Monday, January 5, 2009

A New Lease on Life?

My legs ache. My forearms keep pulsating relentlessly. Every time I bend over I yelp like a puppy that's getting a tapeworm pulled from it's ass with a pair of channel locks.

I've been cleaning for the past few days, quite mercilessly.

Snookms started the bullshit vortex that was I, the cleaning tornado, what with him re-organizing our closet space last week. I was so touched by his organizational ways that I too, had to organize something as well, just so I could feel like a team player. You should see our closet though. It's the stuff Gods are made of. I should have wanted to take a picture or something. Of my fucking closet. Yeah.

I started off in our room, (the room Snookms and I share, that is) dusting off all our old Spidey Action figures. Most of em are still in their original packaging, thumbtacked to the wall, but clear plastic looks pretty shanky when it ain't been dusted in centuries. Then I dusted our dvd shelves, and got my Sandman series out to showcase, (what I have of it at least) and reorganized some of the books and journals that I am using most frequently to be conveniently available at my bedside leisure whenever the need/fancy strikes. Also got our Mr. Potato Head collection all spiffied out too, and it gives me a joy so few could understand to see a potatoe in Cosplay when I awake in the morn' and roll over to see these puppies greet me. So far we have the Spidey/Venom set, Darth Tator, Optimus Prime, Spud Trooper (Storm Trooper) and Artoo-Potatoo. Artoo is particularly adorable because he's tiny, unlike all the other "girthy" spuds.

I also re-organized my faery bedside table, which I'll have to post of picture of sometime, because I gotta show off my purdy faery that my brother Eric and his fiance bought me for Christmas. It's really beautiful, she's a blue fairy and a dragon lover, perched on some mushrooms, snuggling with a baby dragon, and she smells of patchouli, just like them dope-smokin head shops always smell. I luff her. I named her Mysty. :) Did some groupings with my LOTR action figures too, so now my Gollum/Smeagol statue can wave hello to Gandalf and Legolas whilst they deal Final Judgements to the Almighty Cave Troll. Merry and Pippin aren't too happy though, cause they're perched on the Troll's shoulders, trying to give it Hobbit Head. S'pretty cute, if ya ask me.

I then moved on to the kiddos room, and that is hell in a fucking handbasket if you ask me, because these 3 fuckers have to share a room together, and having to shell out who's toys belong to who is fucking beyond me. But I did it. There is now room for each of them to be an individual, and all in one room, and I have the manic episodes of my bi-polar disorder to thank for this, for if it wasn't for it's steadfast, coke-like fevered drive, none of this would have been possible. I didn't get to bed til 9:30 in the fucking morning fer ChristSAKE.

The next day was spent re-enforcing organizational law all throughout the land. Petitions were made, hopes were dashed, and alas I came out the victor. I would put Adrian Monk to shame. And that's not a compliment.

I rested up by playing Wii, making new Mii's, which is almost funner than actually playing, cause you can make Napoleon Dynamite, or Jack Black, or Kyle Gass for that matter, (from Tenacious D!) I also made Jason Vorhees from Friday the 13th and one of the kiddos made Michael Meyer from the Halloween Flicks. We're gonna watch the Youtube vid to show us how to make Jackie Chan sometime today, and I'm thinking of breaking down and making a Spidey Mii, even though the finished product looks pretty fucking generic. So does Jack Skellington's, which really pisses me off, cause those woulda been first on my list to make if they didn't look so utterly lame.

Been on a Donnie Darko kick as of late. Cable got shut off recently, and so will our net soon probably, so I better make the best o' my blogger time. But yep, since our cable's been shut off, we just watch movies now when we get down time, so I've been popping in the Director's Cut of Donnie Darko, which in my opinion, is way better than the other version they released in the theatres. I like how it shows the chapter prefaces, just the way an actual book would play out, explaining what the "Living Receiver" is and does, and the "Manipulated Living's" role in time and space and what not. Such a beautiful movie.

