I'm tryna keep my head above the water, avoid drowning in this bullshit storm that is passing, but it's been real hard, y'know? When one thing happens, okay! Fine! I can deal, but when repeated things happen over and over and over, you sometimes just want to throw your weapon down & allow that volley of arrows to pierce your flesh & put you outta your goddamn misery already. Sheesh!
Well, soon Mysty is off to Vegas to get hitched. On freaking Hallow's Eve. She is going to all the explicit haunts down there too. I'm not jealous or anything, I'll just miss her. I think she will have a blast with Werewolf. & they deserve a blast if anyone does.
I was looking at Snookms all passed out on the couch late last night (I had insomnia!) & realizing how much a fell beast he truly is. He's like, a balrog in human form, from the darkest descent. I can't help but taking pride in knowing I had SOMETHING to do with his slaying, & that he is now a trophy on my couch to gaze upon whilst he slumber. I mean, there was so much darkness in this kiddo that he can now no longer bear to look darkness in the eye. He was full to the brim with it. His whole life was covered in shadow. I love that shadow, that darkness. He teases me & claims Mysty and I are 'goth', but I tell you, he is the 'gothest' of them all folks! Just because he hides underneath a Colts hat & a pair of comfy fitting jeans, that don't mean shit. There is darkness galore beneath all that Footlocker apparel. You can see it brooding in the midnight hour. And he is mine; for me! Mine all mine...
We've been arguing like mad lately though, like, like fucking brother & sister. It's been ridiculous. None of that detrimental bullshit though, where we question our sanity & such, it's just over stupid little shit, like, "Put your fucking socks away!" Or, "I already told David he could have a soda!" or, "There isn't enough money in the bank for that!" It's been amusing but annoying. I was telling him last night about NaNoWrimo & how I was considering entering; & he said the funniest things. Like, "You should just find a book that nobody has heard of & type that in." & then I was like, "Naw, cause if they announce you as a winner that shit is known all around the world man, someone is bound to find out!" & then he was like, "Yeah, but then you'd be INFAMOUS." & I was like, "Yes, but for all the WRONG reasons" & then he came back with, "But still though, you'd have everyone's attention. And THAT'S when you come back with writing a book titled, "NaNoWrimo; Why I Cheated & Who I Cheated From"! I couldn't help but giggle about that, because that is how things seem to pan out for the infamous. He's a funny little fell beast, he is.
Our weekend was okay; didn't get to do much of anything, our fucking check is locked up at 5/3rd! I mean, I couldn't even really do groceries? Much less anything else. I'm okay with not doing things, that just fine; but when I can't even get groceries just because the bank hasn't had a chance to update their system, knowing full well the money's in there, that just makes my britches do a dance o' anger. Like, weeping & gnashing of teeth kind of shit! It was pretty annoying.
Friday the 13th was on Spike Friday night, so Jr. & I stayed up late watching it. I have to admit that it was STILL spooky to watch, even after all these years. The bad part is that I kept dosing off though, & I was worried that there would be a part that might be too intense for Jr., & I didn't want to miss it on account of my lazy ass, so I kept bolting awake all freaked the heck out. But alas, it was edited.
Jr. had to get his immunizations updated on Friday as well, which I didn't realize even needed updating; I mean he's 13 now, so I thought most of that shit was over with? But the doctors wanted to stick him full of H1N1 vaccine, DTP (tetanus & booster), MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) & some chicken pox vaccine. I was like shit! That's WAY too much? So they only gave him the first 2, but I tell you, I was regretting that decision from here on out man. It took 3 grown adults to hold him down; & not only that but boy did he scream! I was not anticipating this outcome at all! He never freaked out before, it was strange to see Tha Jr. reacting this way. He's older now, y'know? But he totally fought us, tooth & nail, & screamed like a banshee. When the doctors left the room he even cried. Boy did I feel like shit. He later accused me of being one of 'them'; of the ones that held him down. He asked me, "Why'd you do that? I couldn't escape!" I tried explaining to him that it would've only hurt more, but he was not tryna hear that.
Ah well. You live & you learn I s'pose.
Amongst all this are some good things.
One good thing is that my brother is due to be released from prison. None of our family quite know yet where he is to go from there, which is driving me up the fucking wall because I just want to be able to embrace him fully; without time constraints or rules & regulations on just how long I get to hold my brother in my arms. I've been able to visit him lots, but it just isn't the same as having his presence minus the law breathing down your neck, y'know? I even had a dream that he showed up at my front doorstep with my mom, & he was all handsome & shiny in his new clothes & new haircut. We just sat on my frumpy couch and chatted the afternoon away. I awoke from the dream wanting to cry in realizing that it hadn't come true. Soon enough I s'pose.
Other good things to report are all the awesome things that were said about our spawn when we took them to their conferences last week. Fezziwig's was first & I was nervous initially, it is our 1st in dealings with a male teacher. But he just couldn't stop talking about how good of a kid David was, & that he was a very smart boy; all that kind of a thing. At one point the teacher even looked both Snookms & I in the eyes & said, "Good kids don't happen on accident. You guys are doing SOMETHING right." That made us feel great!
Next was She-Spawn's conference, & right away the teacher handed Carmen the "A" honor roll award & said that her & her best friend scored the highest in all of the 4th grade for their NWEA testing. So She-spawn was all a flutter & didn't know how to act about it. Teacher said she was a pleasure to have in class, & get this, she says, "And oh! We have a WRITER on our hands!" I was tickled through and through....
After that was Tha Jr's @ his Jr. High. I can't get over how all the students damn near look like adults. It freaks me the hell out because it only seems like just yesterday we were changing Jr's diaper & tucking him in bed all tight & cozy like a little burrito. & now here he is rolling with the big wigs. He IS a big wig! All his teachers said so too. It was so adorable to see Mike interact with his teachers & share inside jokes & talk about things I had no clue about. It tells me he is flourishing, & all independently. I was very proud. & that teacher! The one that kept giving me shit about looking like a student; she is Jr.'s language arts teacher! Can you believe it? So right away she spotted me & was like, "Hey, it's YOU!" We started cracking up, & I'm realizing I know her. I've seen her around. Then I'm like, "You used to take your kids to the free lunch at school during the summer didn't you?" & she's all, "That's where I know you from!" We started cracking up some more & I was like, "Yeah, you were the only other mom besides me that looked like she had just woke up at noon & dragged all her kids to get lunch before it was over". She totally got me & we had our laughs. She looked at Mike & was like, Did you tell him about me? About harrassing you in the halls? & we were like, "yep, yer the one!" She's pretty sexy too, she's got this surfer chick build, very masculine, but not at all afraid to display her femininity. She's got ink on her neck in some other language & she wears mini skirts without batting an eye. I love it. She was totally supportive of Jr. & saying how great of a kid he was, just like all the other teachers said.
So all in all it was a victorious night. In a way, conference night is like a 'paycheck' for me. It tells me all Snookms & my hard work has paid off. It means a lot.
Well, I've yammered on long enough here, it's just been a long while since I last journaled. With the kids on Fall break all last week, it's no wonder all I wanted to do was lay around & watch them play Twilight Princess. They have all the mirror shards now though, so it was worth it you see?