Thursday, February 19, 2009

Doesn't get any better than this!

I'm watching reruns of Burn Notice, and reading the "Rock My World" novel that Erica sent me. I hadn't realized it til just today, but when I opened the book to the first page, Erica had wrote "To my friend Rachel" and signed as her pen name, with x's and o's on it. I was so touched by this that it made me smile and want to hug the book, and Erica.

I had to take a break from Nicola's Ammonite novel today cause I just couldn't resist waiting another day to start reading "Rock My World". Initially I had thought I would be done reading Ammonite by now, but I'm only a little more than halfway through. Really such a lovely, LOVELY novel, but again, I couldn't resist NOT reading "Rock My World".

I was going to wait until I was done with Ammonite and then read Rock My World, but already I'm on page 22 and totally loooooooooove the book. I love all the pop culture references. And the young adult POV. Lots of unapologetic cursing and talking about sex too, which I heart. :)

I find myself drawn to these kinds of books, always have, even when I was too young to even be reading them, but, alas, there I would be, hiding under my bed covers, laying on my belly, novel in one hand, flashlight in the other, reading about Deenie's next masturbatory experience in the illuminated dark of my Fairfield, CA hailing bedroom.

I guess there is this part of me, the little girl I pushed away for so long, perhaps, that needs to know if it all adds up in the end. If everything went according to plan, like I always thought and hoped for. More often than not, it never was the case, and getting the "less than ideal" perspective that these books provided proved a sort of "refuge" for the feelings of loss that I couldn't quite understand at such a young age. I had felt so alone and like such an outcast for so long and these books somehow spoke a language to me so few others had the ability to speak.

I live for books like this. Thanks so much again Erica, and I promise to give it a proper review once I'm done reading it, if one can dare to call what I might possibly deem "proper" so!

New Burn Notice episode tonight!! Mustn't forget! It's me and Snookms newest shared passion in life, aside from blowing holes in our siding via potato cannons and sharing heated conversation over a Grande half-caff, with a splash o' whole milk.

8 comments:

Zoe Winters said...

Hey, Thanks for visiting my blog. (I get alerts from google when my name pops up places. Yeah, I know, how lame am I?)

So anyway I like how completely honest and kickass your blog is. I'm going through one of these weepy/mopey phases of trying to figure out who I am and what I want and blah blah blah. And wondering how much I'm censoring myself for the sake of others on my blog.

I think probably the more I censor the more boring I become.

Thanks for reminding me that it's really okay to say the word "fuck" on my blog if I really feel like it, or just to rant.

Joe Barone said...

Realm, I too used books to get away. I'm sure they weren't the same books you read, but books are wonderful.

And in regard to your language (in Zoe's note). I wouldn't expect it any other way when I come here.

Erica Orloff said...

Hey Girlfriend:
I just totally love this. I mean love this to tears. Because I ALWAYS write about outsider girls. Even if they have a more glam life than I ever did, there's always this core broken piece, this hole in their heart . . . and that was MY adolescent experience . . . and I know from fan mail and email I get that I speak to teens who feel that way, and you just wrote it so eleoquently.

BTW, I was in the anthology, "Everything I Ever Need to Know about Being a Girl I Learned from Judy Blume." Twilight Zone moment--my essay was on DEENIE!!! But I wrote it from the perspective that she was SO ANGRY (the hair-cutting scene!) and I was raised in a house where the KIDS could not be angry. And it spoke to me on so many levels.

xoxoxox
E

kathulhu said...

I love Burn Notice.

Realmcovet said...

Zoe, hi there. I'm glad you trollied on over. And there's no way your lame, I've secretly (or what I THOUGHT was secret, anyway) stalked your blog for some time now, and am very flattered to hear you say my blog is "kick ass", cause I always thought you were pretty kick ass yourself. And as far as saying "fuck" goes? "Fuck away" friend. ;)

Joe!! So glad to hear from you. I love how you love me for me. I wish I read some of the books you read. I can see how profoundly they have struck you and you sir, are amazing.

Erica, again, we've got this weird "ESP" thing goin. My mom and I joke all the time and affectionately refer to it as "ESPN". *sighing in your magnificance*

Katie, Yes!! Burn Notice is the shit. I am totally crushing on Michael and Fiona. Trigger happy exes just so get me wet.

kathulhu said...

Don't forget about Sam Axe - coolest name ever.

Nope, I haven't received your email. What email addy did you send it to?

oh wait, got sent to the junk email. Must add you to the 'safe sender' list - although not too sure about that :)

Realmcovet said...

Yeah, me either Katie. You never can be too sure. :D

Zoe Winters said...

LMAO Realm, thanks! Well you were very covert for a long time if that counts for anything.