Someone bake me a cake because I am HUNGRY

It is snowing & I love it. The blizzard intrigues me!

Well I have been a real busy body lately; not much time for anything I like to do on teh intarwebz. But that is a-ok! with me, it's kind of nice to have a thing to do & a penny to earn. I think what gets most difficult about my new life schedule is those weeks I have nothing but appointments once the spawn get home from their according academies. This week = Social Group for Jr. on Monday, Chess club & ISTEP tutoring for Jr. & Fezziwig on Tuesday, Speech therapy for Jr. on Wednesday & then the light @ the end o' the tunnel is Date Night with Mysty. We are probably going to see Legion, which I'm pretty jazzed about, BUT! I am trying NOT to get my hopes up too high in case it pisses me off with bullshit friendly shaningans. Sometimes movies like that just don't dig deep enough? But we shall see!!!

I can't even remember what happened on Friday except for giant sub sammiches from Penn Station that can clog an artery in 5 seconds or less. Oh, wait. The lunch date! I almost forgot. That went exceptionally well. I met w/ the spawns' school psychologist @ the school then we rode together to Panera where we met up with Jr.'s old occupational therapist & speech therapist. These ladies combined could fuse together to become one of the most formidable Voltron variations I know of? All 3 of them are in their 40's, dashingly gorgeous & charming, passionate, & unconditional in their love & judgements upon others & have the fashion sense of David Bromstad. I was so flattered that they wanted to take me out on a lunch date to celebrate my memoir. & let's face it; I know my book wasn't the greatest, there were so many typos, a lot of bullshit prose & just a bunch of footsteps in the dark. But the fact that they took the time to read it meant so much to me. They could've got bored & chucked it. Or offended & disregarded it. Instead they took time out of their lives & even sought to give me a card, each of them signed & enclosed a personal insight to what they felt about the book. They even bought me a beautiful necklace & some earrings. I was so touched I almost started crying. Then they even told me congratulations in the middle of our lunch date & started clapping. I wanted to sink into my seat! On the way home I had a really great convo w/ the psychologist, (we always have these!) & I drove home in my own car once she dropped me off feeling such a deep sense of connection with this woman. She's in charge of the Autism Awards Ceremonies in Wayne Township & wants to see if she can get any costume stores to donate a few Star Wars get ups so all the adult participants of the ceremony can don space gear this year. I think that would be EPIC. So if any of you know of a place that might be willing to do something like this, let me know. I've scoped out a few places on the net, but so far I haven't got any nibbles. It'd be for a great cause!

Saturday! Oh dear god Saturday! It was a nightmare. A mess. A week ago I had done what my sister in law likes to call an 'initial' clean on the spawns' bedroom. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had contemplated it to be, but it still needed decluttering in the closet, in their drawers, in the TOYBOXES. So Saturday was the day our 5 member household combined efforts to do so. We emptied out the closet, the drawers, the toyboxes. Stuff was everywhere. On our bed. On the dining room table, all the heck over the surrounding floors. There was nowhere to sit & rest at one point! But we were adamant & by 3:30 am we were able to clean up most of the disaster. Snookms even installed a ceiling light in the spawns room which I kept giving him shit about since he had to go up into the attic to do the electrical work. It is NOT to my advantage that he isn't a chicken baby. Damn you Paranormal Activity!

Sunday was another day at the new church. It went well. The pastor was talking about this story of Esther & her cousin Mord(e)cai. I really like the way he tells the stories too. It's not boring & full of inserts I want to term as bullshit.

Snookms & I had taken separate vehicles because he was invited to watch the Colts game afterwards out @ his momz & I knew I wasn't up for hanging out at someone else's pad all day considering we just did that at our own the day before, cleaning. So afterwards I took the She-Spawn with me whilst the other 2 remained with their dad & we had ourselves some fun.

We went to Peking Buffet for lunch in Plainfield & had a crab fest. By crab fest I mean unlimited amounts of crab, melted butter, lemon & soy sauce dip, & rice, rice baby. We ate till we exploded. Then we went next door to check out Rue 21, which is a clothing store I really like. It's a lot of cheaply made threads but hey man, they're pretty cute AND pretty cheap. She-Spawn found some really cool shoes & I got some sexy gun underwear & a cute yellow ninja top. She-Spawn got a chibi-ish looking alien one since she is obsessed with little green men/women.

