current mood: watchtower gothic
currently listening to: boy's life, two-wheeled train
currently reading: The Wasteland
i think i may keep on with this intro to each blog entry. i really like being able to show off not only what i feel, but what i'm listening to, what i'm reading at the time & what colour my underwear is if i'm feeling manic enough.
also. I'M TIRED OF CAPITALIZATION. mostly i blame tumblr for this, but yeah. i capitalize when i want to. so there.
i think mostly what it comes down to is that rules hold me back from so much. unwritten law, written law. all that. i'm not saying it's bad or good. i'm just saying it holds me back. from a lot. whether that is a good thing or a bad thing can only be deemed by the one having to deal with my lack of propriety.
i am hating things today. needing my terrible weapons for things unseen. i woke up with the prospect of a small ball of malice & it steadily snowballed into a great Balrog of unurthly hatred towards all living, breathing things. i think i'm over it for the most part, but oh man! there are those days where it's like a fucking plague & it washes over the whole household till there is nothing left for me to do except mutilate some inanimate object. i didn't do that today tho, some i'm glad about that. it came out in the form of a stupid ass migraine instead.
i am completely in love with united states of tara. went over to my mom & dad's last night & finished watching the last 6 episodes & that show just fucking blows me away with it's accuracy in regard to multiples. or like, d.i.d., whatever it's called. dissassociative identity disorder? i am just kind of floored in how much my own therapist applied this disorder's call for healing to my own personal journey & every word i am just hanging on to for dear life because i can relate so terribly much. i almost started crying (well, i DID cry, i just didn't let them see me break) when the little girl alter came out of tara for the first time. her name is chicken & my heart seriously went POW. i tried to act all unnaffected by the moment but inside i was seriously dying. but it feels so good to know you're not alone sometimes. so good that i hurts i guess? whatever. i can't make any sense today.
also, i got my textbooks for college. getting excited, as it's only a few weeks away. one day i will blow shit up with my mind.
what else, what else! uhmmmm, snookms & i have got most of our christmas shopping done. we made a deal with each other not to buy stuff for each other this year so we wouldn't go broke & so the kids could have a decent christmas. i just told him if we could make sure we have enough billz to see a movie on christmas day & get our msg on @ china buffet then i'd be a happy camper. hell, i'd be a happy camper even if those things didn't take place.
right now i'm watching rob dyrdek's fantasy factory & kind of drooling over drama & how fine he is. i'm not for sure if it was him, but when snookms & i went to watch the UFC fights at bw3's the other week they were making a big deal because one of rob dyrdek's cousins was there watching the fight live. & the dood looked like drama except his hair was longer. but what, hair can't grow? so yeah, i was all ooh-in & ahh-in over him & whatnot. like i am now. he's cute. i like his accent & how he doesn't lose his cool no matter how hard rob tries to make him look like a fool. reminds me a lot of snookms & his cool factor.
i can't believe dexter went by so quick, & i'm even more bummed that him & jennifer carpenter are getting the D-word. i thought they made a really great couple. & of course the fact that they play brother & sister on the show makes it even more, i dunno... shall i say "endearing"? is that the word i'm looking for? but yeah. it's whatever. fine, get a divorce. i don't give a fuck hollywood.
shespawn is back on the silent hill kick, she made me & snookms a really adorable homemade ornament that was silent hill themed when she was in art class & then friday we ventured out to joann fabrics to buy felt & make pyramid head dolls. we had a lot of fun. snookms & i bought her all the remaining games she doesn't own from the series for xmas, so she'll be set for quite some time. akira yamaoka has been on my mind as a result these days, particularly the stray child track. i think i will go crank that while i finish tidying up the house & then maybe eat something with cheese & monster energy. CAN U HANDEL THAT?