So like, I told Merry Monteleone that I'd play her Honest Scrap game, she invited any of her blog readers to play who would like to, so here goes:

10 Things About Me That You Might Otherwise Not Know

(as if anyone gives a fleeting fuck)

1.) I used to have a crush on Prince. Yeah. That Prince. Purple Rain is what pushed me over the edge. I remember hearing Raspberry Beret for the first time and was intrigued by this motherfucker, pretending not to like someone so cliche (kids are weird when it comes to shit like that, y'know?) but I could no longer resist his seductive like nature after watching Purple Rain. I wanted to be bitch-slapped like Applelonia. When I saw Prince getting ready to eat the bitch out, I pretended to be the utterly shocked and disgusted spectator I was supposed to be, but later pretended that my life-size stuffed teddy bear Footprint was Prince in the heat of that humid midnight summer's eve.

2.) The year Family Ties came out was a rough year for Footprint as well. I had it BAAAAAAAAAAAD for Michael J. Fox.



Very flat bear.

(Footprint is still sammiched in between Snookms and I, to this day.)

3.) I used to be a hardcore gangsta bitch. I sagged, I wore a Sox beanie, I had dukey braids and could roll my neck out of a wet paper towel. (Not really, but it just puts emphasis where emphasis needs be at the moment.) People were actually afraid of me sometimes, because I put on such an heir of "Don't Fuck With Me or I'll Bust a Cap in Your Ass". Ice Cube was my hero.

4.) I was in a band for like 2 days, with an old friend and my brother. She claims we were called the ChowderHeads. I remember pulling for the "FuckHeads" though. It consisted of us playing really badly, and claiming that we were punk. Meh.

5.) I was born in Texas. Abilene, Texas. My dad was in the Air Force, so we had to move around alot. After I was born, we moved to Savannah, Georgia, where my 1st brother was born, then to Fresno, California where my second brother was born, then to Seattle, Washington where my 3rd brother was born. After that, my parents went off the deep end and we ended back up in California, but in a different part. Fairfield. Then we moved to South San Francisco, The Industrial City (my ASS) and then here, to Indy, where all my hopes and dreams have come true. Werd to yer granny in Cincinnati.

6.) So far I've wrote 3 books but never had the balls to call them books because they suck. But I've been writing for a very long time. Ever since I could hold a pencil in muh hand, y'know? Words are my very best friend.

7.) I have been living each day as if it were my last for the past year. I don't know what truly led me to this perspective of living, but I've enjoyed it ever since. So in honor of Joyce Meyer's latest ranting and ravings: Eat the Cookie Bitch. Buy the Motherfucking Shoes!! (Bitch and Motherfucking added by Rachel J. Turner)


I want to cram Sex's head knee deep into my crotch. There. I said it.

9.) Two Saturdays ago I had to agree to sign a "No Harm" Contract with my therapist. An accident ensued. A mistake was made. I am no longer un-afraid of sharp objects. I have to wear a rubber band around my wrist at all times and snap it back everytime I wanna hurt myself. Or draw/doodle cuts on myself instead of really making them. Can't I just draw one around my neck??

I suck.

10.) I aim to make everyone's life around me more colourful. If I haven't made someone want to reach for the stars, well then, I ain't served my purpose. I love life and all the living, breathing things surrounding me in it. (And the non-breathing stuff too, I s'pose.) I wish for everyone to feel this way, but I won't push it on you, like some drug pimp, so don't worry if you don't like life right now. It's okay to hate it. :)


Merry Monteleone said...

My kingdom for a clean closet!!! Good job!

Little tip on the cable, if you know how to switch your tv antenna (it's either A or B) you can still watch cable, just from the tv instead of the box. They don't shut it off at the actual pole until you're more than thirty days late... sometimes two months.

You can guess how I know that.

Happy New Year!

kathulhu said...

No internet really sucks :( I know how that goes.

I left you an award at my blog!

Realmcovet said...

Merry: Haha, yeah, I've done that actually here in the front room. On Demand boxes spoil a motherfucker though. It drives me to DRINK just because I don't have a sub-menu telling what's on at a moment's whim. We SO need to do away with t.v.!! Happy New Year to you too, little miss Merry!!

Katie: Yes, no internet sucks. But it also equals clean laundry for the next 7 weeks. Urrrrggggh.

And an award for ME?? Yer so sweet. I had been stalking your page earlier and saw that you had received one from that lazy mom blog, (which is really cute, btw!) and was all happy but jealous for you and your award. And then you turn around and give ME one?? I LOVE IT! Thanks so much Katie. And I really love what it stands for. I shall sport my award with pride. And I checked out that Cyblog and She Translates blog as well. I really like their "schtuff" too. Yer way awesome Kat. I love you. :)