We were going to venture to Best Buy afterward on a mad hunt for a Joy Division cd (I love how she loves what I love!) but after we realized how many bills we just dropped & decided to save it for another week. Instead we went to visit my momz & popz & just had a bunch of fun sitting around & chatting. My parents DVR everything (which I am starting to get pretty jealous of because I haven't ordered that yet on my own account!) so they had us stay & watch some great stand up comedy. I think the first one was an HBO special? Or maybe it was Showtime? It was a bunch of asian comedians (mostly filipino/a!) doing stand up at their finest, Slanted Comedy. I really loved it because there is so much inside humour from the filipino/a perspective & I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. I know Snookms would totally dig it cause he is forever tryna come up with lame ways to trump my ass cap-wise. The show was chock full of good ammo for Snookms.

Monday was busy but fun. After helping my sister in law with her cleaning biz & picking up the spawn & marveling at the blizzard we all sat around & watched District 9 which I fucking loved. I wasn't at all sure how I was going to feel about it until my mom & pops relayed to me some of the details of the movie. & my dad keeps tryna pimp Pandorum on me; he even bought it & is all like, "You need to come over this week & watch it with your mother & I". So that needs to go on the calendar as well.

I also came home delighted to find an email from SexScenes, asking if I'd read over a couple of chapters from her latest WIP to see if she got the feel for one of her characters right. I was fucking FLATTERED, cause she's pretty top-notch when it comes to writers in my book. (You people/posthumans know who you are!)



"I'm in love & DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!" ~Buddy the Elf

Vade retro Satanas

Holla!

Okay so that is my chant for today. I've been creeped out since yesterday doing all that exstensive Anneliese Michel research. & I don't even know WHY I am doing it, except for the simple fact that subject matter of that aptitude intrigues me to no end. I know it'll come in handy one day, I just don't know when.

But yes, this case of Anneliese. It's what the Exorcism of Emily Rose was loosely based off of. & that is not even why I started in on it, I think it started from wanting to show my nephews some oujia board stuff on youtube & the threads slowly lead to stuff about demon possession & then of course dear ol' Anneliese. First I watched some supposed actual recordings of the exorcism but I never like to rely on youtube for truths so I further researched & came across the actual movie they did of the exorcism with english subtitles because it was killing me to know what Anneliese was saying to the priests whilst they performed their exorcisms. I guess there was 6 demons? At one point she claimed to be Judas, then Lucifer, then Hitler, then Nero & some others I can't remember.

The actual footage is real creepy at this point, when Lucifer is speaking. He claims that he did not follow the lord's decrees & wished to reign alone. I so wanted to hear more! When the priests had initially thought they had banished all 6 the demons wound up coming back & claimed that they willed to go but that they were not allowed to do so. A couple days later Anneliese died & that is when the accusations started in regard to Anneliese being neglected & starved & such.

I guess I wanted to form my own opinion based on the information that was presented. I mean, I listened to that audio, & the way everything sounded, geeze it sounded awfully legit. My initial reaction was to be angry at the parents & the priests too, but when I read up on more details & listened to all that audio ... I dunno. Pretty spooky.

There was another part that had me sorta creeped out & that is when the priests had brought 3 separate cups of water into the room where Anneliese stayed, one blessed by Romans, another blessed by something or another, & one that was just plain tap & that is the only one she willed to drink. The priest that was repeating the account of this had also said that Anneliese kicked one of the cups & that the water managed to remain in the cup while it hung suspended in the air for a time. Eeeeeeeeeek!

So that is enough of that.

Our weekend was busy, Friday we did our usual outing & abouting. Saturday was a nice treat, I thought Snookms had to work for a few hours but he called off at the last minute. It was quite scrumptious to wake up next to his gorgeous skin so close to mine own. I love the way his flesh smells in the morning!

After the day got it's start she-spawn met up with my mom & niece & we hung out & had girly time at the dollar store. They had Throwback Pepsi so I was pretty jazzed about that. There was also some Jonas Brothers houseslippers I kept giving my niece some shit about.

