity at it's 'finest'. Funny thing here is that Kristi is a fucking PRO at dealing with 'tha noize' that is Black Friday. She knows all the secret mantras, passageways & tombstones to push & scoot aside! I'm tellin ya! Eastmost peninsula has the SECRET!

The spawn were really excited about us all spending the night there, they brought all their game systems & She-Spawn even brought Castlevania SOTN cause I got her hooked on that em-effer. We got their & pretty much everyone in the abode was appropriately intoxicated. I was greeted by a very staggering sister in law at the door; she had been drinking & cooking for 2 days straight & totally had the shit eating smile to prove this insanity. So not only was Mike's sister, husband & spawn there, but Snookms' dad, his step mom & some other Harley Davidson lovin neighbor who I had no idea about; & they were all plastered too. I had to go 'commando' for the remainder of the evening because Mike's dad made me piss my pants with laughter. He took turns calling every member of the household a 'punk -BIIIIIIIIIYATCH' at the top of his lungs & I just lost it when he turned to his wife & called her one too. He was ... immensely hilarious. It was pretty funny seeing him call his own son (Snookms) a 'punk biiiiiiyatch' repeatedly throughout the evening. Many other crazy conversations took place that night & Mike's dad officially knows that I want to take him home with me one night. He is seriously, pretty fucking hot for an old geezer. I am thoroughly pleased with the prospect of how Snookms is going to look in 20-30 years. Cause if it's anything like his pops, IT'S ON.

Stayed up through the evening after all the intoxicated people were vanquished, even brought my pajamas & laptop (so's I could work on Lucifer's Scar, gawud, I'm so delusional sometimes!) & typed the night away till it was time to shimmy up for the Black Friday madness.

It really wasn't bad at all this year; no waiting outside for an hour with hundreds of other irate humans, & they weren't hostile, neither were the employees. We went in, got our shit, waited in line for about maybe 15 minutes tops? & then we were on our way to the next greedy corporation. We got to Target & turned right back around when we realized the lines went all the way to the back of the store. Kristi was still feeling pretty 'electrick' so we didn't spend too much time at Menards. But that is usually our triumverate of haunts that we make a concerted effort to hit up each year; Walmart, Target & then Menards. So we did 2 out of 3. Not too bad. I was able to snag a 7 dollar Joker (yeah! I said Heath Ledger alright, WUT?!) zip up hoodie & The Phantom of the Opera on dvd for 2 dollars for my troubles, & some decent loot for Snookms & Spawn. Got Snookms the new Star Trek on dvd for 7 fat ones, The Dark Knight for 5, or was it 7? & the new Joel Nosteratu Osteen book for 9. Also bought Snookms a down pillow cause he misses the one he used to have when he was a little 10 year old chronic masturbator. There is just something that makes me feel all warm & fruity within when I know I have had something to do with bringing some semblance of that era back for Snookms. I'm like, "Here! Go take this pillow in the bathroom & masturbate like a little kid again!" Sometimes we manage to miss them lonely days, y'know?

Alright! Now, on the way home from Mike's sister's slumber partay, Snookms & I take it upon ourselves to bring (along with our own 3 mind you!) 3 of her spawn home with us. We were pretty beligerent & delirious from lack of sleep, we both had to sleep on couches, apart from one another's embrace; NEVER A GOOD THING. Well, we exchanged some pretty harsh words as a result of our misgivings. Ultimately it boiled down to him telling me that I "need to learn when to shut up" & me threatening to "throw him bodily out of the god damn car myself". I was pretty amazed at how awful we were able to be with each other? I mean, we NEVER talk that bad to each other! But alas, we eventually made up when we got home, he apologized for telling me to shut up & I said sorry for wanting to throw him out of the car. Later that night it made for some pretty dirty, knock down, drag out sex, that is all I am tryna say. I TOTALLY felt like a slut-ho. But in a good way.

Saturday was OUR turkey day, Snookms cooked an awesome 20 pound turkey but he decided to be a total jerkface & not stuff it with any onions or potato(e)s like I commanded him to. It still came out good & so did everything else & it was really nice to have our own leftovers to rummage through at midnight. After we got all of Mike's sister's spawn evacuated we elected to take a family drive downtown, listening to Christmas muzaks & admiring the giant tree that was all lit up at The Circle downtown. It was crowded down there & we were stuck in traffic for a long time next to Borders & I kept peeking in there while we were waiting & wishing we could be in there sauntering the halls & secret passageways. They even have stairs at that Borders! So I ventured to ask if Snookms wanted to park & walk there & he said okay. We had fun people watching on our trek to the two storied Borders downtown & it made me miss my Teenage Wasteland days real bad; me, Let-Dawg, a fat bowl o' the good schtuff & Haight & Ashbury for miles & miles. Those were the days yo! But I have my own days in the here & now & they are equally great.

So this Borders is beautiful. There were even places to sit & drink Seattle's Best Coffee on the stair landing; I kept picturing Mysty & I in there all tucked in one of the nook & crannies giggling away about double dongs & Marduk. It will happen one day. It SHALL happen!

Was able to talk Snookms into purchasing 'Brave Story' for me, I was really aiming for volume 7 of the Sandman series, but that was, of course, THE ONLY ONE THEY DIDN'T HAVE. So I took a gander at what Brave Story had to offer in the graphic novel section & decided to brave the waters. I've only read a couple of pages so far but it seems to me like a very child oriented story. I'm not complaining, just reporting what I've gathered so far....

I finally dug my claws deep enough into the Book of the New Sun novel that Mordicai recommended me a while back. I really can't wait till the kid's winter break starts so that I can't truly sink my teeth in, cause already I am in love with Severian's narrative. I'm at the part where his doggie is near dead & he has gone out to look for it.

Speaking of other books; I am also STILL tryna to trek my way through the rest of 'City of Saints & Madmen' AND 'The Center of the Universe'. I'm also awaiting Mordicai's ' Watchtower Gothic ' to arrive in the mail any day now. He's quickly become one of my favorite authors. (Along with Neil Gaiman, Nicola Griffith, Sexy Betsy, Jess Watsky, Kathulhu, & Miss Erica Orloff) His chronic use of the ampersand has worn off on me terribly! See????

Other good stuff....

  • Our Christmas tree is up! christmas tree Pictures, Images and Photos
  • I got to watch 'High Tension' with Mysty earlier this afternoon (which was off the fucking HOOK)
  • She also bought me the most adorable Jesus candle holder, which touched me a whole helluva lot, considering she doesn't share my delusions. She even paired it with a black candle. I wonder if it can summon demony things? But seriously, I love it!
  • Let-Dawg recommended this bomb ass poor boy recipe for canned corned beef, cut up cabbage & slivered onions over fresh rice & it was a huge hit up in heeeeyare.
  • Even though I didn't make the NaNo grade, Lucifer's Scar is now officially done, done, DONE! & I will be putting it up on Lulu sometime soon for those of you (if any!) are interested in giving it a twirl.
  • Jess fookin Watsky managed to find me thee most EPIC of all fucking shirks; can you say KRAMPUS little children?
  • I have 45 dollars in cash in my purse that don't need to be directly forwarded to any utility billz, which is a fucking RARITY.
  • Sex's new erotica tale is going to be out Jan. 1st, which I'm totally fucking jazzed about cause I been waiting to see what makes that ass tick for almost 2 years now.
  • & the She-Spawn & I got our hairz did on Wednesday & my eyebrows waxed. My fluffy caterpillars now look like eccentric centipedes. Also, I look like a 'Desperate Housewife', minus the sexy element.