Dirty or clean, I'm a famous machine!

(image source via helenofdesTroy)

Oh boo! This is going to be somewhat of a sick rant. But it is what I am. Pretty sure I have an ear infection. It all started on Thursday when I was working with my sister in law. We were on our way to our last house for the day & it was going on about 90 degrees with no air conditioning & I just felt my stomach wretch horribly. I almost thought I was going to shit my pants right there in the bosses' vehicle. It passed & I was fine, then another tumultous wretch. This one sent chills down me & I could just envision splattering my innerds all over some rich person's perfect carpet. So yeah, Kristi stopped, I ran into McDonald's... but NOTHING! I really had to scratch my noggin at that one. I was fine again, just a bit weak & wary of my situation. Kristi took the liberty of grabbing me an ice water & after that I took it slow for the day but I was fine. We chocked it up to maybe dehydration because it was so ridiculously hot.

I get home & my body is full of aches & weakness so I lay down until it is time to eat dinner. Still felt weak when I exerted myself physically, so I just took it really easy for the rest of the night. The next day my throat was itchy, scratchy & hurting. Mostly when I swallowed & mostly on the left side of my throat, like it was connected to my ear. By Saturday I was a mess. I woke up, not getting out of bed for like 4 hours, thinking I was okay because I was spending lotsa quality time with Snookms just chatting & giggling & watching tv & eventually sexxing each other up. As soon as I stood though, I thought I would fall over. So dizzy! Chills, aches, weakness, ear hurting & making fluttery noises to remind me of my plight all day. So I spent it mostly hibernating in my room in my Hello Kitty robe, alternating moaning with reading cause I had just picked up Sylvia Plath's "The Bell Jar" on Friday when I went to snag my mom some birthday loot @ SuperTarget. I started reading the book sometime around 4 that afternoon, stopped long enough to watch this B horror movie called The Shadow Within, eat, sleep, & pee, & I was done reading it by 3 in the morning. That book will probably get you the best experience for you money if you read it while you are physically ill! I am telling you! I sincerely felt everything Plath intended. Of course it doesn't help that I've been down her road (minus the electro-shock therapy, fuck! I can't even imagine!) but still, being ill like that made me feel really in touch with her emotions to the point that I'd cried several times in the middle of reading. It was such a beautifully tragic story & just totally was able to express so many of my sentiments exactly. The line that struck at the recesses of my heart most?

~"Everything she said was like a secret voice speaking straight out of my own bones."

By the time I finished the book I was ready for a bowl of Cocoa Krispies. I was running a temp too but it was kinda cool because I always feel kind of out of touch with everything when I am feverish. I was pretty delirious by then & the kiddoes were still awake so they totally humoured me.

Today I am nowhere near normal, my ear still aches like a motherfucker everytime I swallow & my judgement feels all cloudy right now, but I am on antibiotics so I should be back to my regularly scheduled programming in no time. Snookms has been extra super helpful & maybe it's just me but he has been looking extremely attractive while I hast been sick. I mean, I see nothing but pure beauty when I stare his way, but there is something about that 5 o'clock shadow of his that just magnetizes my appetite to his flesh when I am sick. I want to eat him. Gimme a "C'mere Spear" someboday!

There is a lot of other poignant moments I am totally forgetting to mention here, but I don't mind about not remembering at this moment. I am too sick to care; the only thing I DO care about right now is this song on repeat in my head: OVER & OVER & OVER

My best friends are Smith & Wesson

(via fuckyeahkillbill)

Oh what's this? I have time? What is that even? Because I don't even know these days!

Okay, so somehow I stumbled upon being able to have time to go to the Famous Monsters Convention with Mysty & her other bff Machell. I dragged along on Nothingness allllllll the day long, pushing through the day the way Superman surges forth on Kryptonite. I literally didn't think I was going to make it through my work day. 3 houses & I was down for the count. I srsly do not understand how my boss does it. She is made of sheer will, that woman!

So yeah, trekked through the day & got home with no time to lose; shit, shaved, & showered. Couldn't even chat! Met up @ the Metal Mansion of Mayhem & Mysty talked me into sporting fake eyelashes for the con. I never tried them before so wearing them all day felt like tunnel vision & ridiculousness but everytime I looked @ Mysty & Machell they looked adorable so I was thinking maybe I didn't look as bad as I was feeling & picturing myself to be?

We get to the hotel the con was being held at just fine, & right off there is a person struttin aboot in a Predator suit. Things got residually better from there & before you knew it I had forgotten all about wanting to die that day. There was even a Frazetta booth. I gathered up some doll hairs for an Evil Dead shirk for me, a Freddy Krueger one for Fezziwig, an Alien vs. Marvin the Martian one for shespawn & also snagged her & I an Evil Dead necklace & I gots me some Batman Returns version Catwoman earrings. They is darlin. I didn't nab any goods for Snookms because he is like a recovering meth addict when it comes to horror movies... he just tries to stay the heck away from it all since he was overexposed to it all as a kiddo I guess? Meybbee I could've grabbed some Nosferatu merch & tricked him into thinking it was Joel Osteen? Whatever though. It was great fun. Also, Mysty entered her Lily, The Wife of Halloween tattoo into the black & white tat contest & won first place too. VICTORY! She deserves it. It is such a beaut.