My mom, being the sweet & ever loving mom that she is, offered to buy them for my niece & I had to stifle a giggle because you could tell she was tryna be nice but at the same time is like, "Uh fuck no gramawmaw, I'm too old for this shite!" So then I kept telling my niece that I felt compelled to purchase them for her anyhow & threatened to smuggle them in the hood of her jacket. We giggled about that for a time & headed home to find out what Snookms & the remaining company were doing. He decided to take the other 2 boyspawn out to his sister's for a sleepover so then Carmen & I got to hang out some more with my momz & she wound up coming with us to see The Lovely Bones.

It was pretty much what I expected it to be but not what I had hoped. It was, after all PG-13. I have harboured a secret crush for Stanley Tucci so watching this didn't make me hate him. I wanted to see less dead little girls & more uh ... you know. The bathtub scene in the beginning had my heart feelin all confuzzled.

Something here I think is that the unknown scares us. We make our own stories up as we go when we don't know about a thing, & I think it's not any different for the story of pedophiles. It's a pretty taboo subject; nobody wants to 'go there' when it comes to taking the innocence of a young child. But I have my own personal views on that & there is a post I once read from one of Adam Lowe's many blogs that I could really relate to. If I find it, I'll link y'all to it. Some food for thought, at least in my own crazy grey matter? Oh, wait, HERE IT IS!

Since I had a house full of mostly prepubescent penis we elected to go to Walmart late night Sunday & one of the nephews had leftover money to spend from his birthday so he bought a bunch of airsoft gear, then we went to White Castle & I ordered a case of cheeseburgers. I had never been blessed with such an ample opportune to do so, it was rather liberating to carry a case o' $23.00 meat around in a cardboard suitcase.

So we get home & Snookms' Avatar lovin pal is there & winds up taking Snookms & she-spawn to go see it with him whilst the rest of the testiculars stayed with me. They had never seen Paranormal Activity so we turned out all the lights, grabbed our miniature cheeseburgers & had us a night. It was hella funny to see preteens get that afraid. Cute, fun, & downright hilarious. They kept going on about Katie's hot rack & how they wished for it to be possessed. I say go for it?

I have a really funny picture of them all on the couch snuggled together but my phone is refusing to behave itself otherwise I'd share. Perhaps when the bill gets paid appropriately?

Monday was MLK day, so we had it off to do whatever we liked, even though I didn't. It was spent cleaning up & taking the kiddoes back to their mother hen.

Oh! We also tried out Mike's sister's new church that she kept telling us all about on Sunday & it wasn't bad at all. It's in what used to be an old Marsh grocery store building, right next to the McDonald's Snookms & I used to work at, so that was pretty cool. It was one o' them fancy grocery stores too, had pianos & chandeliers for lighting fixtures. Interesting to see it in this light? The atmosphere of the church was very Joel Osteen like in the sense that they didn't preach down or at you. It was like a self help kind of atmosphere, & there was nobody there that gave us condescending glares just cause I wear chains that hang past my knees or whatever. So we shall see what comes of it.

See my thing with beliefs here is that, well. Geeze. I don't even know. I mean, I believe in the same Jesus that I guess most Christians are raised to believe in, but at the same time, I don't go for a lot of the other stuff that goes behind it. Not that I hate anyone that does go for it, it's just not what floats my boat. & the difficult dynamic about Christianity is that most everyone in that boat will shake their dissaproving finger at you for doing what floats your own boat.

This is where Snookms & I collide most. I mean, you guys should have seen his face when he first laid eyes on the actual real live copy of Lucifer's Scar! I thought my heart was going to tear in two! He has a very conventional & standard set of beliefs for his own self, which I do my best to give him room to have. But sometimes he is just completely assaulted by my love for what he deems 'blasphemous'. & I can understand it if I put myself in his shoes, but sometimes I think he has a very difficult time putting himself in mine.

It can get disheartening at times, but it always comes down to love for him & I. We love each other & are willing to put our differences aside because we feel that way about one another. It's not easy at all for me to agree to disagree with him, but we do it because we can. I can't always say the same for others. A lot of people don't get Snookms & I, & I think it even creeps a lot of people out. But I'm not here to be un-creepy?

Well, she-spawn has fallen asleep watching 10 Things I Hate About You, & I have a Shadow & Claw series plus word bank that I need to catch up on, so I will quit the babbling.

