<h1>All Hail Krampus!</h1>

Ugh! I'm feeling pretty damn listless for a Friday night. Typically I am face deep in reading a great book, watching a great flick, or giving a great blow job. Right now all I feel is sleepy, cranky & BORED.

I guess it's just the wheels on the bus slowing the heck down after 2 weeks of nonstop GO-GO-GO.

Also, I was without the net for like, almost 5 days & shit. As per usual, our shit got disconnected like it does every month, but I paid the bill hella quick this time, I promise! Then there was issues with Comcast getting our signal back for the internet, everything else was back though, our phone, On Demand services & whatnot. But no fucking internet, & we had to wait til Thursday before a technician could come out. When he finally did get here it took him a matter of 5 minutes to get our shit going & was kind've halfway bitching about how the phone operators at Comcast TOTALLY could've taken care of the issue over the phone themselves. HMPH?

But whatever, I'm over it. Over & OUT.

Let's talk first about the thing on my mind MOST right now.

I'm pretty dissapointed with my NaNo novel at this moment. Maybe that can explain my blase mood right now... I dunno, I just... Well, I was feeling pretty great about it, right? Didn't even look back, just kept on going. Well, today, I finally get the chance to go back & start reading it from the beginning & I'm starting feel like, "Ew, maybe this isn't as great as I anticipated it to be?" So now I'm all bummed. I mean, I'm only as far as chapter 4, but I keep dosing off while reading it & feel the need to edit every other fucking word. Which is typically fine on any other jolly ol' day, but I guess I just wasn't in the mood? Maybe my perspective just needs to be refreshed after a couple of good night's sleep. I think I've only got like a total of 20 hours in the last week? ACK.

Speaking of last week! Ooh man. What adventures, I tell you! Thanksgiving proves to be the most eventful of holidays since these past few years. I'll start with Wednesday evening, which was great fun because Snookms & I kept pretending it was Friday all night & got excited cause it was almost as though there were still 3 Fridays in a row to celebrate after that (he didn't have to work; HOLLA!) so we were being pretty silly with each other. We took the spawn out late at night & went on a Target shopping spree for turkey & all the trimmings, plus I got the remaining ingredients to make Lumpia, the filipino version of an eggroll (but way better in my opinion) & we stopped at Wendy's so I could try Let-Dawg's Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe recommendation. I was not in the least bit dissapointed.

When we got home I can't even remember what we did but I do know that Snookms & I had lots of teenager-like-sex all weekend. We've been having tons o' that lately; it's been pretty 'fun' as he likes to refer to it.

Thursday was all about preparing for my mom & dad's turkey celebrations, as my youngest brother was able to get out on a pass from work release for 10 whole hours. It was the first time in 3 years since the six of us (me, my mom, dad & 3 brothers) had been together in the same room. We did this really cheesy Team Voltron kind of hug thing & all started getting ready to cry like giant mammoth babies but I broke it up before the waterwerks could be brought down upon us. I'm like, the thankless superhero n shit.

Snookms, Spawn & I stayed there til about 8 in the eve having fun chopping it up with the families. I am pretty much joined at my brothers' hips when we see each other & we have even started considering going to the bathroom together to save on missed time with one another. I know, I know. SHUTUP.

So after we left my mom & dad's pad we headed to Mike's sister's domain, where we elected to just spend the night, we had planned this a week ago actually, seeing that Black Friday started at 5:00 am anyway & I have made it a point to accompany Mike's sister every year now as part of a tradition. To be honest, I don't really go for the sales (even though they are pretty grand) I just think it is great entertainment to see humanity at it's 'finest'. Funny thing here is that Kristi is a fucking PRO at dealing with 'tha noize' that is Black Friday. She knows all the secret mantras, passageways & tombstones to push & scoot aside! I'm tellin ya! Eastmost peninsula has the SECRET!

The spawn were really excited about us all spending the night there, they brought all their game systems & She-Spawn even brought Castlevania SOTN cause I got her hooked on that em-effer. We got their & pretty much everyone in the abode was appropriately intoxicated. I was greeted by a very staggering sister in law at the door; she had been drinking & cooking for 2 days straight & totally had the shit eating smile to prove this insanity. So not only was Mike's sister, husband & spawn there, but Snookms' dad, his step mom & some other Harley Davidson lovin neighbor who I had no idea about; & they were all plastered too. I had to go 'commando' for the remainder of the evening because Mike's dad made me piss my pants with laughter. He took turns calling every member of the household a 'punk -BIIIIIIIIIYATCH' at the top of his lungs & I just lost it when he turned to his wife & called her one too. He was ... immensely hilarious. It was pretty funny seeing him call his own son (Snookms) a 'punk biiiiiiyatch' repeatedly throughout the evening. Many other crazy conversations took place that night & Mike's dad officially knows that I want to take him home with me one night. He is seriously, pretty fucking hot for an old geezer. I am thoroughly pleased with the prospect of how Snookms is going to look in 20-30 years. Cause if it's anything like his pops, IT'S ON.

Stayed up through the evening after all the intoxicated people were vanquished, even brought my pajamas & laptop (so's I could work on Lucifer's Scar, gawud, I'm so delusional sometimes!) & typed the night away till it was time to shimmy up for the Black Friday madness.

