Saturday, October 13, 2012

if i look back, i am lost

current mood:
currently listening to: kill -iamamiwhoami
currently reading: rookie yearbook one



everything has been covered in this sort of "light at the end of the tunnel" typed glow, which is really lovely considering how rough things have been. i think it's mostly me just letting go of old shit so i can move on to new shit.

good news to report ... financing has been provided by Ivy Tech for the conference i'm presenting at in two weeks. also, have been accepted to iupui, so graduate school here i come. i took the placement testing and have orientation coming sometime within the next few weeks. and the icing on top of the cake (academically wise) is that on friday when i went to my lifespan development class i found out that me & one other student had the top scores on the exam we took last week, and according to my professor, the highest score-ers in her entire course, including the other colleges she is teaching at. this was really flattering because most of the students complain about how difficult the course is (which it is!) and the professor also mentioned that the exam i did so well on was the toughest of the 5 exams in the course.

it's nice to see desirable results being yielded; i feel as though i've been flat-lining path-wise for sometime now. was gettin real fuckin tired of lembas bread for awhile there.

the 3rd annual ghoul's nite out was a real success this year, even though there were far less in attendance than last year's get together. we started out at bw3's in greenwood, then headed to the asylum house, which moved from where it was these past few years, and then ended up at the keystone art cinema to watch v.h.s.

bw3's was okay i guess, i just ordered way too much food that i didn't like as much as i thought i would. i have a pathological aversion to onions, and when i ordered the sampler platter, i thought for sure the onion rings wouldn't be excessive, but they seemed to be the main attraction of the dish. i felt bad about wasting so much food! mysty managed to brighten up the evening by having us do a little speed mixer thingy to break the ice between fellow mysty worshipers before heading out to the haunted house.

since the asylum house had moved it's location, the set-up of the haunted house that we had become so accustomed to was changed of course. it was quite a treat however, as there were so much more outdoors encounters than last time. the majority of the adventure took place on haunted trails outside, and mysty enjoyed torturing me by volunteering for me to be the butt of just about every scene's attraction. i'd say the highlight of the evening had to be the mad hatter and his tea party that sprawled out before us once we were finished lurking the outdoor trails. there was a guillotine, the queen and us running for our lives after being threatened by her if we  didn't leave after the count of three. at this point we were all laughing and holding onto each other for dear life, and two chainsaw wielding actors were chasing us into a hopeless and endless corn maze. about halfway through the corn maze we were all ready to go see the movie for the night, so when we finally did make our way out, it was a huge relief. all in all i give the new haunt a 9 out of 10, only because it was a little too long and not enough actresses/actors jumping out at every turn during the corn maze portion.

we piled up in mysty's new car 'zeus' and stopped at walmart long enough for me to grab some pajama pants to slip in to since i had to go & period in my pants while the chainsaw dudes were chasing me. they literally scared the menstruation out of me.

it was a nice relaxing drive out to castleton, where the keystone art cinema is. i've only been to that particular theatre once before, which was with mysty as well, to see 'the runaways'. it is a superfancy theatre to me, it typically only plays independent films, and has a bar built in which recipients are allowed to bring alcohol in and consume while they watch the movie. again, we were going to see v.h.s., which i hadn't heard JACKSHIT about previously. turned out to be a super creepy/crappy first person perspective typed film, in which was an anthology of creative storytelling. none of the stories were woven together in such a way that made any sense in correlation to one another, kind of like creepshow, but at the same time, they just flowed together in such a way that made it okay enough to suspend disbelief. i think of all the stories, the first one with the amazingly adorable creature "i like you" girl took the cake, along with the paranormal doctor one. i mean, they were all equally engaging, but to me, those had the biggest creep factor of them all. i would definitely recommend anyone seeing this movie for a good halloween flick.

once the movie was over mysty & all the other ladies & i stood outside the parking lot, remembering the highlights of the night and having a bunch of good laughs. it's always interesting to see who the new flavour of the month is with mysty, and though there is a pang of jealousy that tries to invade my internals, i find the experience of learning about her through these individuals an enlightening experience. i am able to see a lot more standing outside of the relationship looking in, and am able to even learn a lot about myself as well, being this type of an observer. something like warmness has a tendency to take over when i see sincerity in a girl's intentions for mysty, which helps in the jealousy process to be able to let go and know that these other potentials can make her happy in such a way that maybe i could never offer her. they are all little flowers in her garden, each special & unique in their own way, which so many of us appreciate about mysty.

the rest of this week has been a roller coaster ride of teenage craziness with my own horde, but alas, fall break has come upon us to take away the dreary & weary. i am looking forward to tv night at my mom & dad's tomorrow, and it's been extra fun since my brother has been a participant these past few months as well. i've always felt a ridiculous amount of deep and heartfelt connection to all three of my brothers, so whenever i'm blessed with an opportunity to converse with them, more often than not i feel as though a weight of a thousand years has been lifted from my shoulders and thrown into an abyss.

i feel really lucky to have the family & friends that i do.

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