& remember the chant babies!

Fun Friday!

Snookms is trying to make gold. & zinc. FROM PENNIES & TOILET BOWL CLEANER. No lie. There is a blow torch on at full force in my kitchen & 2 curly headed nimrods attempting free masonry typed things. Snookms is also wearing a Colts jersey, automatically dubbing him 'hobo'. So there you have it; hobo-alchemy.

Alright. First things first!

"Lucifer's Scar; A Love Story" is here for your reading pleasure. (Mom?)



Only one thing displeases me, & I know of no other way to remedy this issue ... It is really not THAT big of a deal for me, more of an obsessive compulsive typed hang up but the uh... chapters? They don't start on a new page! They'll just start wherever the fuck they feel like starting, so not all of them are starting on new pages like you'd typically see in a book, even though I formatted the document to do so. & I'm thinking maybe I should've used the 'page break' option to avoid that? But yeah, coulda', shoulda', woulda'. Oh well. You live & you learn. Wut can I say?

So yeah. Totally jazzed about that. I got mine in the mail yesterday, after I got home from dusting rich peoples' knick-knacks with Kristi, my sister in law. I think she is pretty much the best human being to have for a sister in law? I've never wanted to punch her & that is always a plus. That is hard to avoid with in laws. Also, Snookms mom falls in this category too. She's a keeper.

Got the most ADORABLE fucking Krampus shirk in the mail courtesy of the illustrious Jess. She knows just what I like:



I've already got quite a few compliments on it. I adore how there's petrified childranz in Krampus' little backpack o' love. Squeeeeeeeeak.

Hmmm. Other stuff...

Stupid stoopid me thought there was a lunch date today with my spawns' school psychologist, we were s'posed to meet @ Panera for lunch celebrate my other book, but I was damn wrong, it's not til next Friday. I felt like a complete ass in her office chopping it up with her & she's all, "So, you think you're gonna be able to make it to lunch with us next week ('us' being the speech therapist & occupational therapist my son used to have when he was at that school) & I'm all like, "Uhm. Huh/WHAT?" So yeah. Total ass. But it wasn't a complete loss. I got to see the school psych's pretty/gorgeous face (she has this sort of illuminating beauty? It makes the halls glow when she walks down them, kinda like that balrog beauty?) & she lent me "Pretending to be Normal" by Liane Holiday Willey, which I've been wanting to read FOREVER & a day now. It's about this lady that has Asperger's & how she didn't find out til she was much older, like maybe 40 older, or something? I dunno. I'm too lazy to do research right now for the sake of sounding un-ass-like. & besides, that usually happens regardless?

So all day long I've had 'Tegan & Sara's' "Hell" stuck in my brain on repeat today. I am in serious lust with that song & it's all Brandi Candi's fault. Mysty keeps giving me shit for it BUT I DUN CARE. I love it. S'kay though. I still love her Christ-Raping-Black-Metal-Lovin TOOSH. We went to see 'Youth in Revolt' last night becuz we both have pedophile like crushes on Michael Cera. At least that's how he makes me feel when I get a boner from him? He totally reminds me of Snookms when I first met him. That whole 'I'm a virgin but I don't give a shit' persona that he put out. & that gentle nature of his, it's very feminine but such a goddamn turn on. Snookms totally has that & can pull it off. Mysty & I had a verrrrrrrrrrrrrry hard time stiffling giggles all throughout the night.

She looked so damn beautiful too. She was 'Professional Mysty' last night. & she has sekritz too that only people in her soopersekritklub can know about, but I know of them. She's awesome like that. She also bought me an adorable "Jack; the Pumpkin King" purse & I used it today. I plastered it with all the Smurfs pins Let-Dawg bought me for Christmas & it looks adorable. I don't give a shit HOW LAME anyone thinks I am!

Snookms, spawn & I had dinner @ Panda Express tonite & something about all that MSG makes me really hyper, & the spawn too 'cause we were having way too much fun at SuperTarget pushing each other around in the carts like we were in real life Mario Kart. We were pretending to be in the MUSHROOM GORGE!

I thought there was a whole lot of other shit to talk about but I guess not. I already promised myself I wasn't going to bitch about Castle Age OR Vamp Wars for at least another two weeks.