I came home around 9 thirty ish & took the spawn out for a White Castle dinner. Had fun eating for the first time that day & almost od'ed on the unhealthy ingestion of it all. I scarfed those little puppies down quickstyle. I came 'this close' to buying The Exorcist' @ Walmart & bringing it home to let the spawnage watch for fun spooks but thought it through a little more carefully. Oh well. Maybe next week?

Saturday I elected to take shespawn & her cousin to see the latest Twilight. What is it, Eclipse right? Yeah. I had my open minded helmet on for this latest set & you know what though? I liked it. I really really liked it. I keep hearing all this stuff about how Bella's whooped & how Bella can't make a decision for herself & that she needs a dude in her life to go on, but I did not get that impression. The whole movie I was looking really far into it all, waiting for her passiveness to anger or outrage me, but it did not. Maybe everyone is just sippin on the hatorade because she has two gorgeous young boys fighting for her & they both give her the room to be snuffleupagus with the boths of em. & this was freaking my shit out BIG TIME but Jacob is SHARKBOY. Shespawn told me about halfway through the movie, & perhaps it is olde news to everyone else but I was like, "OMFG NO FUCKING WAYYYYY!!!" I felt so ashamed for drooling all the fuck over him throughout the movie, considering I could've been changing his diapers 12 years ago. FAKKKK. But see here, I am typically Team Edward (if I was to choose a team, which I do, I even have the shirt to prove it & shespawn haz team Jacob so I can tell her to piss off) but watching Eclipse made me wanna request a very shallow Team Transfer. Cause Edward was sporting the Fugly big time. I don't know what it was either, because again, I am usually thinking he is the cuter/better personality typed one of the crew. But WHATEVER. Fine. I drooled over the epic wolf muffin boy. But GOD did he deserve it. Even though he was an aggressive ass the whole time. I giggled embarrassingly loud in the theater when Jacob told Edward, "Besides, we all know I'm hotter than you"...

ENUFF OF THAT. I am broken hearted because Green Leaf, our local bubble tea haunt, is now closed on Sundays. I guess the hot Vietmanese chick has to go to church on Sunday. Wahhhhh.

Other stuff. What else! I can't ever remember anymore. Oh, 4th of July. Or rather, 3rd.... was fun. My mom & dad took it upon themselves to celebrate early so as not to cut into other pressing in law engagements on Snookms' end o' the schtick. The Renegade Wizard made some champion ass shishkabobs, chicken, & ribs on the barbeque. Just thinking about them right now is getting mah shit all aroused. Had a lot of good chuckles on account of my brothers. They even noticed that my hair was straightened! How's that for good ol' family lovin? Erin, aka Malakai, kept complimenting me on my hair & my octo/lego necklace & Mysty's pants, & then gave me ironic props when he saw me wearing Let-Dawg's Hollister shirk with Mysty's gothic pants of destruction the day before. HE's so good to meh.

Most of the conversation of my family revolves heavily around the latest movies we've seen or tv shows we've watched & then when Erin & I get in close quarters with one another it is then expanded even further to gaming, books & spirituality. I told him about how I found Ico @ Disc Replay for 30 bucks & he said it was probably one of the most well spent 2 hours of his life he'd ever had with a game. I started playing it last week but only made it to the first couch/save point after you get the princess out of the cage & haven't been able to pick it back up since. But so far I am seeing what everyone has said about it. A very mystical ambient quality to it that is rare to capture in gaming these days. Sort of gives me that warm familiar sensation that Legacy of the Wizard or even Dragon Warrior once had the ability to invoke within me? I am looking forward to gettng back into it this week while I have a few days off. Wish me luck!

My brother & I also talk a lot about writing & dreams when we get even deeper into our convo, but these days there ain't hardly time for all that. He likes to have dreams about getting possessed while I dream about spiders floating around my face that have special revelations encrypted into their movements about the end of the world. So between the two of us there is always a lot of fun stuff to chat up about.

Oh! & Snookms got a new job! It don't pay nearly as much as what he's got now, but it's far more stable than where he's at & we'll have insurance. Woo hooo! Wut the heck is that? So yeah, he's supposed to start in 2 weeks, so glad they are a respectable enough company to understand the importance of putting that in, y'know? He'll be working for the city, doing who knows what in the water department. He seems pretty happy & hopeful about it, a lot more hopeful than I've seen him in some time and that my friends, sounds good to me.

My bro Eric came over & spent the night 2 nights in a row with his daughter sometime last week too. I came home from work one afternoon to find that he had cleaned my whole kitchen for me, & then he was sitting @ the dining room table all damn night working on new floor plans for our whole house! Because that's how he rolls. He is pretty much better than David Bromstad. Had me all excited & optimistic for our minimal way of living right now. He's such a wizard when it comes to interior design. I am encouraging him full force to get into a school that will help nurture his knack for beautiful living; I just hope that it takes. He could make me a rich bitch one day, y'know?

Well I'm all thunk out about what to say, plus I'm starting to get Tumblr withdrawals, so away I will go to see if anyone has reblogged funny stuff about how ridiculously beautiful SHARKBOY is in the new Twilight.