A new appreciation for music that didn't really suck as much as I thought it did.

That's right. You heard me.

Guitar Hero has that affect on people. I used to cringe in disgust at the thought of "Welcome to the Jungle" playing in my ears. It only took me YEARS to ween myself from Bill Bailey aka Axl Rose as a teenager. So to hear that tune harmonize itself through my angsty young adult years was something equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. It only reminded me of Aqua Net hairspray, safety pins in the pants and Faxanadu for regular Nintendo.Faxanadu wasn't bad, rather a saviour of my wasted youth, it was the fact that I was a participant in the folly that was that era of bad hair fads and acid washed muckery, and that I failed miserably at my feeble attempts to blend in with that culture. An altogether awkward stage in my multi-faceted life. I wanted to ditch that part of my existence in a dumpster far far from wherever the fuck I was. But alas, once the cycle of becoming a young adult has waned, you come into what's called "acceptance", and you finally come to the realization that no matter how bad you try to forget, the bad hair days will always be there, as well as all the leftover holes in the bottoms of your pant legs from trying ceaselessly to pin them up with safety pins. So you sit back, and share the humorous memories with your siblings, and learn to laugh at yourself.

And then when Guitar Hero 3 comes along, you can now revel in the fact that you know every shitty lead in that song and every whine that "Axl" belts out as if they were the very hairs on your own head. And then you become a rock star in your own pathetic God-given right, godammit. Now go rock me like a hurricaine bitches.

I STILL can't get over how fucking ridiculously hard "One" is to play on medium. I almost felt like I was going to have a seizure once I finally DID beat the song.....on fucking medium, for Christ's sake.

Menomena and Craig Thompson - Barcelona 11 october

Just pure awesomeness. That's all.

I SOOOO need to get my copy of BLANKETS back from Kat.

Depreciation Guild - Nautilus

Crank this up as loud as you can.

....and then just listen to the beautifully orchestrated melody.

Me and my observations.....

Yes, there is always gonna be more of these. It's what I do.....

1. Whenever I eat banana peppers the night before, I always forget until the next morning and I take a dump. It will feel like I just shot a cherry bomb out my ass.
2. While on my period, waking up can be quite a battle in the morning. I always feel like I've been drugged the night before. Drugged, gagged, bound, and raped. Yes, in that particular order.
3. I'm an early morning blogger. Then I usually go back to sleep.
4. I should have heard something from the publishing company by now. Is this bad, or good?
5. Soul Calibur 2 is easy. Too easy. I feel like I've cheated life out of handing me my ass, like Virtua Fighter 4 usually does. But I still enjoy the gameplay.
6. I might try to buy Mike the Guitar Hero 3 bundle for ps2 for Father's Day. I don't want him to get mad at me though, and have him think I bought it just for me. I think it would be a good family thing. I dunno. We'll see.
7. Today I abandon my new diet. For the past month I've eliminated beef, pork, and chicken from my diet. Not a vegetarian, because I still eat all seafoods, and eggs. What do you call one of those, anyway?
8. I abandon my new diet for today, because today my mom is throwing my dad and all the other "dads" in the family a surprise Father's Day get-together, and she is making not just enchiladas, but pancit and lumpia as well. There's no way I'll be able to resist the dark forces that tempt me. So instead of effortlessly trying to battle my weakness, I've decided to set this day aside as my day of "abandonement". I'm a big wuss, I know.
9. Nobody except Mike, his sister, his mom, my brother and 1 of my sons knows about my new diet. If I told my mom she'd lecture me on all the different reasons why I SHOULD be eating meat. Which are all very valid, I know, but I just want to be able to try something on my own.
10. Augusten Burroughs dad is pretty hot. I can see where Augusten got his good looks from. I wonder if he cringes at the thought?

Soul Calibur 2 is my new passion for the summer....

It's old news, I know, but I don't give a hoot.

I love Voldo.

Currently voyaging through weapon mode, hoping to pick up a thing or 3 along the way. I won't even TRY to pretend that I am master of using this. I suck, but I do like to play.

I originally feel in love with Link's character, but in finding how utterly revolting Voldo is, my heart just got stolen away by his vapid charm. I love his zombie whine. Snookms can burp just the same.

I like Voldo's "mask look" better, but his/her/it's poofy ass and shoulder sleeves completely ruin the look. I do adore his/her/it's body rotation victory roll. Ever so charming. Just about as charming as garlic breath.

Me and her is You and Me

Infected.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM7MuMEXBgs

"Getting the rage on the page".....

Yesterday was excruciating. I had a 6:00 appt. with my therapist, with taking my son to Riley for his speech appts. sandwiched in between doing groceries. Oig was it a was busy day.