Friendo?

Here today, gone tomorrow/tomarrow...

I think finally my regularly schedule programming is back to it's usual self for now? We shall see?

What with the spawn getting sick a week before winter break let out & 3 weeks of irresponsible bliss, things definately required a different style of living.

So glad to be able to resume my daily agenda of morning coffee with Erica & Stephen's rants, amongst other favourite haunts I visit on a regular basis.

So like, I was able to finally upload Lucifer's Scar successfully onto Lulu! & I didn't have to sacrifice any of the adorable images my spawn worked so hard on either. It took many tries & failed attempts & a whole evening of being away from the family to do so, but it is done.

I am now awaiting my own copy to be delivered in the mail so that I can make sure it's up to par with my preference of 'presentable'. I shall let you know how it fairs friends.

I did elect for it to be letterhead size, so it's kinda graphic novel style, but not quite? I wanted to try something different, I just hope it isn't too much of a risk. The preview Lulu provides of the book shows that some of the text is being cut off, but I am hoping that it's just because of Lulu & not my hogwash theory of what 'creative' means. Again, I shall let you all know.

Went sledding for the first time on Saturday evening with Snookms & spawn. It was possibly the best kind of free fun you can get in the winter.

Yes, this was the big fucking hill I slid down on. There was a wee baby that took it upon itself to sled down shortly after I did, resulting in my skidding down halfway with my ass faced to desired place of destiny. I was so afraid I was going to crash into this kiddo & ruin its life! My face was all a flutter with snow dust & my neck became numb for the rest of our stay there, but goddamn, it was worth it.

I was in love with the dark wintry eve that night, it created this atmosphere that one might experience when admiring those small scale towns they have on display @ Menards regarding happy jolly Christmas time.

& then we rushed to Kmart afterwards to score some hot chocolate, marshmallows & whipped cream to top the evening off. Definately an evening that is going to go in the memory book of my heart.

Been playing a lot of Guitar Hero 3 as of late, being that the spawn got it for Christmas. We have it for PS2 already, but the controller is all fuckin whack & the one Fezziwig got me for my berfday causes me to fail; it's meant for Rockband I guess? I just know that I do much better on this here Wii controller that is MEANT for Guitar Hero & not Rock Band. I'm still not back at my 'expert' level of playing, but I'm getting there, rehashing my love for Social Distortion's 'Story of My Life' & 'Paint it Black'. Though I prefer Black Dahlia's version!

Was able to take down all our Christmas exploits last night too. The house looks so empty now? But in a good way, so I won't bitch. Snookms & I were marveling over all the Christmas loot we actually got the kiddoes, most of it being games & dvds...

She-Spawn got Guitar Hero 3 for Wii w/ the controller, Degrassi season 8, Guitar Hero Metallica for PS2, & Spirit Tracks for Nintendo DS.

Fezziwig got Lego Rockband for Wii, Call of Duty 3 for Wii, Cars Race o Rama for Wii, some Need for Speed game (I think it's Nitro or Carbon?) for Wii, & the newest Ben10 flick, the one that's an actual motion picture I think? 8 Crazy Nights, Joe Dirt (that David Spade flick where he has a mullet?) I can't keep up these days!

Jr. got Bully for Wii, The Grinch (animated), Majoras Mask for N64, the new Thomas the Tank Engine where their mouths actually move when they speak, (the oldskool Thomas is way better IMO) & Mario Kart for Wii.

Snookms got the first 2 seasons of Scrubs, the Skillet cd, & Avatar (based off the Nickelodeon cartoon) for PS2

& I got Pink Floyd the Wall on cd.

So that's what good in the way of electronics anyhow. It made for a damn hefty stack to file in our ever growing shelving unit.

Snookms, spawn & I are going to attempt to make another sledding trip when he gets home from work & I am finding myself excited over this.

Watched 'No Country for Old Men' the other night w/ Snookms & I really dug this movie, but I kept dozing off at the end off and on so I need to rewatch it. That bounty hunter though? Fukkin A! Now THAT'S an Astaroth, MY idea of Astaroth. That's who I was tryna picture before I could readily come back with Sam Rockwell as a runner up in Teenage Wasteland. That pneumatic contraption he was using to open doors with & shit? Holy fuck. Badass. & the inflection in his voice when he spoke & such... no doubt about it, he is the heart of Astaroth. Sheeesh.

