gauging the backlash

current mood:

currently listening to: arboretum -unwound

currently watching:

i am burning to the ground

i cannot see

anything around me

because the core is blind

& she is the only one left

bff's for life

current mood: serve the servants

currently listening to: pennyroyal tea -nirvana

currently watching: howl's moving castle

(me, ~eriN)

backsliding

current mood: because fuck you, that's why

currently listening to: black houses -portal

currently watching: elfin lied

(gpoy)

dancing with myself

current mood: when that 3:33 beat drops i almost die of heartache every time

currently listening to: kiss distinctly american -q & not u

currently watching: poltergeist 2

i've been fantasizing about sleep all day long but i don't want to go to sleep now that i actually can. going off of 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night has taken it's toll on me this week. i can't wait to climb back under our nightmare before christmas comforter with snookms tomorrow morning once i drop the kids off at school. often times just envisioning that as a standalone feature is better than porn. snuggling with sleepy snookms is my favourite.

i took my first computer test tonight. i got an 88 on the written portion, but i probably won't know until next week what i got on my hands on test. i know i messed up at least once, because i can't figure out how to not break up a line of text that wants to break to a new line. is it something to do with ctrl, shift, & space, or what? it was driving me nuts not being able to figure it out.

i'm still waiting on the results for my 1st psychology test, & i'll be taking my first test for sociology next monday. i'm kinda looking forward to exercising my testing ability in that class. i feel like i have learned so much useful information in such a short time just because of the reading. when class is over i wish it wasn't because i want to learn more & hear more. the professor for that class was a defense attorney for kids who were getting pinned with the death penalty. she has so many stories that i am fully immersed in hearing.

oh yeah. i guess i can talk about my new diet. i went to a long overdue physical last week & was told i had hypoglycemia. i had sort of figured that since my brother got diagnosed with it when he was locked up in prison the year before... we had shared the same symptoms. but hearing it out loud from the doctor was the kick in the pants i needed to shift my dieting gears. first i started out just completely staying away from anything sugary in the morning, which worked fine, & then when i came back for a recheck, the doctor said i had lost some weight so the diet must be doing me some good is what she said. it motivated me to want to continue improving so i got online & found all kinds of substitutes for meat & dairy & sugar. don't get me wrong, i am by no means a vegan, nor a vegetarian. but i am tryna go whole foods so i can get all this ridiculous fat build up out of my body. i still eat meat, but i try to do it sparingly. dairy has been pretty easy to resist because fuckyeahALMONDMILK. & i found a non-dairy ice cream today that is pretty rad too. i've been stocking up on beans, cooking them for a day & then freezing single portions to warm up in the microwave for the sake of convenience. it's been working out pretty well so far.

at first i started hating eating, because i was training my brain to eat for sustenance instead of enjoyment. everything tasted so gross compared to what i was used to eating. but now that i've gotten more used to it i have come to enjoy it.

i guess i am going to start reading some more before i fall asleep sitting up. it feels so good to not have any pressing obligations right now. & all at 12:24 a.m.

a chink in the armor

current mood: social distortion

currently listening to: mouthful of poison -kittie

currently reading: mockingjay -susan collins

i am finally feeling social enough to want to talk about current events my life, how about that!

i don't know what's been up with that lately but i just haven't wanted to socialize much these past few weeks. not even been tumblr'n the usual amount. mostly i've been immersing myself in reading, it's been providing the kind of temporary escape i guess my mind, body, & soul has been craving. i just finished reading "catching fire" last night, & i've been thoroughly enjoying reading my sociology, interpersonal communication, & psychology textbooks from class. i think so far i enjoy sociology the most as far as the reading & class instruction goes, but my interpersonal communication teacher is still my favourite teacher. she seems to have less of an "aggressive" teaching approach this semester when compared to last semester when she was teaching public speaking. i kind of miss that about her, but i am also enjoying this aspect of her as well. ironically, psychology is my least favourite class, but that's not to say that i don't enjoy it. the teacher is kind of freaking me out a little though. she seems to get upset at us when the class doesn't get the hang of a new routine right away, but at the same time she appears to be really forgiving to herself when she "fucks up". i'm not hateful or anything really, just at a point of closely observing & trying to analyze. i also really enjoy my microcomputer class too, i just hate that it's at night & that i have to be away from the kids. it tends to add a layer of unintentional stress that i carry around for the night so that when i think of that class i automatically associate it with being a little overwhelmed. the teacher is really cute though! & super organized & professional. i think i might actually be older than him, but not by too many years.

snookms & i got our tax check so i've been enjoying some shopping. was able to buy a really cute skeleton print dress at hot topic, along with a "clueless" tshirt, a my little pony one, & a v-neck black tee with guns all over it. was also able to get a new jacket (a checkered peacoat) for 20 bucks & also this oversized bloody samurai girl tshirt that my brother really liked. i think i might grab one for him if i get a chance to go back to metropolis soon, it was on clearance for $4.99 .

we also went to see that "extremely loud & incredibly close" movie that tom hanks is in over the weekend. it was a really great movie & i'm really surprised i didn't cry harder than i did. i could hear all kinds of sniffles in the theater. snookms' dad is in the hospital right now so it hit him emotionally, which i felt kind of bad about. he wasn't crying or anything, but he admitted to me later that night that he was having trouble keeping his emotions in check during some of the more dramatic scenes. i would have been a hot fucking mess had i been in snookms' current position & was watching that movie, that much is for sure.

i've been tuning in on sundays while i study, to sonicritualradio.com, it's a new radio station that mysty's friend dustin & his buddy threw together at the last minute as a result of another radio station dj opportunity that had fallen out. i met dustin through mysty, & at one point dustin was the vocalist for mysty's husband's old band 'tunguska'. dustin basically reminds me of ryan gosling if he was into burning witch, electric wizard, & sunn o))). he's pretty dang charming if i don't say so mahself. but yeah, he is one of the few people that endures/indulges in my nonstop prattle in regard to nes games. he has been making a lot of references when he does his 'secular sunday' bit that i tune into on sunday, & i get a big kick out of it. i also love the fact that he cranks out metroid & megaman jams one minute & portal the next. it is basically the radio station of my wet dreams. he & his buddy aaron crank out all kinds of amazingly heavy stuff 24-7, & then on sundays from 12-3 they do a little talk show of sorts which i find highly entertaining to listen to.

oh! & speaking of dreams; i took a nap earlier this afternoon after i picked up my spawn from school & mordicai was in it. must be that time of year again i guess? i have a dream about him once a year, why should this one be any different? so okay, earlier today, (irl) i got a message from dustin on facebook asking if i had any cool stories to share regarding nes peripherals/controllers (like the powerglove & the track & field mat) that he could talk about on his next radio session. well i guess i was thinking about that when i fell asleep cuz i dreamt that mordicai was just chillin on my brown velvet couch sitting right across from me & i was telling him about the message dustin sent me & i was all, "by the way, what exactly is a 'peripheral'?" & he got all "imma drop some knowledge on your ass" typed scholarly & said, "look up maurandusky.com. it will change your life." so i got on my laptop & typed it into my search engine & this 80's looking website comes up with a weird sunrise in the backround & it is this homage page to the powerglove. i started cracking up & mordicai got mad at me. & then bam, i woke up. just like that.