It really wasn't bad at all this year; no waiting outside for an hour with hundreds of other irate humans, & they weren't hostile, neither were the employees. We went in, got our shit, waited in line for about maybe 15 minutes tops? & then we were on our way to the next greedy corporation. We got to Target & turned right back around when we realized the lines went all the way to the back of the store. Kristi was still feeling pretty 'electrick' so we didn't spend too much time at Menards. But that is usually our triumverate of haunts that we make a concerted effort to hit up each year; Walmart, Target & then Menards. So we did 2 out of 3. Not too bad. I was able to snag a 7 dollar Joker (yeah! I said Heath Ledger alright, WUT?!) zip up hoodie & The Phantom of the Opera on dvd for 2 dollars for my troubles, & some decent loot for Snookms & Spawn. Got Snookms the new Star Trek on dvd for 7 fat ones, The Dark Knight for 5, or was it 7? & the new Joel Nosteratu Osteen book for 9. Also bought Snookms a down pillow cause he misses the one he used to have when he was a little 10 year old chronic masturbator. There is just something that makes me feel all warm & fruity within when I know I have had something to do with bringing some semblance of that era back for Snookms. I'm like, "Here! Go take this pillow in the bathroom & masturbate like a little kid again!" Sometimes we manage to miss them lonely days, y'know?

Alright! Now, on the way home from Mike's sister's slumber partay, Snookms & I take it upon ourselves to bring (along with our own 3 mind you!) 3 of her spawn home with us. We were pretty beligerent & delirious from lack of sleep, we both had to sleep on couches, apart from one another's embrace; NEVER A GOOD THING. Well, we exchanged some pretty harsh words as a result of our misgivings. Ultimately it boiled down to him telling me that I "need to learn when to shut up" & me threatening to "throw him bodily out of the god damn car myself". I was pretty amazed at how awful we were able to be with each other? I mean, we NEVER talk that bad to each other! But alas, we eventually made up when we got home, he apologized for telling me to shut up & I said sorry for wanting to throw him out of the car. Later that night it made for some pretty dirty, knock down, drag out sex, that is all I am tryna say. I TOTALLY felt like a slut-ho. But in a good way.

Saturday was OUR turkey day, Snookms cooked an awesome 20 pound turkey but he decided to be a total jerkface & not stuff it with any onions or potato(e)s like I commanded him to. It still came out good & so did everything else & it was really nice to have our own leftovers to rummage through at midnight. After we got all of Mike's sister's spawn evacuated we elected to take a family drive downtown, listening to Christmas muzaks & admiring the giant tree that was all lit up at The Circle downtown. It was crowded down there & we were stuck in traffic for a long time next to Borders & I kept peeking in there while we were waiting & wishing we could be in there sauntering the halls & secret passageways. They even have stairs at that Borders! So I ventured to ask if Snookms wanted to park & walk there & he said okay. We had fun people watching on our trek to the two storied Borders downtown & it made me miss my Teenage Wasteland days real bad; me, Let-Dawg, a fat bowl o' the good schtuff & Haight & Ashbury for miles & miles. Those were the days yo! But I have my own days in the here & now & they are equally great.

So this Borders is beautiful. There were even places to sit & drink Seattle's Best Coffee on the stair landing; I kept picturing Mysty & I in there all tucked in one of the nook & crannies giggling away about double dongs & Marduk. It will happen one day. It SHALL happen!

Was able to talk Snookms into purchasing 'Brave Story' for me, I was really aiming for volume 7 of the Sandman series, but that was, of course, THE ONLY ONE THEY DIDN'T HAVE. So I took a gander at what Brave Story had to offer in the graphic novel section & decided to brave the waters. I've only read a couple of pages so far but it seems to me like a very child oriented story. I'm not complaining, just reporting what I've gathered so far....

I finally dug my claws deep enough into the Book of the New Sun novel that Mordicai recommended me a while back. I really can't wait till the kid's winter break starts so that I can't truly sink my teeth in, cause already I am in love with Severian's narrative. I'm at the part where his doggie is near dead & he has gone out to look for it.

Speaking of other books; I am also STILL tryna to trek my way through the rest of 'City of Saints & Madmen' AND 'The Center of the Universe'. I'm also awaiting Mordicai's ' Watchtower Gothic ' to arrive in the mail any day now. He's quickly become one of my favorite authors. (Along with Neil Gaiman, Nicola Griffith, Sexy Betsy, Jess Watsky, Kathulhu, & Miss Erica Orloff) His chronic use of the ampersand has worn off on me terribly! See????

Other good stuff....

• Our Christmas tree is up!
• I got to watch 'High Tension' with Mysty earlier this afternoon (which was off the fucking HOOK)
• She also bought me the most adorable Jesus candle holder, which touched me a whole helluva lot, considering she doesn't share my delusions. She even paired it with a black candle. I wonder if it can summon demony things? But seriously, I love it!
• Let-Dawg recommended this bomb ass poor boy recipe for canned corned beef, cut up cabbage & slivered onions over fresh rice & it was a huge hit up in heeeeyare.
• Even though I didn't make the NaNo grade, Lucifer's Scar is now officially done, done, DONE! & I will be putting it up on Lulu sometime soon for those of you (if any!) are interested in giving it a twirl.
• Jess fookin Watsky managed to find me thee most EPIC of all fucking shirks; can you say KRAMPUS little children?
• I have 45 dollars in cash in my purse that don't need to be directly forwarded to any utility billz, which is a fucking RARITY.
• Sex's new erotica tale is going to be out Jan. 1st, which I'm totally fucking jazzed about cause I been waiting to see what makes that ass tick for almost 2 years now.
• & the She-Spawn & I got our hairz did on Wednesday & my eyebrows waxed. My fluffy caterpillars now look like eccentric centipedes. Also, I look like a 'Desperate Housewife', minus the sexy element.