Friday, May 4, 2012

i don't hate you anymore ...

current mood:
currently listening to:
currently watching: the runaways

i can't believe how bored i am without any studying or homework to do. i actually ... MISS IT. i guess i miss obtaining knowledge that has specific goals in mind. not that all of that needs to come to a screeching halt just because i'm done with this semester, but i don't have that driving force behind me to get it all done.

i had my last class this morning & aced the psychology final. actually, now that i think about it, i aced the finals for all my classes. & i scored either 100% or 100 + on all of them except the written portion of my access final. got a 90 on that. that's kind of cool i guess, right?

i had been anticipating this week for the last month or so, & a huge knot of worry was clawing it's way up my lower back & it almost took me down last week because i was so nervous about finals & essays. this whole week has wound up being really fun to me though, so i'm kind of sad that i wasted so much time being filled with anxiety about it. i spent monday in recovery mode, but then on tuesday i had to soldier on & get ready for the honors society induction i got invited too. beth, the chairperson for the honors english department was there, & she kept pointing me out to everybody & how excited she was to have me on board. the tables were set up so pretty & they had all kinds of breakfast/brunch delight to choose from. phi theta kappa now has an international president for the chapter & lemme tell you, he is GORGEOUS. long, flowy dreadlocks tied back in the most elegant ponytail, tall, dark, & super slender. he was wearing a suit with all the phi theta kappa regalia & introducing himself to everyone individually before the ceremony started. he had these susan dey/lisa bonnet kind of eyes that just made you want to look far & wide & deep into his soul & he carried himself so professionally, yet humbly.

i had forgotten to text my group partner about me not being able to make it to the final for that morning, since my teacher said i could just make it up another day so that i could attend the induction, & was abruptly reminded when i got a text from her asking where i was. she brought cupcakes & a mixed cd & asked if i could meet up with her at the mcdonalds in the eagle creek area, which i was super excited about because i am a nerd when it comes to the fancier versions of franchises like that. so i agreed to meet with her & we sat & talked & watched the crazy thunderstorm wreak havoc through the streets until it was time for her to go to work. she's like, really into german metal, dubstep, & invader zim. she's going to college to get all professional on the cupcake front, which is really cool if you ask me since i have a bit of an obsession with all those cupcake war shows on tv these days. she made root beer & chocolate chip cupcakes & i ate almost all of them.

the next day i lazed around on the couch all day watching "the chronicles of riddick" & studying for my psychology exam. that was basically the plan for the next two days, just to bury my face in my book, but that night on the way home from taking my kids & their friends to their weekly infusion/churchy thing we saw that the carnival had struck our town & decided to invade it at the last minute. so much unexpected fun on a school night. it was so cute to see the kids squealing like babby piggies on the gravitron.

thursssssssday was the day i had to go make up my final since my interpersonal communications teacher said i could take the day off to go to the phi theta kappa induction & i had time to take a shower & get myself all prettied up. i always get a little braver about my appearance on the last day of school for some reason so i got all dolled up & wore my platform boots & purple velvet leggings & revolver cami. snookms always makes me feel so pretty when i dress like that. i was able to make some lumpia to bring to my professor & stopped at meijer to get her an orchid that reminded me of her & the way she likes to sport yellow & florals all the dang time. i got started on the test right away & stayed after to talk to her for awhile since she is basically what my future self strives to be. she confided in me that she wanted me to become a communications professor like her because she said she could see me doing great in guiding & leading classes the way she does. she gave me a rundown of what she did to get to where she was & was telling me i had a gift for speaking in front of the class. i was getting ready to faint from all the excitement of what she was saying to me at this point & i told her that i would love to do what she does. & she was great at making me feel like this could become a reality. she talked about how i could do presentations on the side too, & that they pay really well. i had been toying with the idea of offering autism awareness presentations at schools these past few months & when she what she said shit just got more real by the minute.

i'll be attending an honors course at the downtown campus in the fall & she was telling me how great the "honors floor" is & that you have to have your own code to get in the door on that floor. she even said there's captain chairs & the lecture room is basically a lounge. i'm new to this aspect of education for the most part. i mean, i did pretty okay in school as a kid, but i never fully applied myself the way i am now. i never got to see the kind of benefits back then that i am reaping now. it's nice to be optimistic.

when i got home from class snookms had cleaned the whole house from top to bottom, vacuumed, swept,mopped, did the dishes, cleaned the bathroom, & made our bed. not gonna even try to lie here folks ... THE CLOTHES JUST FELL TO THE FLOOR

later that night after snookms went to work i felt hella tired so i went to sleep earlier than usual & i didn't get to do my final studying for the night like i had planned. i bolted awake at 4 in the morning & stayed awake until it was time for class, finishing studying. it was actually kind of nice to be in that element. i enjoyed the peace & quiet & the way the sky looks before the sun rises on a humid morning like that.

after i got to class & zipped through the test effortlessly (because psychological disorders & their treatments are my JAM) i decided to take my textbooks to the downtown campus & sell them back for cash. i thought maybe i'd get at the most 70 to 100 bucks for what i had & was overjoyed to realize the books were worth twice that. i'm terrible with surprise money though, so it's always bittersweet in the end when that happens, damnit.

the big, brown truck came by once i got home & my son comes waltzing in with this huge manila envelope. i thought maybe it was the dahmer book i ordered from a day or two ago but it was surprise stuffs from mordicai. i knew about the mix cd, since it was a reply from what i had sent him, but then there was a book too! a golem book! a mike mignola/christopher golden golem book at that! from mordicai!

the rest of this day has just been me floating around in this ethereal kind of form, like the mist cloud from symphony of the night, & i've really been worthless when it comes to accomplishing anything because i'm still high from all the lovely shit happening this week.

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