I still dig me some Sam Rockwell though.

There was this very poetic sense about the movie that I totally dug, plus it had this 70's vibe to it that I drool all over when it comes to certain flicks. Few succeed in attaining that sense of retro that I hold in my heart as dear, considering that is what was surrounding me in my infant years. There is this very autistic form of reasoning I hold fast to in that 'era' (if you will) where certain colours represent emotions, hairstyles & fluffy moustaches & such, do you even know what I am saying here? Textures & patterns are very important too, they have to be spot on for me, body language & such. It's ... weird is all. I'm a big whiny face when it comes to the details of certain things I hold so dear. It's for a reason, I can promise you that.

But yes, Snookms got stood up on a movie date last night, we were supposed to rewatch it but I fell asleep! I was so tired, I couldn't help it. I elected to do the rest of my sleeping in bed, (I was falling asleep on the couch like an old man! Sitting up!) & crawled into my sleeping quarters. The last few minutes of Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church thingy was on so I fell asleep watching that.

We had this strange moment of clarification the other morning, Snookms & I, in the least expected moment too. Right before we were about to have sex. He lay there, just staring at me. I knew he had things to tell me, there are always so many things to say when one suffers with what he suffers with. "But now?" is what I was asking at the time. I was okay with it though. & I could tell he was too. & then we got down to other things & it made for some great music between the sheets. That kind of music where you feel as though all is well, even though it ain't?

If that ain't love, I dunno what is folks.

Boooooooo!

Boo on Lulu!

I am having one HELLUVA time uploading Lucifer's Scar onto Lulu. First off, it DID initially allow me to upload it as a PDF file, considering the funky fontz I'm tryna use, okay? Well, I decided to take it down right quick so I could incorporate some images my spawn created (courtesy of Paint, woohoo!) & then uploaded it right, fine ... right? Well, then I had to add a couple more images & now Lulu is giving me some shit about the 'Times' font not being embedded as a font. I'm like, "Wut? I'm not even USING a Times font fuckers!"

So that's what's been driving me bonkers this afternoon. This kind of shit is making me want to smash stuff.

Oh yeah. Christmas. I haven't talked about Christmas, because it was a nightmare before Christmas.

I'm sure everyone knows all about our plague sufferings what with my insolent whining via Facebook updates.

Snookms Grandpa passed away a week before Christmas too.

Christmas itself was not so bad, at least no one was sick, so we were all pretty jazzed about that.

& I got a trench knife & some Victoria's Secret fragrances that I really adore. Got to see Sherlock Holmes. Lazed around for the remaining week of winter break. That was fun.

First 2 days back I played bloody maid & helped my sister in law with her cleaning biz, dusting thousand dollar knick knacks for rich people. It was actually kind of fun?

I'm hoping she can use me on a regular basis, I could use the extra cash.

Composing an interview for Betsy (aka SexScenes) (aka Ainsley) in regard to her latest release Quencher. I was hella stressing it at first cause I didn't want to be sounding like a newbie ass/fail, but she seemed pleased well enough with what I came up with. Should be in Electric Spec sometime in February? I'll keep you all updated.

So yeah. Mostly I want to bitch about Lulu & how much I am pissing myself off with my lack of knowledge. Hopefully I'll figure it out. I'm frightened of the notion that I'll have to delete the images my spawn worked so heartily on.

Fezziwig made me the most ADORABLE cup of filth & blasphemies for the "Whore of Babylon" chapter header.





& also an equally endearing papal tiara (Triregnum!) for the "To Mega Therion" chapter.

& the she-spawn composed a Beelzebub fly I want to squee all over. It's not fair I tell you, not fucking fair.

Other stuff I am currently contemplating is personal info Mysty relayed to me about somebody I THOUGHT liked me but now I am of course questioning the hell out of their motives for even being my friend. I hate trying not to care about that stuff?

I missed a lot of potential fun dates over winter break too, one with Mysty, another with Kat. & I'm way the fuck behind on learning all about Severian. I'm going to get a big fat F in my new book club already! At least I have a cool name for the Spear of Destiny in Lucifer's Scar courtesy of the Shadow & Claw series.