The subject of my daughter came up in therapy yesterday. I always get pretty emotional when it comes to her, as she is my precious, but I always feel I could be doing her better. I start crying whenever I talk about this in therapy, like a little bitch. Mother Katherine encourages me to draw a picture of what our relationship looks like when things aren't so great. I always feel "set up" when asked to do this, like I'm acting out some badly directed psychological thriller starring Holly Barry and Bruce Willis. But alas I go with the flow and quickly doodle evil, condescinding me and a lovely innocent and wide eyed Carmen frowning in dismay at my anger. I started sobbing uncontrollably, looking at Carmen, looking at me, and how much it resembles my own childhood. Mother Katherine asks what "that part" of me would be saying at that moment, and I continue to cry even harder. I am amazed at how much I can't gain control of my sobs. In this moment all I want to do is run home to Carmen and give her a hug and kiss her pretty eyes and never ever let her go.

Being a kid can suck balls.

So can being an adult.

Far too late in the afternoon...

I can't believe 2 of my kids are still asleep. It's almost 11:30 in the afternoon. The other one, the oldest one, is wide awake, laying on the couch half naked, with his Spongebob boxer shorts, and Spongebob comforter. He looks so quaint, just lying there, watching his Spongebob cartoons. I wonder how much of the world is aware that Spongebob is the Anti-christ?

I need to wake my other 2 from their dreary slumber so we can get the free government funded lunches provided at their school. I am putting off waking them up. I am pathetic.

The lunch ladies have this sort of "persona", if you will....like the world owes them something because they're serving free lunches. I feel bad everytime we go there, and want to offer up whatever I have in my pockets, be it a shiny nickel, lint, or a pineapple, but alas, my pockets are always empty. Next time I go there I'll make sure I have Hawaii in my pocket with a house on the beach for each lunch lady and her ever-enduring persona. We DO owe "the lunch ladies of the world" the world.

A Midsummer's Night....

I cooked out for dinner. I love to cook out. It's these same humid summer nights, these same lonely summer nights that I live for every year.

One year, I was going through one of my manic phases of bi-polar. It was like 3 in the morning, and I had just got done moving my furniture around. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. I had the sliding door open with the screen closed to let some of that midnight summer humidity in, so I could feel summer's midnight wrath full force, when I heard a sort of heavy fluttering sound, sort of like a bird. I thought to myself how unusual for a bird to be out and about this late, so I wondered excitedly if it was a bat. I saw from the shadow of the porch's light that it had to be something pretty substantial, to cause that much of a shadow's forecast. I quickly grabbed a jar and headed to the porch light that this creature seemed to be attracted to, and low and behold, it was a giant freaking moth. It's wingspan stretched further than both my hands put together. You could clearly see it's eyes, mouth, tongue and other such counterparts, and it's body was as fat as my ring finger, and just about as long. It was a beautiful silvery color, with splotches of black here and there. I felt as though I was disrupting the forces of the universe by ensnaring such a beautiful thing. I quickly brought it in the house and took turns waking each of my family members up individually, so I could show them my newfound discovery. I didn't have the heart to let it go without first showing my kids and husband, granted it was 3 in the morning. They were all far too befuddled with sleep to show any real appreciation, but I understood. They were sleepy. The next morning I knew they would be full of questions, and that's all that mattered. I unscrewed the jar I kept this flight of soul in, and let it free into the humid summer night air, wishing it well on it's exotic travels. I will always hold that night dear to my heart, as it was a moment with God that I truly felt He shared with me. A "picture" for our album of life to later share together and reminisce over.

Every time I go out there to cook on our grill, I remember that special moment together and feel blessed to be alive, no matter what the circumstances are around me.

Yes indeed, what a horrible night to have a curse....

This twisted wretched place shadowed by the utmost darks of hellin dreams of black beyond the bounds of a withered witch's spellwhere the doors surely are locked when the sun threatens to wanewhere shamblers dwell in dim moon light beyond the warmth of dayliars line the roads at dawn watchful eyes are upon you heldsacred weapons to the sacred revealed to be unleashed upon the council of hellblood flows down the streets at night where wolves cry out for fleshwhere a horrible curse taints the woodlands nearby with the forms of the walking deadunholy inversion of hope twisting the faith of the meek into hatedriven insane by the dark one to bring forth the foul biddings he speaksthe undead are among us at dawn they shrink back to their silken bedsthey dance by night and drink the blood of a child's broken neckhis spires are growing taller still their shadows stretching throughout the landfreeing the evils that sleep within the weaker minds of maninto the tower never go the horrors multiplygears can mince the strongest ones leaving heroes paralyzedthe rivers flow with poison the sands swallow you wholethe ghouls that roam this darkened wood are thirsting for your throat

"Woooo".....

Pathic-tery

1. I don't stink today
2. My cat does
3. I really like this new format
4. Myspace really DOES suck
5. Myspace is more user friendly
6. Many people get on my fecking nerves
7. I wish I knew what I was doing on here more!!!
8. I'm gonna go try to find a new layout
9. This list to be continued....

Bullshit

I started this secret blog a year ago. I can't believe it. I STILL don't have a god-damned thing to say either.