<h1>Dirty or clean, I'm a famous machine!</h1>

(image source via helenofdesTroy)

Oh boo! This is going to be somewhat of a sick rant. But it is what I am. Pretty sure I have an ear infection. It all started on Thursday when I was working with my sister in law. We were on our way to our last house for the day & it was going on about 90 degrees with no air conditioning & I just felt my stomach wretch horribly. I almost thought I was going to shit my pants right there in the bosses' vehicle. It passed & I was fine, then another tumultous wretch. This one sent chills down me & I could just envision splattering my innerds all over some rich person's perfect carpet. So yeah, Kristi stopped, I ran into McDonald's... but NOTHING! I really had to scratch my noggin at that one. I was fine again, just a bit weak & wary of my situation. Kristi took the liberty of grabbing me an ice water & after that I took it slow for the day but I was fine. We chocked it up to maybe dehydration because it was so ridiculously hot.

I get home & my body is full of aches & weakness so I lay down until it is time to eat dinner. Still felt weak when I exerted myself physically, so I just took it really easy for the rest of the night. The next day my throat was itchy, scratchy & hurting. Mostly when I swallowed & mostly on the left side of my throat, like it was connected to my ear. By Saturday I was a mess. I woke up, not getting out of bed for like 4 hours, thinking I was okay because I was spending lotsa quality time with Snookms just chatting & giggling & watching tv & eventually sexxing each other up. As soon as I stood though, I thought I would fall over. So dizzy! Chills, aches, weakness, ear hurting & making fluttery noises to remind me of my plight all day. So I spent it mostly hibernating in my room in my Hello Kitty robe, alternating moaning with reading cause I had just picked up Sylvia Plath's "The Bell Jar" on Friday when I went to snag my mom some birthday loot @ SuperTarget. I started reading the book sometime around 4 that afternoon, stopped long enough to watch this B horror movie called The Shadow Within, eat, sleep, & pee, & I was done reading it by 3 in the morning. That book will probably get you the best experience for you money if you read it while you are physically ill! I am telling you! I sincerely felt everything Plath intended. Of course it doesn't help that I've been down her road (minus the electro-shock therapy, fuck! I can't even imagine!) but still, being ill like that made me feel really in touch with her emotions to the point that I'd cried several times in the middle of reading. It was such a beautifully tragic story & just totally was able to express so many of my sentiments exactly. The line that struck at the recesses of my heart most?

~"Everything she said was like a secret voice speaking straight out of my own bones."

By the time I finished the book I was ready for a bowl of Cocoa Krispies. I was running a temp too but it was kinda cool because I always feel kind of out of touch with everything when I am feverish. I was pretty delirious by then & the kiddoes were still awake so they totally humoured me.

Today I am nowhere near normal, my ear still aches like a motherfucker everytime I swallow & my judgement feels all cloudy right now, but I am on antibiotics so I should be back to my regularly scheduled programming in no time. Snookms has been extra super helpful & maybe it's just me but he has been looking extremely attractive while I hast been sick. I mean, I see nothing but pure beauty when I stare his way, but there is something about that 5 o'clock shadow of his that just magnetizes my appetite to his flesh when I am sick. I want to eat him. Gimme a "C'mere Spear" someboday!

There is a lot of other poignant moments I am totally forgetting to mention here, but I don't mind about not remembering at this moment. I am too sick to care; the only thing I DO care about right now is this song on repeat in my head: OVER & OVER & OVER